Help! I'm being bullied at school!

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I'm having a serious problem at school.

It all happened a few days ago on school Athletics day.

I was playing footy with 4 people who I usually play with at recess and lunch time.

The problem all began when one of the kids deliberately kicked my football at my midsection. While I was on the ground, another kid strangled me and then let me go. There was another kid who standing next to me and while I was crying, that kid didn't bother to help me up. As soon as I stood up the kid who didn't bother to help me up knocked me back onto the ground nearly damaging my spine. Then the 4 kids who I was playing footy with stole my football and all kicked it around to each other. It took me 10 minutes to finally get my football back and I ran away. When the Athletics day ended the 4 kids kept harassing me. I sat as far away from them as possible on the bus back to school and on my way home.

Anyone know what I should do? I don't want to get bullied again!

Report it to the police.

The fact that several of them attacked in succession you each following the bad example of the previous is one of these BS group contagion things. It's scary and it's bad. In fact, a lot of atrocities from human history are this exact thing

Do you have a Dad you can talk with (I could never really talk with my Dad), or an Uncle, or an older brother, or a coach, or a scoutmaster? Both help you talk out and make a plan. And if you go to the police or the school authorities, you'll be treated a heck of a lot more seriously if you're accompanied by an adult authority. Shouldn't be that way, but probably is.

About a year ago, I made a post entitled:

Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html

I don't want to oversell. Even with someone your own size, might go either way, 50-50, might win, might lose. Be gracious. Think of Steve McQueen character from Hud, or a James Coburn character from any Western. Win some, lose some, don't particular give a damn either way.

Now, I don't really believe that, but that's kind of the attitude to have.

And almost prefer a draw, because you're not trying to humiliate someone, esp someone you're likely to see again. In fact, I wish this approach was used more often in international relationships.

If you choose to do this, during training, please don't take a bunch of blows to the head because all that stuff about post-concussion syndrome and even repeated lesser trauma is largely true. And just like football helmets don't really protect, presumably neither does boxing headgear.

To state the obvious, and any good instructor will tell you this, you're not looking for trouble. But, just having this available, in paradoxical, almost zen-like fashion, makes it less likely that you'll have to use it.

Hi. That's pretty bad. Once these guys figure out that we aspie types are easy targets they'll be encouraged. There MUST be some adult you trust or who seems friendly and knows you whom you can ask, 'Could I ask you about something?' Even if they are an art teacher or librarian or something totally unrelated, if they are someone you feel is kind and helpful and wise, they should be able to figure out how to find someone who can help more directly. I don't know where you live but my teaching classmates are required to do something about anything they're made aware of. And if the first person you ask is not helpful, try another until someone listens. Good luck!

The school authorities are highly motivated to avoid the hassle of a formal report. In addition, a teacher or principal does not want to be criticized by their peers for taking on a mid-tier case. You weren't really hurt, that's the way they will look at it. Well, you certainly could have been seriously hurt, and they certainly should want to address this issue before a student is seriously hurt, because the next time student might be. Well, surprisingly, bizarrely, disappointingly, they don't seem to look at it this way. They certainly should, but they don't. So, I recommend the method of

The pre-formal report

'I just want to give you a heads-up . . . '

' . . . that if it continues to be a problem, I am going to need to file a report.'

'No, just some guys clowning around and it got out of hand.'

You see, you turn it around. Be dry and police-report objective about what happened 'yes, the guy squeezed my throat and then let me go' Let the teacher be shocked, and then argue against it.

And you say, 'No, he was just clowning around.' You are being very honest about the facts. You are just downplaying the interpretation.

Let her argue, no, no, that's really serious.

That is the turn around you are looking for. Almost like moral ju jitsu where you turn around the issue.

Then . . .

'I don't want to file a report at this time. But if this continues to be a problem in any way, I am going to have to.'

See, you are using their desire not to file reports, that might motivate them to do something informally so you won't have to.

And again, all this will be taken a lot more seriously if you have a parent or other adult authority sitting next to you (or a teacher you know and trust as seaside suggests). Maybe this person could take the attitude that it's medium serious. And let the school official argue, no, it's very serious. And you probably know which person like an assistant principal is a can-do, reality-oriented individual who might have to the skills to matter-of-factly get this to stop. For example, he might be able to say to the boys, no, he choose not to file a report even though I tried to talk him into it, but if this continues in any way, I'm going to be the one to file a report. Realistically, the person might not be this skillful (and maybe that would be overplaying it, too much like a movie), but he or she might be skillful enough.

And one of these guys might apologize to you and mean it. Although, probably not.

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And by the way, Welcome to WrongPlanet! Sorry it has to be under these circumstances. But we are a friendly, positive, constructive group, most of the time. Please feel free to hang around a little bit. You might like us here.

As far as I'm concerned, this qualifies as assault in the US. You should document (photograph) any injuries immediately and keep written and dated accounts. It would qualify as an automatic suspension in my district, as far as school goes, but that would probably just piss them off.

also, stop playing with them.

Thanks for your suggestions, guys.

I do have my parents to talk to, but I don't want to tell my parents or teacher or the police about my problem because they might laugh at me and I would feel very embarrassed. Also, there would be a possibility that those 4 bullies would get extremely angry at me after dobbing them in and they might beat me up even more. It has happened to me before in the past and I can't make that same mistake again.

I don't want to fight back either because I'm not that type of person.

What the heck, you broadcast this to the entire internet and yet you claim to be frightened of telling relatives or authorities... That just goes along with the joining onto WP date I suppose....

I would be concerned about that, too. If the school authorities handle it poorly, that is all too likely.

Now, what do you think about the aboce strategy of understating it to the authorities 'Want to give you a heads-up. Not yet a problem, might become a problem,' that is, playing poker a little?

This is also based on the idea that a serious discussion all too often almost becomes a mini-debate with one person taking one position and another person taking the opposite position, and thus by underplaying the hand and taking the position >>this happened (very factually accurate) but just guys clowning around (of course untrue)<< hopefully this will motivate the principal or teacher to say, No, no, this is serious. And this is the position you want them to be taking in the first place.

(of course nothing is guaranteed, but this might actually be the percentage move.)

I really encourage you to think in terms or OR, and of multiple tracks and multiple possibilities. Please don’t think you’re stuck with having to talk to your parents first, or really at all. (and frankly, my Dad often blamed me, whatever the facts. The facts didn’t matter to him. Hopefully, your parents are somewhat more engaged with actual real-world happenings.)

There’s no reason you can’t talk first to a teacher you already know. Take a medium step to feel out the teacher and give him or her a chance to come through, at least as far as taking this seriously, which he or she certainly should do, but not a step so small that the teacher is unclear what you are asking.

And a pause of a couple of days can turn out to be positive.

Or, maybe just take one private boxing lesson and see what you think, or download an instructional video from youtube. And then give yourself a day or two to feel-and-texture the situation and see if you want to continue forward, or another track.

Am wishing you all the best in this difficult situation.

Dude. If your parents would laugh at this they are very bad people. Your parents aren't bad people are they? Especially given you're being GANGED UP ON. When more than one person is involved in attacking you, there is no reason to laugh at that. Most non-sociopaths would be sympathetic to you.

Those kids need to go to juvie. they can't beat you up if they're in Juvie. Call the cops on them.

There is no need to report to police just tell the Headmaster.

Describe what happened to one of your teachers. Do not tell them who did it.

When they ask, tell them you can't say. Say that they threatened to come and find you and strangle you again if you dobbed them in.

Find out what the teacher's can do for you and if it sounds good go with it. If not, go speak to a different teacher until you get the result you want. Easy.

If your parents love and care about you then they wont laugh at you, infact it would be the exact opposite. They most likely will be extremely worried for your safety and also maybe wondering why you didnt tell them in the first place. You do definatly need to tell your parents, i dont know them but i highly doubt they would laugh at you. This type of bullying you cant deal with on your own. Your parents will probably contact the school and hopefully they can do something. If it happens again then go straight to the teacher as soon as it happens instead of waiting untill you get home to tell your parents (although still tell them but as soon as it happens go straight to a teacher.) The Bullys might get angry at you for dobbing you in and pick on you for it but again just keep telling teachers and your parents, they shouldnt get away with this and hopefully if its a good school then they should be able to deal with it and it should stop. Hope this helps, I now do schooling from home as i got bullied terribly when i went to reguler school.