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JHKyle
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13 Oct 2011, 4:00 pm

My biggest problem, and one that fuels a lot of my frustration, and one that makes me clam up when I think about it and clam up in social situations. No matter what I say, it always comes out sounding humorous. I'm not trying to be funny at all. Which is weird, because when I was younger, I was the type wherein if you asked me something, I'd sit there, cold, trying to think of the right thing to say, but at some point I broke myself of that habit. How? I really don't know. I just did.

Being clever and witty isn't something I intend; it just happens, and usually I get a laugh. But inside, I'm just utterly miserable, because I am trying to be serious, and if I'm cautious with my words, I come off as pretentious or, what's worse--ignorant.

This hurts in real-world situations, because, well, if people think you're a funny person, they are likely to not take you seriously.



lelia
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13 Oct 2011, 4:09 pm

If people think you are a funny person, they will like to be around you. I have a similar problem. I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but straightforward statements will often make people laugh. Perhaps because I surprise them.



JHKyle
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13 Oct 2011, 4:13 pm

I've never found that to be true at all, at least in my case.



jmnixon95
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13 Oct 2011, 4:49 pm

I have had this problem since I was a small child; things I consider normal to say are hilarious to others. I hated it, but then I realized that saying things that people find "funny" is a good trait to have socially. If you're like me, though, you are serious but say "funny" stuff; people usually don't take me any less seriously just because I'm "funny" to them. Humor is definitely a good trait.

Maybe you're being a bit too self-conscious about sounding "pretentious" or "ignorant."



echinopsis
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13 Oct 2011, 5:55 pm

always be honest and completely serious and people will compliment you on your great sense of humour.

get used to it. it sucks when people are getting you wrong, but probably most people are simply not capable of understanding you and you still come across as a very friendly person, which i think is good.



JHKyle
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13 Oct 2011, 6:17 pm

I guess I was thinking about it more in the professional setting. I had a job interview that i thought went great. i was chatty, not nervous at all, and thought i provided some good conversation, three of the four people seemed to interact well. one person just gave me the dead-eye stare. i didn't get the job. when asked why, "some of us didn't think you were very serious."

and all i could think of was, "i was just doing my best!" if i had been "me," i would have paused 15-30 seconds after being asked questions--even longer, which, truth be told, would have come across as way worse. it was hard enough to force myself to make eye contact! :)

and yet i WAS being me.

*sigh*



League_Girl
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14 Oct 2011, 3:05 am

People literally laugh at me all the time and for a while I just embraced it and thought I was a funny person and it was a good thing. Now I think it's because I said something wrong.

If I tell a joke and people laugh, I just assume they found it funny.

I say I have a natural sense of humor.



izzeme
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14 Oct 2011, 5:46 am

i dont mind others laughing at me anymore, i got used to the fact that my comments are either funny, weird or out-of-place.



jackbus01
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15 Oct 2011, 8:47 am

If I say something and get unexpected laughter in response, I usually follow up by saying:

"okay, what's so funny I missed the joke"

then they either tell me what they were laughing about or they shut up completely--either way is good.



MrEGuy
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16 Oct 2011, 12:46 am

JHKyle wrote:
inside, I'm just utterly miserable


Is this not the essence of a comedy? Aren't all comedians broken people? Tears of a clown and all that?



dancing_penguin
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16 Oct 2011, 1:26 am

MrEGuy wrote:
JHKyle wrote:
inside, I'm just utterly miserable


Is this not the essence of a comedy? Aren't all comedians broken people? Tears of a clown and all that?


Not to be trite, but this reminds me of an old song I read the lyrics of once:
"Life is a play and we all play a part
The Lover, the Dreamer, the Clown
The Dreamer and Lover are always in tears
The Clown spreads sunshine around
The life with a smile is the life worthwhile
The Clown till the curtain comes down

Even though you're only make believing
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Even though something inside is grieving
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Don't let your heart grow too mellow
Just be a real Punchinello, fellow

You're supposed to brighten up a place
And laugh, Clown, laugh!
Paint a lot of smiles around your face
And laugh, Clown, don't frown
Dressed in your best coloured humour
Be a pallietto and laugh, Clown, laugh!"


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ArthurDent
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29 Nov 2011, 11:23 am

JHKyle wrote:
My biggest problem, and one that fuels a lot of my frustration, and one that makes me clam up when I think about it and clam up in social situations. No matter what I say, it always comes out sounding humorous. I'm not trying to be funny at all. Which is weird, because when I was younger, I was the type wherein if you asked me something, I'd sit there, cold, trying to think of the right thing to say, but at some point I broke myself of that habit. How? I really don't know. I just did.

Being clever and witty isn't something I intend; it just happens, and usually I get a laugh. But inside, I'm just utterly miserable, because I am trying to be serious, and if I'm cautious with my words, I come off as pretentious or, what's worse--ignorant.

This hurts in real-world situations, because, well, if people think you're a funny person, they are likely to not take you seriously.


I had a friend who thought that things I said in seriousness were funny and he thought I should like that that's one more reason I'm glad I terminated that friendship that and i found out about his problems with me from his cousin who was also a friend but that's another story



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29 Nov 2011, 3:42 pm

Yeah people think I am being funny when I'm not trying to be at all. It totally baffles me. But I've learned it is a good way to get away with saying things that might otherwise rile people up. They think I am just kidding, and I still get to say what is on my mind.

People especially laugh at me when I'm angry. They don't take me seriously when I say I've had enough of something. I have to really exaggerate my anger to be taken seriously.



Raza
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30 Nov 2011, 8:44 am

It is true. I lol'd at your thread title from the forum index. Sorry; it seems you have a knack for it =P

Being funny isn't a bad thing, though. I guess if you don't like humor it is difficult to relate to, but laughter is a mostly pleasant thing, and it really is possible to have the meaning of your words absorbed while their presentation acts as a joke. In fact, that's one of the best approaches to speaking your mind without being found boring or confrontative there is, and many people struggle to do it on purpose.

The difference between being laughed at and being laughed with lies mostly with whether you let it bother you, or ride with it. The actual exchange is of secondary concern at best.



ArthurDent
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07 Dec 2011, 6:58 am

Just yesterday I was talking to my friend and at one point I said something and was serious and she responded with "you're funny" and this time it didn't bother me, well she has a knack for saying things in a way that makes me think "well that's alright then" I felt the same way even when I only thought of her as the boss lady, everyone would be better off with someone like my friend in their lives also she provides me with much need conversion practice