I heard distressed voices from my kitchen window this evening and leaned out the window to observe a young teenage boy being kicked and beaten by another. I shouted "stop" three times. The lad eventually stopped but I'm not sure if I helped. The boy who was beat up was left hunched in the corner of the fence on the grass, crying, and hugging his stomach as he'd been kicked hard many times.
He didn't get up straight away and was still crying so my Son and I went down to see if we could help him. We couldn't get access to the area as it is a building site and there were loads of children coming out of there over the fences. I then saw the boy walking (he must've got himself out of there). I said I saw him get beat up and was he OK and could we take him home. He didn't want to acknowledge me. I guess I made a mistake because maybe I made him lose face infront of the others, or maybe he just was capable of dealing with the situation on his own and was OK.
So I left that experience wishing I'd known when to stop.. i/e/ I should've left them to it. That theory proved itself by my seeing that the injured boy then punched another lad because he'd heard he's said to beat him up. They all walked off together, a big gang of children of mixed ages. They chased a young black man off who was obviously their friend calling him the N word. I say he's their friend because they were all of them smiling and laughing by then, even the man being called the N word, and the beated boy was on his bike joining in.
The point of me telling you this story is that in my community everyone acts in certain ways that aren't nice yet it is considered normal. I make the social faux pas in my area by caring in the traditional sense. The way they are is so weird and disorientating to me. I do wish I didn't let what I feel is right get in the way, as I reakon I just come off as a naive idiot in this area. And I wish i hadn't asked my Son to come down with me.
The upside of it is, that after my Son told me that the boy who got beat up wasn't very nice and had flashed in public earlier on in the day, I got to decide for myself what I was up too in going down to see if he was OK. I told my Son I don't care who the person is whether they are nice or not.. what it is to me is I saw someone get beat up and I wanted to make sure they are OK. In this way I got to know myself and my Son got to know me. Although I had already complained about the area being crazy, I'm sure that whatever my opinion I reakon I have good intentions and that's what matters at the end of the day. I have to not care about "fitting in". I don't anyway so I don't know why I worry anymore. Actually, I worry more about people having a problem with my Son if they have a problem with me and taking it out on him. That's the real concern. My naivity can put him at risk when I think about it. If it was just me I wouldn't care at all probably.
But it interesting.. I just read more of the Social Rules book on here and it really made me "re"realize that people don't care about me (This is referring to posts about social conversation, questions, answers, etc). I know that I STILL beleive that people do. Something inside me I think keeps refusing to want to believe it.
I want to move, but is the world like this everywhere? The world is moving so fast.. or is it that I just didn't notice it because I'm living in a fantasy world where everyone is suposed to be nicer than they actually are?!?!?
24 Sep 2011, 4:21 pm
I'm glad you agree it's twisted. Dreaming of other places.
