A poem for the girl I love, is it creepy to write

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I wrote this poem for a girl im not going out with yet so i wonder about that

I see you in the midday it feels like my brains full of taurine
Im like a robot unicorn fuelled by rainbow gasoline
I sit here ranting about all the s**t I hate
Until I see your nice eyes and begin to contemplate
my sillieness
Cant wait to see you again
our coversation is like an apartment bomb set by Menachmem Begin
explosive crazy, wont you join my supernova
we'll frolic and play in valleys and problems will solve em


Tell me what yall think

Ugh. First, I'd hesitate to even call that poetry. Is there any structure too it? Does she like being sworn at in a love poem? Some of those phrases like "robot unicorn" and "rainbow gasoline" and calling your conversations an act of terrorism or whatever that is will probably rub anyone the wrong way. It's downright confusing.

I once wrote a poem for a girl that I liked; in iambic pentameter because I wanted to see if I could. I showed it too her once, but never told her that I wrote it for her.

The Girl of the Dreams

Our first connection still in my mind gleams
With luck, you’ll have a place in your heart too
I wish you’d say you feel the way I do
You always will be the girl of the dreams

I wish I’d been there when you needed me
I could have helped you sort out what is real
You know I sense more than what you feel
What we are is less than what we should be

All my life I’ve felt this empty hole
I feel like you are my one missing piece
And only you can set my inner peace
You can free my soul and make my life whole

You are the thinker floating through the night
You hit the switch but you can’t change the light
Sleeping, feeling, thinking, dreaming of love
You are the light that guides me from above



Poetry seems to be the only way I express this kind of emotional overload... rather embarrassing to that end. As you can see, the language is kind and pleasant, and something even possessed me to make it rhyme. I'm the guy who never cared about poetry rules, but I seriously impressed myself with this. It is about 3 years old, and is the most recent serious poem I have made. The severe emotions don't happen that often.


I've no intention of being rude or insulting, but it is my opinion that you should write something else, and not show her this. That said, maybe it fits into the way the two of you communicate. I've never met her. But I'd recommend considering that carefully before acting permanently.

Lol, so funny, but sweet. Hahahahahhahhhhhhhhhhahahaahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahaha