Hey people,
I am Matt. I am here seeking help. I am 23, male, American, and married to a fantastic woman who understood/diagnosed my condition years before I was diagnosed. I didn't believe her then but, man has that changed. My moniker of Whyso was given to me during my brief stint in the military (USAF). It is an abbreviated form of "Why so serious?". I don't properly understand how this came to be. At a guess, probably because I never spoke to anyone of my own volition.
I was diagnosed 2 days ago. (previously treated for OCD/manic depressive.) I have spent the past 48 hours quietly contemplating this diagnosis. I don't reject it, they are probably correct. But I am having a terrible time (probably arbitrarily) figuring out what about me is my personality traits and what is Asperger's. From what I can intellectualize, there is no dividing line and it is intertwined as much as my DNA. And while I understand this I still feel like my ego was abducted, gagged, and then shot. I had always believed my intellect, introverted nature, and status as a social pariah were undeniable traits of me. I built my whole understanding of the world upon this natural assumption.
And seeing as how I am of the lowest 1% of the recent media sensationalized 99% I don't really have the income or insurance to see a professional for assistance in this trying time for me. I prefer source materials based on clinical studies when I am gaining understanding of any given disorder, except my own. The facts can be stacked and represented any which way but at the end of me reading this or that I am still left asking "Yeah, but what should I do now?"
I am open to any and all insights or advice.
Thanks for reading my post.
26 Oct 2011, 4:53 am
