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How late is 'too late' to get started with a relationship?

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sly279
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29 Apr 2015, 3:49 am

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
aspie who can't read eye or looks here. :( also sounds creepy to do that.


Everybody can see if somebody looks back. In fact, Aspies probably are superior at detecting that, and it is not part of NTs typical communication. It's only creepy if you overdo it.

sly279 wrote:
which is why I use dating sites where you learn about each other and girl shows interest. then I can message or not. since they clearly say they don't want a guy like me. so I'm confused why they liked me.


From what I've read, this way seems like a big failure to you, so why do you continue with a failure?


but are they looking at you cause they like you or cause they thinking why that creepy guy looking at me. looks away back omg hess still looking at me.

well my failure is due to not being a real man. ie lacking a goo paying job and car. so nothing will work.



rdos
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29 Apr 2015, 6:28 am

sly279 wrote:
but are they looking at you cause they like you or cause they thinking why that creepy guy looking at me. looks away back omg hess still looking at me.


That's easy to see. If you haven't learned how to differentiate positive from negative emotions, then you absolutely need to learn that anyway. A tip is that smiling is interest and notifying others means you are acting creepy, but smiling is not a requirement for interest.

sly279 wrote:
well my failure is due to not being a real man. ie lacking a goo paying job and car. so nothing will work.


You do realize that the girls you are flirting with like this have no idea if you have a job or a car, so they cannot reject you on those grounds?



sly279
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29 Apr 2015, 4:04 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
but are they looking at you cause they like you or cause they thinking why that creepy guy looking at me. looks away back omg hess still looking at me.


That's easy to see. If you haven't learned how to differentiate positive from negative emotions, then you absolutely need to learn that anyway. A tip is that smiling is interest and notifying others means you are acting creepy, but smiling is not a requirement for interest.

sly279 wrote:
well my failure is due to not being a real man. ie lacking a goo paying job and car. so nothing will work.


You do realize that the girls you are flirting with like this have no idea if you have a job or a car, so they cannot reject you on those grounds?


simple see a person looking at me they don't seem to be positive nor negative.

they ask. o.O I tell. since lying is a bad way to start a relationship.



WantToHaveALife
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29 Apr 2015, 4:32 pm

Lightbulb wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
It angers me, even fills me with boiling rage whenever people say it is never too late or better late than never, you have plenty of time, because people who generally say that, got to experience dating and relationships when they were in their teens and 20's, their youth.


You have three years of your 20s/youth left. You could be one of my hose people. Or Elliot Rodger.


I don't want to end up like that monster, ya it's just since I have 3 years left, I want to be assertive and take action about it and at the same time, avoid coming across as needy or desperate at the same time.



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30 Apr 2015, 9:34 am

http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/exp ... ge-income/

If you need a partner who can support you, you chances of finding a possible match are much greater if you consider older partners.

Young women marrying older guys for money is a classic compromise--I'm sure most of them would rather marry a younger guy who has money and looks, but the last guy I knew like that wasn't relationship material either, as he had severe mental health issues. 8O



WantToHaveALife
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30 Apr 2015, 1:31 pm

I know that Elliot Rodger was known and even reported to have thrown drinks at couples who he was very jealous of, although I would never do what he did like that, I know how to control myself, I generally feel like that, although at the same time I keep to myself and refrain from doing it, when I see young couples out there, like late teens and early 20's, because its a painful reminder of the years I missed out on and will never get back



Pinkpeony
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30 Apr 2015, 7:13 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
I know that Elliot Rodger was known and even reported to have thrown drinks at couples who he was very jealous of, although I would never do what he did like that, I know how to control myself, I generally feel like that, although at the same time I keep to myself and refrain from doing it, when I see young couples out there, like late teens and early 20's, because its a painful reminder of the years I missed out on and will never get back


He was younger than you, had more money than you (well, his parents did, from the sounds of it) and a super-fancy luxury car.

Eliott's habit of wandering around, being super-creepy and resentful and throwing pretty girls he didn't bother to talk to -- even when they said hi, introduced themselves and invited him to their party in the building they both lived in!!



WantToHaveALife
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30 Apr 2015, 7:31 pm

Pinkpeony wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
I know that Elliot Rodger was known and even reported to have thrown drinks at couples who he was very jealous of, although I would never do what he did like that, I know how to control myself, I generally feel like that, although at the same time I keep to myself and refrain from doing it, when I see young couples out there, like late teens and early 20's, because its a painful reminder of the years I missed out on and will never get back


He was younger than you, had more money than you (well, his parents did, from the sounds of it) and a super-fancy luxury car.

Eliott's habit of wandering around, being super-creepy and resentful and throwing pretty girls he didn't bother to talk to -- even when they said hi, introduced themselves and invited him to their party in the building they both lived in!!


I don't recall girls ever saying Hi or talking to him first



Cafeaulait
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01 May 2015, 4:41 am

Nope, I am me boyfriends first girlfriend. We met when he was nearly 28.



WantToHaveALife
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03 May 2015, 11:38 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
Nope, I am me boyfriends first girlfriend. We met when he was nearly 28.

That's nice to hear, ya I turned 27 in January of this year, hopefully some miracle happens for me with women or I'm able to make a miracle happen before I turn 30



darkphantomx1
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04 May 2015, 4:24 pm

Some people are just late bloomers dating wise. Some people clearly have dating skills early on in that they can attract people in high school and probably had several relationships in their teens. And most people who didn't date in their teens, usually begin dating in their early 20s. Having a first relationship at 22 is still relatively uncommon though but definitely not rare.

Some of us however won't start dating till we're well into our 20s or even our 30s. Maybe we were ugly, socially awkward, and had terrible social skills when we were younger and it just took some time for us to grow into our looks and maturity.



sly279
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04 May 2015, 5:47 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Some people are just late bloomers dating wise. Some people clearly have dating skills early on in that they can attract people in high school and probably had several relationships in their teens. And most people who didn't date in their teens, usually begin dating in their early 20s. Having a first relationship at 22 is still relatively uncommon though but definitely not rare.

Some of us however won't start dating till we're well into our 20s or even our 30s. Maybe we were ugly, socially awkward, and had terrible social skills when we were younger and it just took some time for us to grow into our looks and maturity.

what about those who never have a relationship.



WantToHaveALife
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04 May 2015, 8:32 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Some people are just late bloomers dating wise. Some people clearly have dating skills early on in that they can attract people in high school and probably had several relationships in their teens. And most people who didn't date in their teens, usually begin dating in their early 20s. Having a first relationship at 22 is still relatively uncommon though but definitely not rare.

Some of us however won't start dating till we're well into our 20s or even our 30s. Maybe we were ugly, socially awkward, and had terrible social skills when we were younger and it just took some time for us to grow into our looks and maturity.


and the cold, harsh unfair thing is that socially-awkward women will not struggle as much as socially-awkward men will, those that disagree with that are delusional.