Do you infer and classify people's intentions?

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Maje
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02 Nov 2011, 9:05 am

Well.. yes! Thats me in a nutshell. But its not necessarily bad. Its relative.
What I dislike the most are the between-the-lines messages about peoples great personalities. Yawn.

Firstly I dont believe them, secondly its uninteresting, thirdly #1 and #2 repeat each other in eternity, and after all they have places like facebook to exercise self-portrayal bull****, so why bother me with it additionally?



shilohmm
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02 Nov 2011, 9:14 am

swbluto wrote:
I seem to have a pretty large negative bias in inferring other people's intentions, like I assume something was meant negatively more often than not when it wasn't meant as such. I kind of wonder if such a "negative perception" might be tied to experience where one lacks accuracy in inferring other people's intentions in the past, and then there's overwhelmingly a large amount of unexpected negative feedback because you're dislikable (Because you're aspie? Because you have bad memory? Because you have nonverbal communication deficits? You otherwise didn't respond "ideally"?), and so then ones perception becomes negatively biased to "more accurately predict" intentions in the future?


When I look back on situations I always interpret them negatively. Well, I'm getting better about it (for one thing I talk to my husband and he insists it wasn't like that), but historically speaking that's been my tendency. A lot of the write-ups on Aspies make it sound like they're just naturally negative, but I think it's more about the fact that, as a small child, my parent's intentions pretty much always were negative if it was a situation that interested me enough to look back on, because they very highly value conformity and most of the situations that concerned me enough to think on, I wasn't conforming. :roll:

And like Verdandi I can often identify very overt emotions like anger, but I don't see it until it's extreme -- from my perspective, my dad would pop his cork with no notice, just suddenly start screaming, and when he'd reached that point I sure knew his intentions (to clobber me), but prior to that I did not see the anger and really didn't consider it as a possibility. I just tried to avoid him in general instead of trying to figure out if he was in a bad mood or whatever. People I'm comfortable with, I will ask.



marshall
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02 Nov 2011, 9:22 am

Maybe. Not sure.



b9
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02 Nov 2011, 9:30 am

Quote:
Do you infer and classify people's intentions?


no. i just go with the flow until i see a flaw.
I am rather alert and i can sense flaws in people's acts.
even though i can not act like a person, i know how they act, and i know if they are real or fake (i think) and i do not know how.

most people seem fake. some people are superficially fake, and i can like them, but some people are fundamentally fake and i see them as fraudulent, and i do not have any time for them.

people that are fundamentally fake are often on a safari hunt for recognition and endorsement of their delusion of beauty.

they are self absorbed in not an autistic way, but in a conceited way, and i find that quite ugly.



Mdyar
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02 Nov 2011, 5:12 pm

b9 wrote:
Quote:
Do you infer and classify people's intentions?


no. i just go with the flow until i see a flaw.
I am rather alert and i can sense flaws in people's acts.
even though i can not act like a person, i know how they act, and i know if they are real or fake (i think) and i do not know how.

most people seem fake. some people are superficially fake, and i can like them, but some people are fundamentally fake and i see them as fraudulent, and i do not have any time for them.

people that are fundamentally fake are often on a safari hunt for recognition and endorsement of their delusion of beauty.

they are self absorbed in not an autistic way, but in a conceited way, and i find that quite ugly.


Yes. They are just trying to fit into the current themes. Once you do find yourself through experience, as the saying goes, you can then develop an opinion of your own.



1000Knives
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02 Nov 2011, 5:43 pm

Yes, I try to. I overinfer and overanalyze usually. I can only intellectually deal with people like that, I don't just naturally feel it out like it seems lots of other people do. So, generally, I'm dealing with a mental checklist of people's...stuff, every time I deal with them. "Why is he doing ____?"

However, you had another thread asking if you think about what other people are thinking about, I rarely ever think of that ever. I basically think like, "What are they doing, why are they doing that, how does it affect me?" Is my thought process with people 99% of the time.



Sibyl
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03 Nov 2011, 12:42 am

swbluto wrote:
When you hear someone say something, do you have a tendency to infer the intention behind their message? Like, I can usually tell when people are...

Trying to encourage me.
Trying to insult me.
Trying to gain my favor.
Trying to make me angry.
Trying to cheer me up.
Trying to tell me to go away.
Trying to help me.
And so on.

When you look at what people write or what they have to say, do you similarly tend to automatically classify their basic intentions or is it all just a bunch of words with a meaning that needs to processed?


Sometimes. I understand the words okay, and part of the time it's obvious from the circumstances, as if they're trying to sell me something, or buy something from me, or persuade me of something, and usually if they just want to pass the time, or we happen to be sitting on the same bench, or standing in the same line, it's not-unfriendly to say _something_, about the weather or whatever. But a lot of the time I don't know why they're talking to me, I assume it's to be friendly, and if they've been friendly several times, or sounded friendly, anyway, then do me a dirty, I don't know. I'm bewildered. And as someone else said, if they're getting angry because of what we've been discussing (objectively, I'd thought), I don't notice until they're really very very angry. But then there are friendly people in my world, who are always friendly every time I talk to them, and have been forever, so I don't automatically go into mistrust. Mostly I just go by what they say, and don't think to wonder why they're saying it. If that particular person has "betrayed" me once, though, they don't get a second chance. Sometimes I notice they're lying, though (making a statement contrary to the fact as I know it) and _then_ I'll wonder why.


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