Aspie Groups/Social Skill

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I was wondering if you guys have experience with being in aspie group, social skill groups, or not just groups revolved around bringing aspies together. See I just recently started attending a group and it just seems very disjointed. Its a young adult group and most of the aspies dont really say much. They give off the impression that there just there cause there parents are make them. The group has been going for some time, and my first impression was that there was not established friendships amongst the people. The aspies just keep to themselves, dont talk much beyond being called on. Theres little conversation, just the facilitator trying to get people to talk.

Im thinking this is the way for 2 reasons.
1) We're all aspies, and aspies often just dont socialize in general. We just perfer to keep to ourselves
2) Cultural reasons, the group consists of mostly asian guys and the people around here(in general) are more quieter and introverted compared to other places Ive been where you find the more louder, outgoing people.

What are your experiances in aspie groups?

I practically endured all kind of groups since i would never have voluntarily participated in such activities. And i really wonder if those guys you mention attend the group because they feel comfortable there or if they just think it could be useful to help them improving their social skills. The latter means, it's probably perceived as unpleasant duty.

Any group where the participants aren't there willingly or aren't already friends/acquaintances isn't going to be a very lively one. It sounds more like aspie day care, where parents drop them off and say "Make him better by the time I get back."

ASAN group here: The leader does the talking and we all do turn taking and it's timed. Sometimes there is irony in the group like one time when I was there, we all got into groups to work on a project and everyone seemed to do good but me. I have always been horrible at this stuff and this is something we have difficulty with. During break time, people will socially interact with each other like NTs. We also have name tags we put in front of us and have joke cards to hold up if we joke.

Roger Meyer's group: Same as the ASAN group except there is only one leader and it's Roger and he does all the talking and we all do turn taking and it's timed. We do break time and we have snacks there and he takes donations so he can pay rent for the space he uses at the church and everyone also socially interacts like NTs. Rarely will he invite someone to come to the group to do a speech and rarely do we have movie time that is about autism. We have watched Adam there and Mozart and the Whale and Temple Grandin.

Vancouver Asperger's group: more social and everyone meets at IHOP or Applebees and we all sit at the table and talk. We have a new leader now because the other one quit because his wife was having health problems so another person took over and he sometimes holds weekend events like parties. He is going to be doing a Halloween one this year. Also this group isn't just for aspies, it's for people with other conditions too like learning disabilities, AD/HD, NVLD, and members can bring their friends or family with so it's not restricted to people on the spectrum only.

See I dont know if its there motive for coming or its there parents making them. This is a young adult group, so most(if not all) still live with there rents. Yeah thats an interesting pt, they probably perceive it as unpleasant yet needed. But Im telling them, they "need" to change the time from 8am in the morning. That might help if everyone wasnt so tired at the time. For me as an aspie, my social part of my brain isnt fully turned on yet when Im very tired.



LOL, i like the way you put it, 'aspie day care'. Hilarious. Thats kinda what it is, we sit around a group and the group leader "makes" them talk. You got some guys playing with there phones, thinking"when is this gonna be over"

League_Girl you seem to have participated in much more active, successful groups. See Ive read on this board about people who have gone to aspie groups, made friends and actually gotten support from them. I used to attend a young adult group in california 3 yrs ago and the people were much more vocal and participating

See Im attributing this to
1) Time of the day, 8am
2) Cultural reasons, (sigh...I hate hawaii) people tend to be quieter here and when u take a bunch of local aspies who are likely all introverted, umm much more of a challenge. See at least in other places you got much more vocal aspies, even if there going off in tangents about their obscure special interests

Yeah, Id like to hear more stories about social groups in other places.

I've attended two AS groups. Both are different from the socially-focused groups that everyone else here is describing in that they weren't as socially structured, and the purpose of these groups were not to better socialization skills. Both had a wide range of personalities, and conversation was very AS-like (so yes, very awkward and some members were shy)...but both groups were supportive in that they allowed quirks and oddities to exist rather than force social skills onto the members.

Ai_Ling, for your group, I think that the people there aren't used to that much social interaction to begin with, and they might not be comfortable being in a socially based environment. They also may not like the idea of feeling different (especially at this age) and feel that being in this group highlights their differences. They may not have the confidence to speak up because they are afraid of making a mistake or being made fun of.

I am a trained psychologist with Asperger's syndrome, and you post makes me feel ashamed to be a psychologist.

Traditional group therapy, where everyone sits in a circle and takes turns sharing under a therapists guidance, is one of the worst formats for Auspies. Group interactions is one of the hardest settings for those of the Autism spectrum. Trying to use group dynamics to help Auspies is just plain oxymoronic. Giving you concrete ideas and feedback on areas which Auspies find difficult would be much more helpful. Putting a group of Auspies together in a nonthreatening environment and letting them socialize at their own pace is much more helpful (e.g. meeting at IHOP.)

Unfortunately, group therapy is the cheapest form of therapy, and is therefore popular with the bean counters and administrators who can now claim and be paid for "doing something," and they seldom bother to worry about things like usefulness or effectiveness. The tendency of certain Asian cultures to want everyone to fit into the same mold does not help this.

Actually the ASAN group and Roger Meyers are not therapy groups.

I joined a social anxiety group once. Worked for me.