Positive experiences of counselling?

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My latest counselor has been a positive experience and a past person I saw who I'd not consider a counselor was also a positive experience. I've had incredibly negative experiences, but I've also had positive ones.

I've found if the person tries to take my sensory sensitivities into account immediately, then they're much more likely to be a good one. The one I'm seeing now makes sure to see me in the room with least sound, and fewest lights, and will close the window when I'm there if it had been open.

Personally, the difference for me was whether or not the person knew about ASDs at all. The counselor I'm seeing now is trying to help me on my meltdowns, which have gotten out of control in the past few years for the reasons I'm seeking counseling. If she sees me tensing up over something she drops it before it gets too far (she will make me discuss things that bother me, but she won't force me to do anything or let me feel forced). She points out my stims to me and gives me recommendations on ways that I might help myself calm down based on these stims. (I found out from her that I clench my wrists when I'm discussing something that upsets me, and she recommended I learn joint compressions because of this).


The trick, is that she understands my ASD at least as much as someone without one can, tries to learn more about it, and doesn't judge me on that. She uses that knowledge, but doesn't leave out my problems that aren't associated with my Asperger's.

In my experience its hard to find a good counselor, but its possible and a good one can really help. In the past few months of seeing her my boyfriend has seen a difference in my meltdowns ( they still occur as frequently, but there's less depression in them and more just being overwhelmed).

In order for me to find a good counselor I could see I needed to get diagnosed, but it definitely has been worth the time I've put into this counselor.

I'm getting help from the person I consider my best friend. In a sense he is my counselor. I've received lots of help from him during the years of our friendship. I think it's important to mention that I meet him regularly, so I guess I would need regular help from a counselor the same way if I hadn't had him. There's some reciprocity between us but mostly I'm the one who receives more useful advice.

I guess if I had to rely on counseling I'd have to take a more professional approach myself, i.e. focusing only on one problem at a time, evaluating the quality of help I receive, always trying to be in sync. Finding the right person for counseling seems to be just as difficult as finding a good job.