Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Did I make a social mistake here? What was it?

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

scmnz
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
Location: New mexico, USA

14 Oct 2011, 10:57 pm

was I in error, was she right to be upset? I don't think I was, but I'm still worried.

I'm one of the thousands of Emilys out there, it's such a common name. Someone in the school hallways called out "hey! Emily!" And I turned around. It wasn't someone I knew, so I froze, wondering what was going on and what I was supposed to do. The yeller basically snarled at me when she saw me looking "i wasn't talking to YOU". You was said in a nasty tone, suggesting that something was wrong and gross with me. Then she said in one of those wishers which are loud and meant to be heard to her friend "god she's so annoying, I kind of feel sorry for her but still!"

Could I have upset her??? Did I do something wrong? To me her reaction seemed completely out of praportion, but I can't be sure...



Angel_ryan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada

14 Oct 2011, 11:35 pm

You didn't do anything wrong. That girl is making fun of you because you are an easy target. She's trying to look important by belittling you in front of her friends. NT girls your age do that because they have low self esteem. In the future just ignore her and try to avoid her if she bothers you again. Don't get upset if she picks on you and she'll stop but I think it was just a one time event.



bergie
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 290
Location: Phoenix, AZ

14 Oct 2011, 11:47 pm

You did nothing wrong. How were you supposed to know she was calling to a different Emily? Her meanness towards you was unwarranted and not your fault.



MrEGuy
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 231

14 Oct 2011, 11:50 pm

Time to break out a razor and cut that b***h. It's the only way a NT can learn.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

14 Oct 2011, 11:54 pm

No, you did nothing wrong. Case in point, the person is just a complete b*tch.



ComplexRobot
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 48

15 Oct 2011, 12:24 am

It seems like a pretty typical thing for someone to do in order to be mean to someone else.
One thing NT's have going for them is they'd know the person was just being rude, so they'd think nothing of it and just forget about it the next moment.
It's better to do that, because then you don't let it build your stress or bother you.



dontslowmedown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 509
Location: uk

15 Oct 2011, 1:58 am

Respond with

" f**k you you fat b***h", it will make you feel better. :) . Don't take any s**t.

Ryan said it right above, by not responding you're leaving yourself open, you make yourself an easy target. You need to have something ready to go with right off, don't back down. You just need a small range of insults ready for any situation, you don't need to have make it up on the spot when there are plenty of non specific insults you can learn out there that would fit a lot of situations.

Ha well, not sure how good this advice is.



seoulgamer
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: Republic of Ireland

15 Oct 2011, 2:11 am

dontslowmedown wrote:
Respond with

" f**k you you fat b***h", it will make you feel better. :) . Don't take any sh**.

Ryan said it right above, by not responding you're leaving yourself open, you make yourself an easy target. You need to have something ready to go with right off, don't back down. You just need a small range of insults ready for any situation, you don't need to have make it up on the spot when there are plenty of non specific insults you can learn out there that would fit a lot of situations.

Ha well, not sure how good this advice is.


It's not a good idea. Even if you do shoot them down with a great insult, they'll resent you for it and you'll have made a new enemy. Ignore the person's rudeness, and just walk away from them.

If your name is called and you don't know if they mean you or someone else, throw a quick look over your shoulder to see if it's someone you recognise. If not, move on quickly so that you won't appear foolish.


_________________
Let's find that exit they call paradise...


dontslowmedown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 509
Location: uk

15 Oct 2011, 2:13 am

seoulgamer wrote:
It's not a good idea. Even if you do shoot them down with a great insult, they'll resent you for it and you'll have made a new enemy. Ignore the person's rudeness, and just walk away from them.

If your name is called and you don't know if they mean you or someone else, throw a quick look over your shoulder to see if it's someone you recognise. If not, move on quickly so that you won't appear foolish.



I know what you're saying but half of the problem socially with aspies is probably due to not sticking up for themselves and them not knowing how to because like all of us we struggle doing things for the first time. Learning that one important lesson helped me tons , i was never one of them(nt) but i think i had a hell of a lot better time at school than lots of aspies and thats because i learned some of their rules. Sticking up for myself was important. God damn i wish i knew i had autism at school though, i'd have loved to have stuck up for some passive aspie.



DeanAdamFry
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 266

15 Oct 2011, 3:10 am

dontslowsmedown, as much as I agree with you, I have to kinda disagree.

The reason being is because she isn't you, she might not have that "f**k you" attitude that she will have to keep up if she does take your advice but if she does have that then I will say go for it but judging from her post, I wouldn't say its the case.

My advice to the OP is stand up for yourself when she comes at you but any other time just ignore her, the best thing to do is laugh in her face because NO ONE knows what to respond with when they are laughed at, definitely at that b*****s age, you would completely knock her off balance.



scmnz
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
Location: New mexico, USA

15 Oct 2011, 9:48 am

DeanAdamFry wrote:
dontslowsmedown, as much as I agree with you, I have to kinda disagree.

The reason being is because she isn't you, she might not have that "f**k you" attitude that she will have to keep up if she does take your advice but if she does have that then I will say go for it but judging from her post, I wouldn't say its the case.

My advice to the OP is stand up for yourself when she comes at you but any other time just ignore her, the best thing to do is laugh in her face because NO ONE knows what to respond with when they are laughed at, definitely at that b*****s age, you would completely knock her off balance.


I don't think I could cuss someone out in anycase, I've learned that cussing is wrong, "against the rules" I guess is a way to put it, so I won't be able to, it's hard to explain... So I think ignoring her is all I can do.



dontslowmedown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 509
Location: uk

15 Oct 2011, 11:09 am

scmnz wrote:
DeanAdamFry wrote:
dontslowsmedown, as much as I agree with you, I have to kinda disagree.

The reason being is because she isn't you, she might not have that "f**k you" attitude that she will have to keep up if she does take your advice but if she does have that then I will say go for it but judging from her post, I wouldn't say its the case.

My advice to the OP is stand up for yourself when she comes at you but any other time just ignore her, the best thing to do is laugh in her face because NO ONE knows what to respond with when they are laughed at, definitely at that b*****s age, you would completely knock her off balance.


I don't think I could cuss someone out in anycase, I've learned that cussing is wrong, "against the rules" I guess is a way to put it, so I won't be able to, it's hard to explain... So I think ignoring her is all I can do.



One day you'll realise that only rules that make sense should be followed. I see your point though.



dontslowmedown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 509
Location: uk

15 Oct 2011, 11:49 am

DeanAdamFry wrote:
not have that "f**k you" attitude that


Ha, that reminded me of something my brother told me recently. He'd had trouble with someone and i asked him why he hadnt just told them to f**k off and then I said that i'd have done that if i was him. My brothers reply, he laughed and said " i know what you'd say". I think ive gained a reputation for blunt honesty in my family. :).