Body language and poise as an AS woman

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TheHaywire
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10 Oct 2011, 1:32 am

How do I understand body language? How do I have poise? I'm biologically a woman but I define myself as genderqueer. (both male and female)

These days I feel like I'm not a woman at all though. I just can't seem to pick up on the art of being subtle or graceful. I want poise. I want to understand how to be feminine.

Is there any hope?



KemoreJ
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10 Oct 2011, 3:14 am

I would ask, why do you want these things? Are they really what you want or are you trying to please someone/society? As a genderqueer you have the freedom (I imagine) to invent yourself in a way that many people can't. When you close your eyes at night, how do you perceive yourself? What is your spirit? Does "it" have a gender or set way of expressing itself? Or does it change with every day/mood/company, weather change?

I can't advise on feminine poise of course. But I share your confusion with regards to gender and how to express oneself in the body. I am starting to embrace my feminine side and enjoy things like dancing and doing the regular things I do with a little more grace.

I hope you find what you want Haywire.

:D


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syrella
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10 Oct 2011, 9:48 am

Hmm. Well, something like grace might be possible to train through activities like tai chi or balance exercises. As for actually feeling feminine though, I can't help you much there. I am probably gende rqueer too, though I did not know the name.

As for the whole body language part, you could try picking up a few books on the topic. also, having good posture might help... Keep a mirror around to make sure you aren't slouching.


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ToughDiamond
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10 Oct 2011, 10:42 am

Dunno. Poise is wasted on me. I feel better around people without poise, because they wont mind if I slouch and scratch a bit. I don't want anything to do with people who judge others badly for walking a bit funny or whatever. On the other hand, I guess it's important to try to look reasonably buoyant most of the time, holding your head up and all that, and try to avoid giving out vibes of "I'm no good"......It might be useful to make a film of yourself and see if you're doing anything wrong.

I can see how it could be a particular problem for an Aspie woman - the descriptions I've seen of the condition in women mention the difficulties of social pressure to be ladylike etc. I'm just relieved I'm a bloke. There's so much drivel out there telling women how they should fit in with the media stereotype.

I would think a better answer might be to approach it indirectly.....I knew of some Yoga people once who said that you can use Yoga to get all the visual things, but they warned against being too direct about that, and preferred focussing on general health and well-being, and not to get too hung up about "looking great" or whatever, but to remember that when you feel good, you'll be beautiful. It's not an attitude I see much these days.



Ellytoad
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10 Oct 2011, 11:19 am

I have sometimes wished that I were more feminine. I don't feel like I have a gender at all on the inside. I don't wear makeup or do my hair... I do prefer skirts and shirts that are unmistakeably from the woman's section, but that's pretty much it. No feminine poise either, that's for sure. And I feel like the rest of the world sees me the same way that I do.
It's an unpleasant feeling, this drifting along, not fully knowing who I am and alternately liking and disliking what is there.