Losing control

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Normally, I'm really good at controlling most of my AS symptoms at work and in public, but I'm finding it so hard at the moment to keep that control.
I find myself in tears for nothing, getting really angry at small things. I froze at a roundabout this evening- too much traffic with lights and couldn't cope. Whenever anyone touches me, I snap at them as I can't stand it, and at the moment it feels more painful than usual.
I'm finding sleep so much harder than normal, and I'm already a near insomniac.
My problems with communicating are getting worse and I become physically incapable of speech on a daily basis. This hasn't happened for years, and I thought I'd managed to get control of this.
I walked out of a meeting at work for the first time ever as I just couldn't manage any more- particularly with a senior manager who I would probably have shouted at and then burst into tears if I hadn't walked out. And then today this same person made me so angry that I made a hole in my hand with my nails as I was clenching my fist so hard to try to control my anger. I've been in tears 3 times this week at work, when usually that never happens, and had a meltdown on Wednesday because I was in such a state (though noone saw this, thankfully).
Anxiety levels are really high- I'm having trouble going round the supermarket, and just haven't been out unless I really have to. Executive dysfunction is worse than ever- so bad that my mum's having to come this weekend to sort me and my flat out as I'm just not coping.

It's never been like this before: I'm usually pretty good at controlling my AS- in fact most people don't even know as they just think I'm a bit weird- and don't usually show much of the typical symptoms. But recently I just seem to be losing control and everything is slipping.

I really don't know what to do about it, or why this is happening.

Maybe you're stressed out? try to relax a little bit.

Maybe you've taken in so much stress from your job and this person you work with, that you can't take anymore in.

Most of my jobs, i have left because stress and frustration (usually interpersonal) just got to be too much to shake off. i don't think I've ever given two weeks notice--in over 20 years--I just walked out.

Your body/spirit might be trying to tell you to take care of yourself. No job is worth that much. Good luck.

You don't say where you are or how old you are -- UK? "roundabout", "mum".

As with Georgia, most of my jobs have been walkouts on my part, though occasionally I got fired, and just once I gave two weeks notice. I think all of them (except the one where I gave notice) were Depressive episodes, almost always in the autumn when I was going down, without antidepressants, and usually pretty much as you describe. Is this your first job? It wasn't as easy to walk out of school.

At least you'll have the weekend to de-stress, unless the presence of Mother is in itself a stressor. For you, if in the UK, it'll be Saturday morning very soon, and I hope you're already peacefully asleep. Here's hoping the morning has you feeling better.

Maybe you can find a doctor who'll prescribe antidepressants for you, if the rest of your life fits my long-distance "diagnosis". But even if you do, they take a couple of weeks to start working, if you happen to get the right one first try.

As Makayla said, try to relax, anyway, whatever's your favorite method.

Some of what you wrote reminds of things that I experienced in the months before I left my last job. I remember locking myself in a bathroom for half an hour or so to ride out a meltdown triggered by sensory overload (normally I could do something to deal with the sensory overload before I reached the meltdown-point). I also remember shouting at my boss in the middle of a different meltdown (I don't normally yell at people even when I'm very angry, and had never lost my temper at work before)...thankfully, I managed to stop shouting pretty quickly, and my boss was very understanding.

In my case, my diminished ability to cope with stress was related to burnout--I went through a period where I could barely leave the house and couldn't talk to people. I'm not saying my experience is the same as yours--just that I can relate to some of the things you wrote about. I'm sorry you're going through this....I can imagine how awful it feels.

I know this is much easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up or panic about finding it harder to cope and not knowing what to do. Sometimes it takes a while to figure things out,

It sounds like burnout, which means that you might benefit from a vacation of alone time.

Similar things happen to me when I have too much to worry about, do not sleep enough, etc.

First thing for me was always to get more sleep, make longer nights.
Other thing was to take my rest, make less hours, or skip a few days.
Later I would take some days of to tidy my house and recreate order in my house.

It would also help to talk someone, most of the times something was bothering me, which I did not recognize at first.

Sounds like you're stressed and need a break.