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How do you react to the death of someone close to you?

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Rhiannon0828
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02 Nov 2011, 9:25 am

Callista wrote:
I hate change. It shocks me, throws me off. The death of someone very involved in your life is one of the worst changes of all.

That said, I have never been particularly demonstrative in grief. I don't tend to cry or get depressed; and I don't cry at funerals. It's more like--well, you know how a dog reacts when his particular favorite person is away; how he keeps looking for him and can't figure out what to do with that person gone, because of how that person figured into everything he did? It's like that. Like I'm trying to re-calculate my life without that person, and it takes a long time to rearrange things around all the holes that have been left by their absence. It just feels strange and unfamiliar, more than anything else.


This is a really great description of how I feel--I 've never been able to describe it so well. Thanks! I'm actually really glad I read this thread, several people here react/ feel very similarly to the way I do, and its nice to know I'm not as different (or as horrible) as I sometimes feel I must be. I also get far more upset about the deaths of animals; my pets especially but really any animal whose death I come in contact with.



Taylor1002
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03 Nov 2011, 6:43 pm

The only loved ones who've died were my Great Aunt Merna and my Great Uncle Herb. I was very sad when they died and it felt very weird and wrong. Everyone else who I was with who loved them was clearly very upset, and I acted as strong as I could emotionally so that they could be weak. I knew that they had died and I was very sad, but my living relatives needed help so I helped them.



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03 Nov 2011, 7:51 pm

Rhiannon0828 wrote:
Callista wrote:
I hate change. It shocks me, throws me off. The death of someone very involved in your life is one of the worst changes of all.

That said, I have never been particularly demonstrative in grief. I don't tend to cry or get depressed; and I don't cry at funerals. It's more like--well, you know how a dog reacts when his particular favorite person is away; how he keeps looking for him and can't figure out what to do with that person gone, because of how that person figured into everything he did? It's like that. Like I'm trying to re-calculate my life without that person, and it takes a long time to rearrange things around all the holes that have been left by their absence. It just feels strange and unfamiliar, more than anything else.


This is a really great description of how I feel--I 've never been able to describe it so well. Thanks! I'm actually really glad I read this thread, several people here react/ feel very similarly to the way I do, and its nice to know I'm not as different (or as horrible) as I sometimes feel I must be. I also get far more upset about the deaths of animals; my pets especially but really any animal whose death I come in contact with.


Yes, yes. Me too.



Joe90
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04 Nov 2011, 6:30 am

I've never had a close relative die yet. My grandad did when I was only 7, but I was never close to him and never really knew him, and I was too little to go to the funeral so I had to stay with one of my aunties. Otherwise, I'm not sure what it's like to have a close relative die. But I know I will cry and cry and cry, because when my grandmother was in hospital, we all thought she was going to die, and I kept on crying all day.

So I think I react to relatives dying like anyone else does. With pets, I did cry but I got over it quicker than what I would a person.


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donnie_darko
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26 Nov 2011, 5:02 pm

I'd probably only like truly get depressed if one of my immediate family members or one of my friends from my small circle died, or my cat, or my crush.



MrXxx
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26 Nov 2011, 5:31 pm

Pets I don't react to so much anymore. I've had and lost so many of them, I take it in stride these days. Just a part of life.

People? Depends on how close. So far I've never cried at a funeral (except one). Even my own mother's. I did at my grandmother's though (my father's mother). I'll probably ball like a baby at my father's when the time comes. I doubt highly I will cry at any others, unless...

well I'd rather not go there.

I have a wife and three kids, so you can finish that thought in your own head.


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