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Sparx
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27 Oct 2011, 2:09 pm

No... not yet anyways. And probably not for a while.

I like living with my family though. I feel safe.



questor
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27 Oct 2011, 3:00 pm

I lived with relatives for most of my life, but have lived alone for the past 6 years. Most of this latest period has been spent in a trailer I rent from my parents. The money comes from my government assistance. The monthly rent rate I pay is about the cheapest you could pay for just a room in a house around here, but I get the whole trailer for that (4 rooms plus bathroom & laundry alcove), because my family always gives a discounted rate to relatives. Part of the monthly rent bill goes to pay the trailer mortgage and insurance, the other part goes to pay the lot fee, as this is a trailer park, so my parents are just charging me the bare minimum. I use the rest of my government assistance money to pay other bills, buy non-food groceries, and occasionally other, bigger expenses. I do pay for some of the maintenance costs on the trailer to make up for not paying a higher rent.

So, I do live independently, but I am subsidized by my parents and the government due to health issues.

I did work when I was younger, but it was hard to hold a job because of my Aspy issues, and my other health issues. My other health issues finally tipped the scales to put me on the sidelines. My parents know that it would drive us all crazy to live together, but they don't want me in a bad living situation, so they bought this trailer about half an hour from their summer home. They are snow birds, with a place here in NY for the warm months, and a place in FL for the winter. The trailer park is in my step-mom's home town, and one of my step sibs lives only a few blocks away with his family, so he helps me out sometimes. One of my brother's lives about a block away from my parent's summer house, so he keeps an eye on it for them when they are away, and helps me out sometimes, too. There are one or two other step sibs in the area, and many step nieces and nephews, and some of them have kids, too, so I have family around if I need help.

I guess your living situation depends partly on what you want, partly on what you can handle, and partly on what you can afford, but this is also true for NTs. Personally, I prefer living alone.

Remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau



Kalika
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27 Oct 2011, 6:42 pm

I'm 33, and just moved back into my mom's house this past January - it was definitely a major adjustment because I'd spent the previous ten years in an apartment, but financially-speaking, it was getting to where I couldn't make it on my own. (I don't qualify for any assistance because my job pays too much)

So far it's working out ok, but it does bother me that I'm the only child in the family who doesn't have their own place.



glider18
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27 Oct 2011, 9:25 pm

I am 46 and live with my wife and two sons. After graduating from high school I went to college, but lived at home---I commuted every day. As soon as I graduated from college I landed a teaching job and lived at home for one year until I got married to the girl I had dated for nearly 7 years. After several years of marriage, we decided to have children. Our youngest son, like me, has Asperger's. I am happy in my living conditions, and I feel very fortunate for my family. So although I consider myself independent, I have never lived by myself.


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chssmstrjk
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27 Oct 2011, 9:39 pm

Guineapigged wrote:
I guess this question only applies to adults, unless you're a teenager who has moved out.

I moved out for a few months when I was 18, but had to move back with my parents because I didn't cope well. Now I'm 20 and still living with them, though I stay on a respite unit a couple of nights a month to give them a break. Lately I've been wondering about moving out again, because I hate being a burden, but the concept of supported accommodation depresses me. I know it makes me sound like a horrible person, but I don't want to have to live with/near other people with problems. I don't want people constantly interfering with my life and forcing me to do things I could avoid if I lived alone.

What is your living situation, and how old are you (if you don't mind telling)?
Are you happy/comfortable with where you live and who you live with?


Currently I am 23 and I am, for the most part, living independently. Although I technically still live at home with my father, I am by myself 99% of the time while I am at home and my dad is asleep upstairs in his room. My dad is old enough and not getting out that much that it is more like that he is living with me and I am taking care of him (i.e. I do all of the grocery shopping and pay the house bills for him). My dad is just there in case I need to ask him for advice on things. I have gotten to the point where I feel that I can completely take care of myself without his interference. For the present being though, I am comfortable with where I live and who I live with.



nikaTheJellyfish
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27 Oct 2011, 11:07 pm

I lived independently all through college very successfully. I live with family now because it was convenient and I really needed the time to learn to trust my family. I plan to go to graduate school in the fall and will be living independently again. As much as I love my family, I miss that independence. But I will never lose my family... they will always be there for me. So I guess I get both now :) . If anyone wants them I have a list of helpful things I did to live by myself more independently... or maybe we could start a thread for a list of ideas?



Todesking
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28 Oct 2011, 12:01 pm

I have lived in the same house for 41 years with my parents. I think if I moved somewhere else it would cause me too much stress. At my old job I worked by myself for five years in this back room. The bosses thought if I got hurt in the backroom no one would know so for safety reasons they moved me between two noisey machines whose vibrations caused me severe anxiety. The combination of the anxiety from the move, the anxiety caused by vibrations, my untreated high blood pressure, and daily constant blood pressure spikes caused my heart to enlarge then I congestive heart failure causing me to have to stay in an ICU for five days in 2005. I almost died.


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MeshGearFox
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28 Oct 2011, 4:15 pm

I moved out when I was about 26 and I've lived alone for 20 years. My mom is autistic too, and I was leaving her alone in her house. It was frightening and traumatic for the both of us when I moved out. It hasn't been easy. When I did not work, I was always worried about money and ate beans for dinner. My obsessions were worse because I didn't have anyone to give me another perspective on things. My living conditions would deteriorate on account of mood swings. I could never own a house due to the level of money, upkeep and variables involved.

At this point, I'm not sure if I could live with another person even though it would be nice to have someone to talk to. I'm very sensitive to noise. I love the quiet and privacy of my own place. People should find out and do what works for them. I would move back with my mom if it was necessary (her finances and health are a worry for all of us). Most people prefer a safety net (I often think my siblings got married mostly in order to have a safety net), and it's good to make a positive contribution to a household and have it recognized by others.