Tendency to keep interests secret?

Post Reply New Topic

My interests are indeed scary territory for me:

1. My interests aren't usual
2. Even if they were, my interest in them is extreme, and that makes people uncomfortable
3. Even if they're willing to accept 1 and 2, their patience is limited. I can easily get carried away and "run it into the ground"... safer not to start talking about it period
4. There's also the possibility that by talking about my interests that are so different from other people's interests, I give the impression that I'm "trying to be different", which is itself some sort of social offense as I understand it.

In short, the more intensely interested I am in something, the more reluctant I am to start talking about it.

I don't care about what people think about my interests more than is expected to care but I don't talk about them much.

I never had the desire to share them for the sake of sharing them and I still do not. I do not entirely understand what exactly drives other autistic people to talk about their interests or special interests.

Maybe - I'm just taking a wild guess here - it is because most humans have the desire to have conversations with others and in autistic people talking about their special interests is a form of expressing that same desire? Or an acknowledgement that if they're addressed or specifically asked a question they need to respond verbally? Well, I don't know about this.

Of course, by now, if someone has an interest in common with me, we may end up making small talk about it. I learnt to acknowledge that there's a social expectation behind that and that it can present a very useful expectation indeed. Luckily, besides awesome-going social time, that way I will learn of new information too such as release dates or anecdotes that I didn't know because I don't care about spending too much boring time on a topic.

I can't share some things about interests because others don't see them my way but usually, I am perfectly content to keep these special approaches and the joy all to myself.

(Note: I'm not sure if I have (a) special interest(s))

Yes! I always thought it originated from them not being appriciated when I was a kid and being told things like I "needed to widen my horizons" or that it wasn't good for anybody to be obsessed with anything. I remember when I discoved Sonic the Hedgehog was an obsession, I didn't want my parents to find out. I realised my mom knew anyway because she suggested Sonic when she asked me who I would choose if I could be friends with any fictional character and when she asked me why I never looked for Sonic T shirts at the mall. I lied and told her it was because I never thought about it. In reality it was because I wanted to keep the obsession to myself. I think the cat is out of the bag now. I do have one Sonic shirt but I actualy only wore it once. I have a Sonic hoodie that I've never worn. My former biggest obsession was Lion King. I saw it in 3D two days ago and it just wasn't as awsome as I remembered it and I was actualy kinda bored. My mom and I even had the theater to ourselves. I also have too many negative memories associated with Lion King. I can't think of any negative ones assoated with Sonic. I will never give up meerkats.

I have one friend who likes the company of weird people who say weird things, so I share my interests with her. I don't bother with anyone else.

There's Lion King in 3D! Oh gosh, I didn't know about it until you wrote this! Thank you so much! I love it! I want to go and see it!

...and I'll need to talk somebody into going to watch it with me! Looks like I am going to have to talk about my fondness of the Lion King to someone my age as soon as possible. I hope they still share that childhood interest enough to want to go watch that film.

I share my special interest with everyone, but I'm not going to tell you what it is.

As a child I memorised soccer results and league tables going back to 1888. Occasionally I do a circus trick of churning out information about soccer statistics I learnt 45 years ago, just to surprise people. That's probably a mistake but I don't care.

So Lion King is your special intrest too? Want to talk about it via PM?

i always feel like when i share them to much they lose something.... I don't like them any less, just something changes. I don't usually share unless someone asks. My family and close friends know.

Yeah, I have this problem. I'm embarrassed when people ask me about my interests. They're so esoteric.

I get the sense that no one is as interested in my interests as I am, and so sharing them with others would inevitably only disappoint me. If I really wanted, I could make myself depressed over this, but I don't see the point.

In high school I finally learned that the obsessions I had were not socially acceptable. Now I have trouble sharing anything about myself for fear of exposing too much about my world. This makes doing my thesis proposal excruciatingly difficult, as my area of choice is so central to my concept of self.

I tend to keep some things secret mainly because they a bit silly and I don't want others to think that I'm being silly. There is one thing in particular that I started doing when I was in elementary school (no, it's not picking my nose) and what is interesting is that it is something of a pastime that many others share without feeling any need to keep it secret.

I don't have many interests

Although I don't share too much about my interests with anyone unless they share the interest

Too many things get misunderstood

I usually keep my main interests, at least, pretty private for fear of being judged harshly for them, either the topic and/or the intensity of interest (no exaggeration to call it “obsession” for me, a lot of times). Even here, where I know people are less likely to judge, I try to keep things somewhat subdued. Though I have a tendency to get carried away if someone else mentions something first, or shows interest if I casually mention something

I never really talk about either of mine, apart from talking about autism here. The other, no one really gets, and even if they do, they aren't as interested in it as me. Too much rejection over the years about other interests have taught me to mostly keep my mouth shut. It even keeps me from hitting "submit" on most posts that I write here. I should feel more "safe" here, but it's hard to unlearn the habit of keeping most of myself to myself.