Are you a loner?

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I am. I love it. I've been like this ever since I was a kid. I make friends but I only like to hang around with them for very short periods of time, I prefer to be alone. I came across this article:
http://aspergermindspeaks.blogspot.com/ ... s-mri.html
and read the My Comments part and thought that was the biggest load of BS concerning autism I've read my whole life. Whoever wrote that does NOT have autism. Hes saying the autistic person is an extremely social individual. Just saying the word social makes me feel sick. Literally, I feel nauseous now after thinking about it. I have little or no desire to connect with others. I like exchanging information with other people and I respect others and like the way we can work together as a team on things but I don't socialize, I don't even understand what socializing is. I find sawing my own leg off with a rusty hacksaw more enjoyable than sitting around talking about meaningless, pointless BS. Only joking I've never sawed my own leg off with a rusty hacksaw so I don't know what it feels like and I'd say it'd be far worse than sitting around socializing but there are many so called painful and negative things that I find more enjoyable than socializing. One night I forced myself to endure a couple of hours of sitting around with my mother and her boyfriend talking absolute BS while they drank wine and smoked cigarettes, the experience left me feeling sick for another hour or so afterwards and if that wasn't f****d up enough, my ma now uses that as an argument against me when I say I don't like socializing. She'll be like "but you've spent hours talking before", my god this BS instills homicidal rage in me sometimes. After that day I decided I will never again participate in that mindless BS and if anyone is offended by me ignoring their attempts to get to join a conversation, thats their problem. I seriously doubt I'm the only one here with these sentiments. What do all of you think? Are these people who claim to be autistic yet also claim that they are social people, just posing as someone with autism for some reason? I was diagnosed with high functioning autism, I dunno if thats different to aspergers or not but most of the time when I read someone diagnosed with aspergers describe themselves, I can relate 100, its just the odd time I come across a so called person with aspergers claim that they like socializing and it leaves me wondering if they actually have autism or not.

The main difference between Autism and Asperger Syndrome is that Autistic people either DON'T want to socialise or they are unaware of it to begin with (low functioning) while people with Asperger Syndrome WANT to socialise but because we have the same traits as Autistic people, we find it very hard and its like being stuck inbetween two worlds for me.

I am a loner, always have been and most likely always will, I don't mind having a friend or two with me but a whole group with me just makes me quiet and don't want to talk to any of them, thats why I don't go to nightclubs or anything like that.

Redacted.

Last edited by Willard on 01 Oct 2011, 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AS is just going to be classified as High functioning Autism now? They can't just do that, there was a reason why it was there in the first place because both groups share the same traits but they acted differently when it came to contact with people, it just makes no sense for them to just turn around and say "AS is now high functioning Autism" just doesn't seem right to me.

Oh of course not, even though I am high-functioning I still struggle with social skills, maintaining friendships/relationships etc. and I doubt that will ever change, might improve over time however.

The last part is all true but I think there are a few exceptions to that.

I like to socialize, but I am terrible at it, but I'm kind of a loner other times. I socialize when I want, but if I have nothing to contribute to the conversation, I go off by myself. no sense in boring myself and others.

I also heard that Asperger's used to be called autistic psychopathy. Quite insulting, don't you think?

I find larger groups better, because at least then if there's an awkward silence i don't think it's my fault. I hate socializing with just 1 person.

OT: I am a loner. I have a few 'friends' at college, but i never speak to them out of college, and when they invite me to the pub or whatever, i always decline. I'm not interesting in that sort of thing. I prefer coming home and feeding my obsessions.

I'm definitely a loner, but I don't really like it. Sure I have acquaintances, but no close friends.

I'm a loner. If there are animals around, I'll go hang out with them and just pet them until it's time to go home. I'm good with animals.
I like being alone. It does get lonely, but I have one good friend who texts me regularly and seems happy when I text her. I enjoy that because it's companionship without violating my comfort zone. It's still uncomfortable when I have to meet up with her to hang out, though. I'm always scared that whoever I'm with is going to think negatively of me for being so incompatible with other people.

Yes I'm a loner I tried joining clubs but it didn't work out I got picked on and bullied I much prefer being on my own and doing my own thing.

And where have you read that? Because I can't find anything about actually wanting to socialize or not in the diagnose.

Just because you have some of the social skills and a normal development of language doesn't automatically mean that you want to socialize, just as there are NTs who don't like to socialize (some having a personality disorder, some don't).

I would say that most people with Asperger want to socialize, at least after what I've seen, but that doesn't mean that everyone wants to.

Just as there are people with "standard" autism who want to be social, but can't because they don't understand the social world. Just because they don't speak a lot or try to make contact (at least most of them) doesn't mean that they don't want to. That's to say that there are probably those who want to and those who don't. We are all human after all, even with autism, asperger and whatnot.

I myself don't feel the need to socialize, but sometimes when I am in a social situation I kind of feel the need to get in on the conversation if they are talking about something that interests me. Let's say I had an obsession about trains. Now if someone talked about trains I would probably like to talk have a word or two. At least if they are wrong about something. Like at school when someone was using Ubuntu on his laptop another guy whom I have talked a little to before said "ohh gnome 3 nice". I pretty much had to correct them both saying that it was Unity and not Ubuntu, even though I had no intention to speak to them before said thing happened.

I do think I have a social need myself, but it's not strong enough to drive me out of the house in search of it. I don't really think of other people I know once I am by myself, then it's only about me.

That is not to say that I haven't enjoyed being social in the past, but that I don't crave it as much anymore.

I do have a friend who I chat with almost on a daily basis unless I am too busy with a new special interest that takes up all my time. Then I might end up writing "sup bro" after not speaking for a week or so.

I also used to have a friend who I might not have been too kind to. He was always the one calling me, and I tended to make up excuses at times when I didn't feel like hanging out, ending with my cutting contact completely at one point. What sucks about that is that i can never say sorry seeing as he died not too long ago.

Thus right now I have one friend who I meet up with maybe one or two times a year and mostly just chat with. When we meet up we tend to hang out for one or two weeks nonstop though. After that I am totally exhausted and need some alone time for a while.

I have been invited to parties and such at my university despite me never even showing any interest for any of my peers, but I didn't feel like going. Not really my thing.

I guess I am a loner by choice. If I were to be very social I would end up missing out on my special interests and I would end up feeling confused and lost.

Last edited by proxybear on 28 Sep 2011, 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am not against socializing but I can't take it. 10 years ago I thought that was a bad thing but now I enjoy my solitude.

The truth is, I don't understand people. How they are... the games they play. I tried to be a part of them but it really didn't work out. I'm thinking maybe there are some people like me out there who I can befriend eventually, but I don't really know.

Been told about it from professionals that explained it to me in simple forms of the differences between Asperger and Autism. I think this explains it as well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome even though its wikipedia, I doubt they would mess around with important information such as this.

i'm a loner but it is not all my choice. i would've been happier earlier in life if only i had compatible people to share my life with, to associate with, do things with and exchange thoughts with. a lifesaver for me was the local aspie association, after decades i finally got to meet people like myself. once a month i get to meet with the others and feel like a human again.

I agree with Willard. I tried to be social when I was younger but I was never able to with any success. I'm actually much happier being a middle aged broad hermit.

I don't see anything that clearly states what you are saying in the article on Wikipedia.

The closest (but yet not the same) I could find was:



What I put in bold text doesn't mean that some people with Asperger doesn't enjoy social interacting, but some just don't take part in it which makes me believe that their need for social interaction is quite low or nonexistent.