Holidays and Gift Giving for Special Needs
I just blogged on this and am feeling kind of angry. Big business loves warm fuzzies and who wouldn't pass on a chance to create a new market for toys? So, while increasing their visibility, I post this brochure .
I avoided a lot of toys because my son never spent too much time on any one particular toy. And why buy something he isn't going to play with? We obtained toys from baby showers, relatives, etc. So, he had toys. But it wasn't something my husband and I fretted over. My mom has a fit every year, she is always asking for ideas. Well, get to know my son or just listen to my descriptions of him. She won't and one time, even sent me a check because she refused to buy anything I suggested (I was very modest in price).
Do you buy traditional toys, specific learning tools or do you aim for your child's obsessions/focus?
Each child (nt or not) will have their own preferences - like my son did not like electronic toys that made noise and especially ones that talked which educational "learning" toys tend to do. This was probably due to his sensory issues and language difficulties, but not every kid on the spectrum would have the same likes or dislikes. I also think it is great to go along with things they like because isn't that what toys to play with are supposed to be about. One thing I think you have to be careful about for any kid who gets a "label" is to not make all toys and playtime geared towards some sort of therapy or learning. If they love Thomas the Tank engine than why not give that as a gift.
My mom has been great with this stuff though - my son is obsessed with coins (pretty useful obsession) - so she literally gave him a huge sack of coins to go through for Christmas. She made sure some special ones were in there (like wheaties and new quarters) and he loved it. I think we need to look at giving presents the same way we would like to receive them. I tend to want very practical gifts which is not typical - but I REALLY have appreciated getting things like a new vacuum cleaner and dishes. It IS what I really wanted because perfume and jewelry may be traditional but not what I wanted.
I just lost my entire post, I pressed some button. . . .
I think Thomas the Tank Engine is therapy. My son obsessed over it and it (the franchise) provided every level of involvement. We didn't buy the train set but accessories. Like the train whistle and some other toy. But we bought the books (some with cassettes) and have rented the shows. They aren't out of control items that teach weird concepts.
It's pretty obvious what young children want. They exhibit their likes and dislikes quite honestly.
(what I posted and lost before)
I think some/a lot of people view gift-giving as a time to instill what they believe you should have, not necessarily what you want. I remember getting things that I didn't really like but I supposed to like them. I started doing the same thing, giving books within a person's interest. But I didn't take into account that those people didn't read.
Here's a parody of a Christmas Song that's laced with my request.
I Want a Double Decker Bus for Christmas
I want a Double Decker Bus for Christmas
Only a double Decker Bus will do
With an engine in the front and a pole at the back
I really love Double Decker Buses
And Double Decker Buses love me, too!
The type of Bus that I like was a very practical toy, until December 9th last year.
A lot of kids have more toys than they know what to do with. Depending on the child, how about gift certificates for some place they like to go, like a museum or science center, kits to make things, books, art supplies, etc.
Something my granddaughter never has tired of was a little sandbox full of sand, and some bags of seashells. Unless there's a place to put it, that can be a tough one though. Sandboxes are great to play with things like plastic dinosaurs in.
Learning is for learning and toys are for play. I think it's a good idea to make sure your child has appropriate toys (you wouldn't buy a chapter book for a blind child unless it was in Braille or on tape, for example), but what is wrong with letting a child just play?
I did browse a couple of pages in the brochure link and I remember when my son had one of those phonics buses or something like it. He dumped the blocks and zoomed the bus around for awhile. He used it as a toy. Some of the other things are just toys so I don't know why they decided to make it a "special" catalog. Are parents that unsure of themselves that they need a special guide?
One year Grandma gave him the LeapPad thing to help him learn to read. I think he was about five or so. He already knew how to read and the thing sits in a drawer. This year Grandma bought him what he wanted and he loves it. My dad gave him his new favorite gift: Money!
Our DS was always tough at the holidays because he's a "one gift at a timer", meaning he opens a box (slowly), inspects every inch of the box and contents, and then plays with or uses that item to its fullest extent before moving on to item number 2. His record is New Years Eve to be still having a gift left to open.
As he is getting older, "toys" are much less on his agenda. He still likes video games, but would also be happy with a favorite CD (why he can stand to listen to his games and CD's but Enya makes him run screaming in agony is beyond me). He likes things related to interests he has - such as CSI/forensics types games/kits. He also loves books of random trivia.
My mother has finally learned, and just sends him $50 to spend as he sees fit. She's learned he's pretty responsible and won't fill his room with candy or dollar store junk.
However, she hasn't as much faith in me. To this day she insists on sending me clothes. Clothes that are either two sizes two big or two sizes too small, depending on which way she thinks I'm lying to her that year. (We've not layed eyes on each other since 1998). She leaves the tags on, but she lives 2000 miles away and we don't have those stores here.
Other than that, we have no family, and my husband has learned to "peek" in my "journal" to find out what I'd like which he still hasn't noticed yet I only write in once a year!! ! ROFL.
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hyper_alien
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