40+ Something Love & Dating - Who to Date (1 of 10)

Post Reply New Topic

thank you -
funny thing is I think maturing cures a lot of what ails us.
Of course a question is how long can one postpone maturity?
For me the younger version had a lot more to prove.
the younger version had no patience - no acceptance
the younger version was good intentioned - but there was a lot of needless drama and angst.

As with anything in life, timing is critical. Epiphany, the zenith of self-awareness and grasping of one’s own personal truth, is a natural progression, an evolutionary process of sorts. It can’t be coerced or engendered until the exact moment (if ever for that matter) one is ripe to succumb to it. [b][/b]

I am quite available, very desirable, and I command my own starship. Well, I drive a Saturn SC-1.

Welcome Aboard Commander Shrox! [b]

I've dated women a few years older than me. That was common when I was younger, but faded out around my 30's. Only once have I dated anyone much older than that, and that was about 6 years older.

In the last 10 - 15 years, it's been common for me to date 6 - 10 years younger, and not uncommon for me to date women half my age. With that sort of age difference, it makes for a different sort of relationship. Age does matter, but it's not necessarily a barrier.

My targeted age range right now is "childbearing" up through just about my age. I'm still looking for an opportunity to build a family and that's more difficult with a woman who's closer to my age. I'm open to dating just about anyone, but they would be different sorts of relationships.

I'm 48, just starting to date for the first time in my life. I was married 20 years, now divorced, and got out of a 7-year relationship almost a year ago. Both relationships were very unhealthy; emotionally abusive. As my therapist said, the prior men "chose" me I didn't do the choosing. Now I want to fix that. I want to make up for the years I should have been keeping my options open and dating, the teenager years I missed out on. I want to do this in a healthy way. It's scary, and I'm not quite sure how to start.

I have had one official date earlier this month, and decided not to see the man again because I suspected he wanted sex only. I have a first date with a different man this coming weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.

What qualities do you seek in a viable romantic match (physical and cerebral)?
Both

Do you see a viable romantic match as a "total package"?
Yes

What age range are you seeking?
Older or younger is fine at this point.

What are your relationship goals (activity partner, short term dating or do you want a shot at a long term exclusive committed relationship?
Short term dating, just seeing who’s out there, wanting to make new friends. This is because I’ve never really “dated” before.

Would you ever get married again if you found a suitable guy who chimed your bell on all fronts and he was good to your children?
I don't think so. If I was serious with someone, I think it would be ideal for us to live next to each other in a duplex, but not together.

Are you open to relocation?
Not right now.

Would you date a guy who has children from a previous relationship?
Yes, but wouldn’t want to be in a serious relationship unless his children were grown.

Do you have any other dealbreaker preferences that automatically excludes certain guys?
I want a non-smoker, but it’s not a deal-breaker at first. No drugs, period. No toxic personalities, I’m working hard to recognize those sooner.

What are your hobbies/interests and passions?
Music, listening to live bands, art, interior design, reading, good movies, mysteries.

Will you date NTs?
Yes.

Do you prefer Aspies?
No. But I am open to dating an Aspie.

have C&Pd the last entry, as the questions looked like a great way to introduce myself.


I have not really "dated" in a very long time, and have't ever done much traditional dting. I have had 2 LTRs, maybe 3 depending on how you define "long." I a looking forward to the romantic excitement of falling in love, and getting to know someone else.


What qualities do you seek in a viable romantic match (physical and cerebral)?
Both. Initial attraction is often physical, but they have to still be sexy after they start talking! I need to fall in love with a brain.

Do you see a viable romantic match as a "total package"?
I don't expect a partner to be everything to me. I have friends and family. I dont want my "other half." I'm a complete human on my own. I do want someone to complement, support, and appreciate what I bring to the table.

What age range are you seeking? Age is irrelevant to me. I've dated more than a decade apart from me in both directions. I prefer an "old soul" with youthful enthusiasm.

What are your relationship goals (activity partner, short term dating or do you want a shot at a long term exclusive committed relationship?
I am open to most anything right now, as long as we are both on the same page with our expectations.

Are you open to relocation? Yes. It would be a good time. I do own my home in Oregon, but I can always rent it.

Would you date a guy who has children from a previous relationship?
Yes, I love kids, and have dated 2 guys with kids in the past.

Do you have any other dealbreaker preferences that automatically excludes certain guys?
No tobacco, no hard stuff, everything else in moderation. I prefer non-vanilla, but it's not a dealbreaker.

What are your hobbies/interests and passions?
Music, puzzles, reading, movies, travel, D&D, RPGs (mostly computer)

Will you date NTs?
Yes.

Do you prefer Aspies?
No. I have dated 1 Aspie, but he was uncomfortable with the sexual part of the relationship, and that's very important to me.

What qualities do you seek in a viable romantic match (physical and cerebral)?

Smart, funny, committed, respectful, and supportive. I'm not as attracted to thin men as I am average or larger men.

Do you see a viable romantic match as a "total package"?

No. I'm not, and it is probably unhealthy to expect so much from another person.

What age range are you seeking?

No less than three years younger than me or 15 years older. I tend to date older men, but I'm finally starting to find men my own age as more attractive.

What are your relationship goals (activity partner, short term dating or do you want a shot at a long term exclusive committed relationship?

Long term committed. Dating is stressful for me, and I want to be able to build a stable future.

Would you ever get married again if you found a suitable guy?

I would marry again. I'd be hesitant to jump into marriage, and it would take time, but I would do it again.

Are you open to relocation?

That would depend a lot on the guy.

Would you date a guy who has children from a previous relationship?

Yes.

Do you have any other dealbreaker preferences that automatically excludes certain guys?

No smoking or drugs. I'm hesitant to date monotheists unless they understand and are willing to respect that I have different religious beliefs. I have LGBT friends, so someone socially liberal is a must.

What are your hobbies/interests and passions?

Sci-fi (particularly Star Trek, Dune, and Babylon 5), cooking, camping, road trips, music, movies, reading, tabletop games, self-sufficiency, and DIY projects.

Will you date NTs? Do you prefer Aspies?

Either. They need to be at least moderately affectionate in private and sex should be important to them, but if we have similar goals and respect each others needs and differences, then I'm not concerned whether they are NT or AS.

I dated NTs all my life, those didnt work out for various reasons,, now that I am a self diagnosed aspie I feel Im starting all over in the dating scene,, new rules..new ways,, etc.. Im not dating currently, taking some time to sort out all this aspie side of me,, but

If i did date I think id prefer an aspie man,, around my age,, with similar interests, preferably local, prefer similar spiritual interests, and comfortable with dating a fellow aspie , living and supporting his self, willing to compromise and think out of the box.. etc.

What qualities do you seek in a viable romantic match (physical and cerebral)?

Intelligence is a major turn-on. I would really like to find someone who I could talk to
on a variety of topics. Physically, average looks is fine, but there definitely needs to
be mutual physical attraction.


Do you see a viable romantic match as a "total package"?

A total package would be ideal, but probably too much to ask for.


What age range are you seeking?

Age: Doesn't matter that much. Not too much older (I'm 51). Younger if fine.


What are your relationship goals (activity partner, short term dating or do you want a shot
at a long term exclusive committed relationship)?

I'm looking for a long term relationship. Dating is very difficult for me so I have no
interest in dates that have no potential for something long term.


Would you ever get married again if you found a suitable girl?

I've never been married, but I'm absolutely interested in marriage.


Are you open to relocation?

Unfortunately, no. Between my job and family responsibilities, moving any time soon is out
of the question.


Would you date a girl who has children from a previous relationship?

Yes.


Do you have any other dealbreaker preferences that automatically excludes certain girls?

No smoking or drugs.


What are your hobbies/interests and passions?

Sci-fi, Dr Who is my all-time favorite, gardening, I love working outside. Alternative
music. Music is very important to me. Science and technology are life long obsessions.


Will you date NTs? Do you prefer Aspies?

I think that I would be a better fit with Aspies, but an understanding NT would also be
acceptable. One issue with Aspies is that I know that many don't like to be touched and/or
have little interest in sex. That would be a problem because I need a relationship that
has both. I need to touch / be touched and I would not want a relationship that doesn't
have that.

Wow, I'm not so alone after reading these posts. I'm 50 newly diagnosed, I like girls and I am available but I think I need some time to meet a few aspies so I can get a bit more grounded. I live in a small town and it's a college town so at 50 dates are pretty slim. In fact I've only ever been on a couple actual dates. Mostly I seem to meet NT girls who already like me though I can't tell and them bam! I'm in love and then bam! They are calling me all sorts of names. The last girl I dated was 33 that's a pretty big gap, she knew about my AS and was still very hateful in the end. Would love to date or at least talk to a girl who has been diagnosed. I don't like guys much or rather men so I'm a girl/boy my sisters really love me I don't really talk to my brother. I tried a couple dating sites but they all seem like a scam or know me contacts me. I'm not a bad looking dude but I do have a big ol nose and a goofy smile. Honestly reading all these posts helps me think maybe one day I could bond with another human. For now I happy living vicariously thru wrong planet. Ok Cupid kept matching me up with 20 year old girls like I believe that and even if I did contact a younger girl I would feel like a perve. I think 30 ish is about as young as is safe for me

I have given up even looking.
I think it's because I have to many "deal breakers"
I won't date a woman with kids.
no dogs (canine)
no tattoos
no members of religions

Those 4 right there wipe out most of the selection.

Anyway, I have become comfortable in my singleness and I don't want to upset the balance.

I did find someone this summer. I was on OKC and was messaged by an incredible 46 year old woman. We got to know each other and fell in love this fall. Her only flaw is that she lives 1000 miles away. We are, however, making it work. I have flown there a couple of times and have another trip in the works. We are working on getting her to my area permanently, but that might take a couple of years. She is worth the wait.

I don't have kids
I have three cats, but no dogs
I have no tattoos
and am agnostic


However, something tells me we wouldn't be a match