Could this be a sign this girl likes me?

Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

25 Oct 2011, 12:32 am

This girl who sits next to me in my class has been trying to talk to me for the past few weeks I think. A few weeks ago the teacher accidentally created that really obnoxious scratch noise on the board and she looked over at me and said wow that sound is obnoxious, but when she said it she sounded a little shy and awkward. It is hard to explain. It was like she was trying to say it to me to possibly start a conversation, but her voice came out weak. She could just be really shy to talk to me I don't know. The following class I asked a teacher a question and she actually knew the answer so she turned to me and told me the answer and didn't do it in a way try to make me feel stupid or anything like that. Then just today she turned to me asking what we went over in class last class because she was absent. So then I explained to her that we all formed groups for our final project and instead of assertively asking if she wanted to be in my group, I said something like: "Well I am in a group with a girl sitting over there and the other girl in my group is not here today, but you can join us if you would like." I said it a little quietly and I think she thought I wasn't interested in talking to her because I heard that if you turn your head away they assume this...I don't know. I actually turned my head to the other side of the room and pointed in the area that one of my partners was sitting in. Then some guy sitting behind her...whom she never looks at or talks to asked kind of nervously if she wanted to be in his group and she just said yes? I don't get it. Another strange thing happened. Aside from constantly looking at her nails, body and then at me and down, she actually said this right after asking me what she missed that class: "It is hot in here." Then she took off her sweatshirt. If it was hot she didn't have to say anything...she could have just taken it off. The fact that she mentioned it only after she got my attention by talking to me is what makes me wonder. I want to know from the women on here if this is a sign that a girl likes me or wants to get to know me? Could she want me to check her body out? Have any of you women on here done things like this? If so, would it be because you like the guy and want him to check you out? I really hope she isn't just trying to be like oh check out my body...never going to get it kind of immature crap. I am not even interested in hooking up with her, but I find it fascinating learning about social behaviors of women. This is the girl I mentioned in an older post that mentioned she had a bf and that he is a cause of her stress. I just think that the more she tries to talk to me...the more I think she might like me? I would greatly appreciate help with this.



MetalAspie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 129

25 Oct 2011, 12:40 am

The worst thing you can do is over-think and over-analyze this. Because that will just ruin it...you should just talk to her dude. Obviously she at least thinks you're cool if she's starting conversations with you in class. Or maybe she thinks you're cute. So yeah, just talk to her and see where it takes you. Try to relate to her and the things she says. And be funny - make her laugh. That helps...alot.

So get a good conversation with her going in class, and then go out on a whim and ask her if she wants to hang out. Like...right after class. When class ends, ask her if she wants to get some coffee or go somewhere. If she's busy, exchange numbers or something. Just remember - timing is very important when it comes to this kind of thing. You can NOT hesitate. You gotta make your move, and let her know in subtle ways that you're interested or else you get put in the friend zone. Girls usually put guys in the friend zone because they assume the guy isn't interested, which in turn makes the girl lose interest in him. You gotta be readily available dude. Once you get her to hang out with you or get coffee with you, let me know how that goes... And I'll try to point you in the right direction again.



Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

25 Oct 2011, 1:07 am

Ok well I don't mean to come off as a jerk in any way, but I know that I am not just over thinking things. She is definitely trying to get my attention for a reason(not sure what that is yet) and I don't mind being put into the friend zone at all. I really need to hear from some women about this. They will hopefully be able to shed some light on this situation. I told myself I would start to talk to her next time she talked to me and sure enough she started talking to me again today. I am pretty sure she will probably talk to me again in the future. I am not against hooking up with her at all. She is attractive, but if nothing happens between us...which is most likely the reality that is totally fine. I am so used to beautiful women being in my life, talking to me a few times and then friend zoning me. This is not at all a new experience. I would just like to know for sure the signs that a girl likes a guy, so that things are put into a perspective that isn't a big ball of confusion. Any girls on here ever announce that its hot and take off a layer of clothing while talking with a guy???



spongy
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,180
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

25 Oct 2011, 2:49 am

It sounds like she could be interested in you.
Having said that there are quite a few reasons why a girl could be interested in you and only time will tell.

ie: I was sitting at a class the other day and this cute girl that I had never talked to approached me, introduced herself and made some small talk. This is a clear sign that she was interested in me, I just needed a little more time to figure out why exactly. Sure enough after five minutes of small talk she said "hey you go to x class with me" and I saw that she was looking for a lab partner so I told her I was already with someone else and the conversation died.

Yesterday we were at the lab and she started joking around with hand signs and all so my lab partner noticed I was replying to her and said that he didnt mind if she joined us and we asked a teacher if she could join us.

This morning I was sitting on a bench and when she passed by it she said hi and I replied to her.


She could be interested on getting to know me better but at the moment the fact that she needed a lab partner therefore she is probably being overly nice to me so that I become her lab partner makes her intentions hard to figure and Im just going to try to be a good lab partner/get to know her better and see where things go once this lab project ends.


_________________
Please take the time to answer this quick survey to help improve the community

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255139.html


Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

25 Oct 2011, 3:41 pm

Why aren't any women on here willing to help me out with this?



mv
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

25 Oct 2011, 4:20 pm

I'm a woman, and I don't know what to tell you. I would never do what she did, I'm mortified by drawing attention to myself (or making it seem as though I purposely want to draw attention to myself). It does sound like provocative, immature crap to me, but I'm 44 years old. A lot of things are immature crap to me.

Don't know what to tell you, there's really not enough detail or nuance to give an answer one way or another. Or to hazard a guess, even.

I'm guessing women here aren't answering because they feel like I do about this supposedly "female" behavior, a sort of "WTF?" The men are answering because all women are baffling to them, regardless (just kidding, boys!).



seoulgamer
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: Republic of Ireland

25 Oct 2011, 4:36 pm

MetalAspie wrote:
Girls usually put guys in the friend zone because they assume the guy isn't interested, which in turn makes the girl lose interest in him. You gotta be readily available dude.


Isn't there more to it than that? You can appear interested in a way that creeps her out too.


_________________
Let's find that exit they call paradise...


Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

25 Oct 2011, 5:37 pm

Yes mv perhaps most aspie girls don't act this immature and therefore can't understand the reasoning behind the behavior and can't comment. Hopefully there are some NT girls on here that can drop their 2 cents in this thread. Here is another post I came across on yahoo answers that relates to me more than anything I have ever read in relation to girls:

Why do girls ignore me like this?
Ok i have 2 friends who i admit i am better looking than. I have been told by many woman i am very good looking and even called beautiful before. I am not trying to sound big headed just giving the impression of others so you can judge. Thing is i have the worst luck with woman. There is girls who i have been told who are into me but when i go out they ignore me and flirt with my friends.

A guy was trying to introduce me to a girl he claimed was way into me but she ignored his speak and walked away like she heard nothing. Another girl the same night walks over to my other friend and is all over him hugging him with her back into me who i was told also liked me. Kisses him on the cheek and ignores me even when i said hello. I notice some girls giving me evil eyes like they are annoyed by my presence and would not go near me, then i turn my head and they are looking at me checking me out. I don't get it.

These 2 friends of mine get spoken all the time by girls without hesitation ,always around me and always ignoring me. Speaking of other guys and hugging guys right in front of me so i cannot even get out of the way, then they look at me and leave. Some girls do speak but it has me doubting myself . I am a very laid back, chilled out person. I am not a big mouth attention seeker and a nice person but feel people go against me.

So many guys then in the bars be giving me dirty looks also for no reason either. What does all this funny behavior all mean. I feel like people are almost afraid to talk to me. Please whats your opinion? (end of yahoo answers post)

I am totally willing to post actual photos of me so that you people here can see that I am in no way an ugly guy and shouldn't be ignored by women most of the time. Since my social skills with women suck, I know that even if this girl really liked me and even wanted me desperately...I would say something stupid and just be so awkward that she would wind up ignoring me just like every other girl who crosses paths with me. I noticed that when I remain apathetic to them, they seem to have a dormant interest but as soon as I let down the walls and reciprocate interest and attention...suddenly they are a million miles away.



Fullofstars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 545

25 Oct 2011, 5:42 pm

...edited on account of weird sloppy double posting.



Last edited by Fullofstars on 25 Oct 2011, 6:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fullofstars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 545

25 Oct 2011, 6:25 pm

Ok, the squeaky wheel gets the grease :roll:
I'm an "NT" (whatever that means) female, and here's my break-down:

Alienboy wrote:
This girl who sits next to me in my class has been trying to talk to me for the past few weeks I think. A few weeks ago the teacher accidentally created that really obnoxious scratch noise on the board and she looked over at me and said wow that sound is obnoxious, but when she said it she sounded a little shy and awkward. It is hard to explain. It was like she was trying to say it to me to possibly start a conversation, but her voice came out weak. She could just be really shy to talk to me I don't know.


is she shy in general? Observe her behavior with other kids (guys AND girls), and compare it to how she behaves towards you. If she is different with you than others, she probably likes you (don't compare how she behaves with friends; only other classmates with whom she is more or less as familiar as she is with you.)

Quote:
The following class I asked a teacher a question and she actually knew the answer so she turned to me and told me the answer and didn't do it in a way try to make me feel stupid or anything like that. Then just today she turned to me asking what we went over in class last class because she was absent.


Ok, so she tried to talk to you twice in one day, and I'm going to go waaaaay out on a limb and guess that you clammed up and didn't return the attention all that much. :P and she apparently took weeks to come back and try again. This is classic. I think she tried to get your attention with a blitz of interaction and it didn't work, so she retreated, regrouped, and decided to send the troops back in on the ground. So now she's changed her tactics. Now she's trying to present her interest as something practical:

Quote:
then I explained to her that we all formed groups for our final project and instead of assertively asking if she wanted to be in my group, I said something like: "Well I am in a group with a girl sitting over there and the other girl in my group is not here today, but you can join us if you would like." I said it a little quietly and I think she thought I wasn't interested in talking to her because I heard that if you turn your head away they assume this...I don't know. I actually turned my head to the other side of the room and pointed in the area that one of my partners was sitting in.
...and you blew her off. So she was embarrassed, and she went with the guy who made her feel welcome, because she felt that you were rejecting her. She probably thought that it was deliberate and mean spirited, too, since you turned away from her AND qualified your "yes, you can join us" with the explanation that it was only because another girl was absent.

Quote:

Then some guy sitting behind her...whom she never looks at or talks to asked kind of nervously if she wanted to be in his group and she just said yes? I don't get it.


She likes you. You hurt her feelings. She didn't want to seem desperate to be included in a group that wasn't enthusiastic to have her, so she went with the more enthusiastic party and probably felt like he'll all period.

Quote:
Another strange thing happened. Aside from constantly looking at her nails, body and then at me and down, she actually said this right after asking me what she missed that class: "It is hot in here." Then she took off her sweatshirt. If it was hot she didn't have to say anything...she could have just taken it off. The fact that she mentioned it only after she got my attention by talking to me is what makes me wonder. I want to know from the women on here if this is a sign that a girl likes me or wants to get to know me? Could she want me to check her body out? Have any of you women on here done things like this? If so, would it be because you like the guy and want him to check you out? I really hope she isn't just trying to be like oh check out my body...never going to get it kind of immature crap. I am not even interested in hooking up with her, but I find it fascinating learning about social behaviors of women. This is the girl I mentioned in an older post that mentioned she had a bf and that he is a cause of her stress. I just think that the more she tries to talk to me...the more I think she might like me? I would greatly appreciate help with this.


I don't know what to say about the sweatshirt thing. A lot of people make random, idle comments that mean absolutely nothing, especially about temperature (hence the cliche of 'talking about the weather'). Who knows, maybe she felt awkward taking her shirt off in front of you and thought she should clarify that she felt hot? I would ignore this one. But the fact that she looks at herself and then you? That us absolutely flirtation. If it weren't for this behavior I would have added the caveat that she might be trying to be kind to someone who she perceives to be different and vulnerable. The other behavior denotes interest, but not necessarily romantic interest. Add this flirtatious body language and yeah, I'm convinced.


I can't say what her interest is, exactly. Maybe it's mild curiosity, maybe it's a full on crush. But you should go out if your way at least once to engage with her, and see how she responds. Again, compare her response to how she responds to others. If she seems more pleased by a smile and a hello from YOU than from another classmate, then you know.



Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

25 Oct 2011, 9:32 pm

She likes you all right. She sending strong firt sinnals of liking you. She likes you And has huge crush on you Alot girls don't make strong signals like the consent striving at you or is it hot in here taking off jacket in fornt of you because it can creep people out as it seem you strongly like them. I whould never firt this way to someone I would be be afried I might scare them off.



hyperlexian
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,997
Location: with bucephalus

26 Oct 2011, 12:06 am

mv wrote:
I'm a woman, and I don't know what to tell you. I would never do what she did, I'm mortified by drawing attention to myself (or making it seem as though I purposely want to draw attention to myself). It does sound like provocative, immature crap to me, but I'm 44 years old. A lot of things are immature crap to me.

Don't know what to tell you, there's really not enough detail or nuance to give an answer one way or another. Or to hazard a guess, even.

I'm guessing women here aren't answering because they feel like I do about this supposedly "female" behavior, a sort of "WTF?" The men are answering because all women are baffling to them, regardless (just kidding, boys!).

exactly. i created and deleted a post already.

for me...if i warn someone i'm taking my sweater off or the like, it's because i am making a point that i am NOT wanting to seem too sexual. the rest is ambiguous, like it could be signals to want friendship only. sorry OP.

but i don't operate like some NT women might.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt237032.html


Diamorphine
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 97

26 Oct 2011, 9:58 am

Stop overthinking/overanalyzing things and just talk to her. Girls are not always clear cut on what they want and every girl is different on how she shows a guy she likes him. We can't tell you if she likes you because we don't know how she is or how she thinks. If you have a facebook or cell phone, ask for her FB/number. Just talk to her, man. She obviously must have some degree of interest in you if she's talking to you period.



Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

26 Oct 2011, 10:49 pm

Well I had class again today and the same girl sitting next to me asked me if she could borrow a pen or pencil from me and we looked right into each others eyes for a good while and I was very polite and nice to her. I said sure and dug one out for her and gave it to her, but here is the thing...right after I said yes to her borrowing a pen or pencil from me...she mentioned about it being hot in the classroom just like last time and then she was like it has been getting colder lately outside over the past few days and I actually responded this time unlike last time. I responded by saying something like yeah it has been getting colder and that it was really cold the other day and then when I gave her the pen she thanked me and after the quiz thanked me again when she gave it back. I know that asking to borrow my pen is not a sign of flirting at all in most cases because she just didn't bring one of her own, but the fact that she was once again starting a small conversation about the temperature and weather, etc. makes me wonder if she likes me? She also could have easily asked to borrow a pen or pencil from two other people sitting next to her as well, but she asked me. While the professor was giving his lecture, I noticed that she was alternating between taking notes on her laptop and browsing on facebook. I noticed she was looking at some guy's facebook profile and I am assuming that is her boyfriend's facebook. Since I was sitting right next to her and could see what she was looking at...could it be possible she is so immature that she was intentionally trying to get me to see that she was on a profile with some guy she knows? I know she could have just been looking at facebook out of boredom, but I was just wondering. I guess my question again is whether or not she is showing signs of being attracted to me or could she just be talking to me since I happen to be sitting next to her? I have been polite and nice to her, but I really don't want to go for a girl who supposedly has a boyfriend. If I find out that she doesn't or at least wants me....what would be an assertive way to ask her out? I don't mean like let's go get coffee because I don't like dating for months and months not knowing where I stand with a girl. I like things being very clear. If I know she really wants me...how could I successfully make a relationship a possibly? What could I say to her? Hey, do you want to go out with me? Hey, are you single? Hey would you be interested in being my girlfriend? I would prefer advice from both men and women on this. Have any guys on here said anything amazing enough to bypass all the dating and "get the girl" so to speak? If you really liked a guy and you wanted him as in more than dating him...what would you women like the man to ask or say to her in relation to letting her know you might want to try a relationship? I don't want to say something stupid and cheesy like you have a beautiful smile or you are cute, what are you doing this weekend, etc. I appreciate the help.



Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia

26 Oct 2011, 11:36 pm

she has a major crush on you. you should ask her if she wants to hang out or get some coffee. how hard is it to that. just becouse she taking to guy on facebook does not mean she dating him. she chould be talking to a friend.