friendship parameters/boundaries

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in response to: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt176186.html

how do you know where a professional relationship ends, and personal one starts...?

for example, theres a 'community' pub i go to where i would say i know 95% of the people that regularly go there, as every other other know me and each other... most people i have on my facebook, including the bar staff

but im wondering, how do i know if they added/or accepted me because we actually are 'friends', or acquaintances per se, or because its in their job to be friendly?

You won't know for sure unless you ask them directly... and even then they may not tell you, especially if they are working when you ask. For clues, look at their FB page. If they have a TON of friends (more than 200) then it's likely they just add everyone and FB is not a good indicator of their level of friendship with you (or anyone). If they have only 50 friends or so, then perhaps you're on their "short list" of friends. In between 50 and 200 doesn't really tell you much though. How much do they interact with you outside of their working hours? Do they initiate FB chats or wall posts, or just respond to yours? If they initiate, it's more likely they have a higher interest in a more personal friendship outside of work. If they only just respond to what you do or say, then they may be just being polite. Good luck!

I'm not sure of this myself. I do think that when people are unsure of things they should be careful though.

I think that RaquiGirl has some good advice. I don't have many people on my facebook page, I think less than ten so I wouldn't be able to use it but still great advice where someone uses facebook more.

RaquiGirl, do you have any tips for face-to-face? I've just gone back to college and would love to have a clue about who was friends versus who was friendly.

They are just being polite, if they hang round with you or try to talk to you outside working hours then its a good sign that they want a real friendship with you and not a professional one.

@LostAlien about your signature, yeah do you really feel the need to have that sentence as your signature? Most women on here have boyfriends, it's really nothing "new" or "special".

I have that signature because I was getting a huge amount of pm's from males on this site asking directly or indirectly to date me when I was last really posting a lot on this site. I really don't like to waste my time or others, thus informing everyone seemed to be the best way to prevent time wasters. If you feel that my signature offends you, you're perfectly entitled not to look at it.

Meh fair enough, I apologise.