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kamiyu910
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15 Jan 2013, 12:02 am

I know this is over a year old, but it's very relevant to me, as they diagnosed me as having psychotic obsessive/intrusive thoughts with my OCD. I can't stand the thought of actually hurting someone, consciously, but the thoughts have always been there, for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll lose it some day, but I've forced myself to gain a lot of control and restraint.
The thoughts will happen no matter my mood. I'll look at someone and a fleeting thought on how they'll die pops through my mind, or me killing them or beating them up, etc. Such as seeing someone driving without a seatbelt, I envision all the different ways they could die. Most of the time it's just a matter of fact, no feeling at all. I'm not sure I've ever had a good dream, someone always dies. Sometimes even myself. I've tried watching just happy things, but I always find the depressing side of things, like even in Laurel and Hardy. I used to fight it, but have since accepted that it's just another part of me, and it has helped. I used to live in that world Dark_Lord_2008 wrote about: "The mind of an Aspie is a cold dark world." But I've found warmth and some light.
However, I don't think I could ever do anything though unless pushed to the edge, or if my family was threatened. Things that would get anyone to fight back.


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Question14
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15 Jan 2013, 3:11 am

kamiyu910 wrote:
I know this is over a year old, but it's very relevant to me, as they diagnosed me as having psychotic obsessive/intrusive thoughts with my OCD. I can't stand the thought of actually hurting someone, consciously, but the thoughts have always been there, for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll lose it some day, but I've forced myself to gain a lot of control and restraint.


Same here. Allways had dark thoughts on anyone who insulted or attacked me for their own pleasure.
That would explain my extensive knowlage and creativity for touture.


But really i am a pacifist, i hate wars, killing etc.
I would never be able to kill (which is good).

Stupid strange conflicting thoughts :x


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Murderface
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15 Jan 2013, 3:40 am

swbluto wrote:
When you're holding a pencil and are looking at someone talking to you, do you ever have the thought of suddenly stabbing them in the brain even though it doesn't make sense at all because you like the person and you'd never hurt anyone?

Is there a disorder for these kind of unwanted homicidal thoughts?

Like OCD or something?

Yes I do it makes no sense. I don't want to do these things and then I think why? it makes no sense. I have feelings to do this to my wife , children, brother, mother, father and it makes no sense. WHY? I don't know maybe I'm just a freak. I love these people gotten a felony for my brother. Guess I a am just a freak.


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whirlingmind
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15 Jan 2013, 6:45 am

swbluto wrote:
When you're holding a pencil and are looking at someone talking to you, do you ever have the thought of suddenly stabbing them in the brain even though it doesn't make sense at all because you like the person and you'd never hurt anyone?

Is there a disorder for these kind of unwanted homicidal thoughts?

Like OCD or something?


Oh dear, this is not the sort of post that helps to allay the fears that people currently have about gunmen with possible ASDs.


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Raziel
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15 Jan 2013, 7:18 am

Under huge stress, yes.
But normally: "no".

In the last time a bit more often than usually.


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chlov
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15 Jan 2013, 8:34 am

I frequently have homicidal thoughts, and people know that.



Logicalmom
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15 Jan 2013, 10:05 am

Well, in one of my philosophy classes we were told that people get these thoughts - a whole lot of people, very nice people. Most people don't act on them, and I suspect that most people can hardly admit it to themselves. This is the human mind and all sorts of things lurk there, like it or not - some very uncomfortable things that we are trained to feel uncomfortable about - even guilty, afraid. I will venture a hypothesis: maybe it is the stereotyped AS trait of honesty and just "telling it like it is" that allows for a discussion thread such as this. We have a higher "reality tolerance." Matter of fact. So, maybe we are just more likely to analyze and have an honest, objective discussion.


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Luska
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15 Jan 2013, 12:55 pm

I am not sure what counts as a homicidal thought.

I have experienced many times when I have felt a sudden unexplained intense feeling to destroy something. Very Intense. My body starts shaking, my muscles are tense, eyes are very focused. My fists are shaking uncontrollably.

Is it Bipolar Disorder?



chlov
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15 Jan 2013, 1:41 pm

Luska wrote:
I am not sure what counts as a homicidal thought.

I have experienced many times when I have felt a sudden unexplained intense feeling to destroy something. Very Intense. My body starts shaking, my muscles are tense, eyes are very focused. My fists are shaking uncontrollably.

Is it Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder is an uncontrollable swing from very severe depression (during which you can even plan your own suicide) to mania, during which you may feel extremely happy, you have a very high, even too high, self-esteem, and you can get extremely involved in things that can be very risky for you even for those around you at times. At least, this is what I could know (I have a cousin who is bipolar).
However, I experience what you said too, but I don't really think I have bipolar disorder.



hyperlexian
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15 Jan 2013, 7:03 pm

OP was banned a long time ago, no sense in continuing the conversation at this point


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