Ways of dealing with self steem issues?

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Grisha
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08 Nov 2011, 6:58 pm

MXH wrote:
Many self issues here, but i dont think i can find a way to trick myself to think im any good


I think that simply failing to have low self-esteem is often good enough.

Otherwise, what would you need to accomplish in order to be acceptable to yourself?



SoftlyStepping
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08 Nov 2011, 7:12 pm

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you know to avoid any future similar situations with a suitable person(dont want to scare them away by questioning their motives...).


Be around enough suitable people that it feels normal and comfortable to you.

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So I would like to know if theres any kind of reading material/activity/something that could be helpfull on this area?,


Read about dance. Ask about dance. Do zen meditation and think about dancing. Good grief! You'll never get anywhere that way. Just go out there and boogie.



1000Knives
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09 Nov 2011, 1:28 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I've found the only thing that helps is improving yourself.

Its still hard, too.


This is true, I tend to I guess use my various projects and ventures and activities to gain self esteem. Stuff like "Yay I deadlifted 275 today." Stuff like that. I do endless cycles of trying to be the best at everything I do ever. Don't know if it's healthy or not, but...screw it. Makes me feel good, and I guess it's better than doing drugs. But yes, I tend to set ridiculous unattainable goals, usually involving fast powerful cars, strength, or athletic skill. Or building things in general. Maybe it stems from some deep psychological thing of never feeling good enough. So because of that, I try to be really great at certain things, and push myself to learn things at almost professional levels of skill. My latest sorta thing like that, figure skating, somewhat similar to dance, actually. I really love it, regardless of if I can be good at it or not. It really helps my visual spatial issues, and learning to think more geometrically. It feels like you're flying, it's so wonderful. Plus there's hot chicks. I've considered speed skating, but maybe later. It's really fun, but I guess I want some sort of creative outlet that figure skating gives me? I also really like cars, and wish to build my 84 Supra up to around mid 400hp, and do some other neat things with my other cars.

With my NVLD, it makes things easy and hard. It allows me to have the knowledge for theoretically figuring out how to do everything I do, but denies me the power of executing it as well as I can think it out.

It does help my self esteem, obviously, but it's more like, damage control, if you would? Like how the MJ song goes "Gotta be startin' something..." That's how I try to have my life go, so while I have my stuff going, I don't feel sad about deep underlying issues or whatever. It's better to have wild vain ambition than none at all, I guess.

As far as dancing, look into ballroom dancing or Latin dancing, it's nice and structured. I'll probably have to learn a bit of it if I get far enough on ice.



Erisad
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09 Nov 2011, 8:27 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I've found the only thing that helps is improving yourself.

Its still hard, too.


I agree. That's why I'm losing weight and my self esteem has improved a bit because of it. :)



MXH
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09 Nov 2011, 8:33 am

Grisha wrote:
MXH wrote:
Many self issues here, but i dont think i can find a way to trick myself to think im any good


I think that simply failing to have low self-esteem is often good enough.

Otherwise, what would you need to accomplish in order to be acceptable to yourself?


theres nothing i can accomplish, let alone something to make me acceptable. Its complicated



Grisha
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09 Nov 2011, 8:35 am

Erisad wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I've found the only thing that helps is improving yourself.

Its still hard, too.


I agree. That's why I'm losing weight and my self esteem has improved a bit because of it. :)


Of course I agree, but I've come to realize that improvement must be constant - you never hit a goal and then are "good enough" - this isn't necessarily a bad thing though...



Erisad
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09 Nov 2011, 7:53 pm

Grisha wrote:
Erisad wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I've found the only thing that helps is improving yourself.

Its still hard, too.


I agree. That's why I'm losing weight and my self esteem has improved a bit because of it. :)


Of course I agree, but I've come to realize that improvement must be constant - you never hit a goal and then are "good enough" - this isn't necessarily a bad thing though...


Right. I don't know when I'll hit my goal or if it's possible. Oh well...I'll keep trying. :)