Social burnout - shrinkforced

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I've really got to come up with better thread titles lol.

I was reading some older threads about burnout and a lot of people were saying they felt much worse after their therapists had pushed them to socialize more. I've experienced the same. I can socialize for a while - maybe half an hour - but after that I'm totally drained. I point my head to the floor and can't partake in conversation even if the topic is an interest of mine. No matter how much I try to get over it, it never gets better or easier. In fact it seems to get worse. So is this common with aspies, that their therapists guiding seems to do more harm than good?

It's the same with me and procrastination. Some of my past psychs have tried to "train" me out of it. But to me the procrastinating is a time for me to gather my thoughts and select the correct next option, rather than jumping in feet first and failing, or maybe losing an arm or a leg due to lack of thought and hindsight. Risk taking is not my hobby, lol.

As an adult, if i want therapy i make an MOU (memorandum of understanding) beforehand. Since i pay for it, it's my very right to define the problems i want to work on. I'd never accept and probably freak out if a shrink would try to force their opinion on me. Also the decision on which kind of therapy i want is left to me and nobody else.

Is this some kind of legally binding contract btw you and the therapist? Because I want one.

I agree though. As an adult I'm paying someone to help me through certain issues. They are working for me. But that doesn't get you very far here. If you question their methods you are deemed "difficult", "resistant to change", "uncooperative" and "not trying hard enough to climb out of the hole.". They have the authority. You have nothing but money. Money just makes them listen to your s**t once a month. It doesn't give you rights. Sorry but that's what I've experienced. And I'm about to go through it all again tomorrow. I don't think I'll bother turning up. I'd rather be miserable and broke, rather than miserable and f****d up.

Actually, as I have learned the hard way, it is a very good idea to outline one's goals in the initial session of therapy.

and this reminds me of the most demeaning phrase that psychiatrists like to use:
"non-compliant patient"

The MOU, though i doubt it's enforceable, has turned out to be very useful but i also had to learn it the hard way after therapists tried to force things on me i didn't want at all. However, if i pay for a therapy, i want to go out after each appointment with at least a bit of improvement.

Hence it makes sense to define your goals and an approximate time frame. An experienced therapist will also agree to a brief summary at the end of each session.

Some shrinks act like infallible beings who practice a secret science, but actually you are the only person who knows your needs for improvement.

If you pay for them, you have the authority and right to decide. A responsible therapist will also agree to one or two trial sessions to figure whether you get along with each other. If you decide it's not for you, all you've lost is one or two fees, so the loss keeps within limits.

Have you suggested to your therapist that they are pushing you too hard?

Perhaps you may need to set your own pace when it comes to socialization. Do what you feel comfortable with at first (half an hour) and then gradually add 15 minutes or any amount of time you wish. Please try not to push yourself too hard.

Therapists can definitely do more harm than good if they apply the common techniques to you. What might be helpful is collecting their suggestions, all designed to help NTs, and twist'n'turn them to match the way your brain works.

My therapist used to tell me to make lists for getting things done, and that never worked for me, but I did need a method for getting things done, so I came up with a visual block structure in my head instead of a to-do list on paper. A therapist can help you identify the specific areas to work on and the most popular ways to work on those, then you will probably have to come up with the effective techniques yourself, because the therapist doesn't really understand how your mind works.

Yes she does! She told me last time I saw her. She was getting aggravated because "we're just going round in circles and not getting anywhere" as she put it. Then she asked what I was thinking. When I said I didn't know she said: "That's rubbish. Everyone thinks. Everyone's brain works the same way." Obviously I never went back after that. Still searching for an aspie-friendly shrink.

I too am proned to social burnout. I need alot of time to myself, talking to much too many different people really tires me out, and I need alot of sleep after. I'm prone to stress when it comes to work as well, so I tend to take alot of naps. One time I cried when I was young because to many kids were talking to me. I wish I wasn't prone too this, my life would be much easier if I didn't get stressed out so easily.

"Everyone's brain works the same way."

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

And that "What are you thinking?" question is one I can never answer. I honestly can't explain to someone what I am thinking about verbally.