Jamesy wrote:
okay maybe a villlian is a bit over the top and in fact what i should have said was 'snotty' not a villian lol.
my theory is that a child who is smiles and is very sweet will just grow too be the complete opposite of that. its a gradual process and i have seen it happen with my brother and loads of other kids i knew at school. it could be down too them or it could there parents that influence them too change for the worst or the better?
I don't buy that theory. Nice kids grow up into nice adults probably at the same rate as anyone. And hardly anyone is particularly pleasant as a teen. Just ... all people are constantly evolving and predicting how someone will be as an adult by their behavior as a child is a poor guess.
That said, I have observed as a parent that one does have to be careful not to assume your nice little child is always going to be nice. My daughter did learn to play her sweet demeanor to her own advantage quickly, and if allowed will take advantage of "appearing" nice. Answer is, we don't let her. We call her on it, and remind her that if she isn't actually consistently nice, people WILL figure it out, and WILL turn away from her because of it. There may be times that a parent allows the rose colored glasses on their faces to linger too long, and fails to teach that lesson ... but talking to other moms I'd say most of us know EXACTLY when our kids go too far.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).