Page 3 of 3 [ 46 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Washi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 804

06 Jun 2021, 9:59 am

Yes, I get mad when people expect me to make money off of my hobbies. As though the joy they bring me weren’t reason enough to pursue them. If I do something well I’m frequently expected to just start a business and sell my creations. That would really suck the fun out of it and do harm to my mental health. Another science based interest I excel in prompts, “Are you going to go to school for that? Is there any money in it?” No I don’t, and no there isn’t. I have more than a 5 year streak on Duolingo, only my immediate family knows about … although my son has a big mouth and has a history of oversharing that I speak a language that I am still far from being fluent in - so I deny it. It’s not a very useful language (like Spanish for example) and I have no intention of visiting the country of origin so I don’t want people judging me over how I spend my time there.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,364
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

06 Jun 2021, 10:22 am

I do have special interests kept as secret. :P


It was nothing shameful, inane, forbidden or to be wary about.
It's mostly personal guilty pleasures I'd rather not get caught dead around. :lol:


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,137

06 Jun 2021, 3:05 pm

Washi wrote:
Yes, I get mad when people expect me to make money off of my hobbies. As though the joy they bring me weren’t reason enough to pursue them. If I do something well I’m frequently expected to just start a business and sell my creations. That would really suck the fun out of it and do harm to my mental health. Another science based interest I excel in prompts, “Are you going to go to school for that? Is there any money in it?” No I don’t, and no there isn’t. I have more than a 5 year streak on Duolingo, only my immediate family knows about … although my son has a big mouth and has a history of oversharing that I speak a language that I am still far from being fluent in - so I deny it. It’s not a very useful language (like Spanish for example) and I have no intention of visiting the country of origin so I don’t want people judging me over how I spend my time there.

I knew a man who liked to make model railway engines and coaches. People were often suggesting he turned it into a money-making thing, and he was sick of hearing it, and would usually get angry about it. During one of his more mellow moments he explained that he didn't want to turn it into a business because it would take all the fun out of it.

My father was very interested in keeping pigeons and was clearly quite an expert in many aspects of the activity. When people suggested he went in for pigeon-racing or show competitions, he wouldn't hear of it, saying that the pigeon-keeping fraternity was corrupt and that he didn't want anything to do with them. I think also he didn't want anything to interfere with his freedom to pursue his interest in his own eccentric way.

I suppose I'm much the same about my music. I have enough trouble as it is compromising my own impulses in order to collaborate with other people. I see the value of doing that, and I hope I'll never stop, but it's still a strain after decades of trying. Doing music professionally must be even harder.

I can understand why people are always saying "why don't you make money out of it, why don't you join a society for it?" Obviously it does look like a great idea. Getting paid for doing what you love is most people's idea of paradise, and exchanging ideas instead of re-inventing the wheel all the time is also potentially a wonderful thing. But I suppose Aspies just aren't comfortable enough to deal with all those people and to "contaminate" their solo activities with the influence of others and with the directive to make it financially profitable.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

06 Jun 2021, 11:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
I carved my own phaser (Type-I) out of a block of hard maple, and managed to construct a circuit that made a phaser-like sound when the button was pressed.
That sounds pretty kewl. If it looks somewhat realistic, you might could sell some on eBay. I might would buy.

I'll expand on my other post in this thread from way back :arrow:
I've had various interests in my life & some are not mainstream but others are. I don't mind talking about my interests if I'm in the rite group of people who are interested & want to talk or at least willing to listen. However I tend to be a very quiet person offline. I'm used to others not listening to me. Some people automatically assume that I don't know what I'm talking about because I seem slow or ret*d to them. Others assume that I don't know what I'm talking about because of my lack of experience with things but you can still learn from doing research & hearing what others say on the subject. I'm also used to getting in trouble offline for being rude & offensive when I NEVER was intending to be. There seems to be LOTS of double standards that work against us autistics sometimes. If someone bullied me in elementary school, they were just friendly teasing & it was my fault for taking it personally. But when I tried to joke with others I got in trouble for being mean. When going to social things with my parents, they would grill me on proper manners & how I should talk when others try to talk to me. Then on the way home they would b!tch about how I talked too much or said things I shouldn't of. The stuff with my parents continued till I was in my mid 20s. My mom would also occasionally go snooping through my stuff thinking I might be on drugs or planning something bad. All this contributed to me being a private & secretive person. I never know when I'm suddenly gonna be in big trouble for just being me when I was never intending anybody any harm. I also never had a lot of friends so I'm very used to indulging in my interests on my own instead of talking about them.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

07 Jun 2021, 12:18 am

I used to talk a lot about my interests, mainly when those were computer games and architecture. I found communities and universities where I could build an audience for my opinions. Then I realized people viewed me as something of a pitiable clown, and realizing the gap between my self-image and how others saw me, I stopped socialising, deleted all online material, and left the country.

Nowadays I don't really have any interests, so not much to keep secret. If I develop any future interests, I sure won't share them. While it may sound harsh, I'm sick of getting flak just for being me.



Udinaas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2020
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,264

07 Jun 2021, 4:00 pm

I'm open about different interests with different people.



CinderashAutomaton
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2021
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 203
Location: Canada

12 Jun 2021, 1:02 am

Secret? No.

I take the word to mean keeping something hidden from those who want to know. A more apt question would be whether I censor my special interests.

And the answer is yes.

As others have said: No one is as interested in these topics as me. Well, sort of.

Since my 20's my interests have been mostly science, math, philosophy, engineering and game analysis. They can be discussed with others to varying degrees, and if I do a good job at it, I can even use my knowledge to wow some people with generally interesting facts. Of course, that's when interacting with laymen. I guess I'm lucky that most of my interests are also professional fields, so there's plenty people out there who're already very knowledge. The only trouble is getting into contact with those people, and the inevitable misalignment of levels of knowledge. Obviously I won't match a PhD who's spent their life in the field, and that difference can be even more stark than that between a layman and I.

I have some odd interests, too, though. Some are adult topics innappropriate for conversation in most circumstances, some are niche interests with few peers, some are just normal hobbies.

I don't expressly keep things hidden. I just learned long ago that foisting my deep interests on unreceptive people won't get me the response I desire. I can still socialize without going into my interests. I look for healthier ways to fulfill my brain's needs.

That being said, it can get pretty lonely lacking a social outlet for my special interest needs. I used to share some of my accomplishments to friends and family. I wouldn't get into it, I found a good way to parse things so that laymen could still find it entertaining. It was brief, but sufficient for me and an entertaining quirk for many others.

But then mental health complications happened.


_________________
Thank you deeply for sharing your experiences. I don't feel so alone anymore.


cbd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 12 Apr 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 246

12 Jun 2021, 9:20 am

i dont even like sharing music with people .for example driving in car .

so it plays into me not sharing my special interest in music .. for the most part.

i find it too intimate in regards with certain moods and subject matter .

last thing you wanna do is vibe to Barry White with a sibling, friend or parent ..



simonthesly74
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 13 Jun 2020
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 88
Location: Michigan

12 Jun 2021, 10:27 am

I don’t tell most people I meet in real life about my interests if they don’t ask. And even when they do, I won’t go into detail unless it seems like they’re also really interested, so as to avoid infodumping.



Udinaas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2020
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,264

12 Jun 2021, 10:44 am

cbd wrote:
i dont even like sharing music with people .for example driving in car .

so it plays into me not sharing my special interest in music .. for the most part.

i find it too intimate in regards with certain moods and subject matter .

last thing you wanna do is vibe to Barry White with a sibling, friend or parent ..

A lot of what I listen to is too emotionally intimate for me to share in real life, but for completely different reasons than Barry White...



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,137

12 Jun 2021, 2:40 pm

cbd wrote:
i dont even like sharing music with people .for example driving in car .

so it plays into me not sharing my special interest in music .. for the most part.

i find it too intimate in regards with certain moods and subject matter .

last thing you wanna do is vibe to Barry White with a sibling, friend or parent ..


I used to just think that if I liked a record, it must be a good record and everybody else must like it too. These days I do share music, but I think about who it is I'm sharing it with, and I try to tailor the selection to what I think might be their preferences. If I'm too uncertain about that I won't share it at all.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,709

12 Jun 2021, 3:18 pm

Between September 2012 and November 2019, I went to between one and seven unfamiliar public litter boxes a week and took bowel movements

Bathroom

McDonald's
Starbucks
Bed bath and beyond
Petco
Peet's coffee

CVS
Walgreens
Library

For example


Many precious lil "people" acted grossed out when I told them.

They misconstrued it

So I stopped telling precious lil "people"

Any actions or statement could get misunderstood

The speaker has one definition and every other interpretation is a misunderstanding

Everyone has subconscious biases

Overreaction

So now when someone asks about hobbies I tell them , none


:mrgreen:



Lady Strange
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 21 May 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 195
Location: USA

13 Jun 2021, 9:50 pm

I tend to keep it secret, at least I did when I was younger. Now my husband can't help but know about what I'm into now, but he's ok with it. I don't tend to drive him nuts about it. I don't really talk about it with other people though. I know what you mean though about feeling sorta possessive about it but I think that has gotten a little less as I've gotten older, it was pretty bad when I was young.



honeytoast
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2020
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,015
Location: 1Q84

13 Jun 2021, 11:45 pm

It was a defense mechanism for me, and still is. I only share interests with very close friends. I am afraid of what I like being used against me; as a way to insult my character.


_________________
dear god, dear god, tinkle tinkle hoy.

~~~~

believe in the broken clock and who's side will time be on?