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werbert
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29 Sep 2006, 10:59 am

2002 werbert wrote:
The World’s greatest condiment is mustard, the spicy yellow sauce. Its golden goodness can transform even the most pungent slop into a delectable cuisine. Even though some foods are so rancid and disgusting that they cannot be helped by the miracle condiment, these are rarer than an easy English test and it is often that the fault lies with the texture of the offensive food. Mustard may be the closest thing o perfection on this dirty little planet we call home, but it cannot fix everything.
Mustard is a great blessing to humanity, indeed. However, most people are unaware of what a godsend it is because they think of it only as a mild-mannered sauce that sits in the refrigerator with its inferior friend, ketchup. This is merely a clever disguise. Given the chance, I am sure mustard could change the world as much as the printing press. For example, if the world’s pepper supply should ever run low, deli mustard would be a natural substitute.
I have been fortunate enough to have enjoyed the benefits of the golden spice for approximately nine years. Only once every few years did mustard fail to transform an otherwise dull dish into a mouthwatering delicacy. It has even worked its mystical magic on mashed potatoes. Once, I mistakenly purchased fish nuggets in the cafeteria, thinking it was chicken. Several dabs of mustard later, I reflected on what a delicious meal it was. As I mentioned earlier, there have been failures. The most recent was some sort of cranberry sauce and crumb mixture. It was in a TV dinner and it would not have been needed to be blessed by the yellow ambrosia if the crumbs on the bottom had not been there. However, the texture of the crumbs was simply too offensive to be helped by mustard.


Does anybody else love mustard?



TheMachine1
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29 Sep 2006, 11:45 am

I saw a user with a sig file in which he siad he loved mustard.

Yeah I rarely use mayo or katchup. I like to use spicy mustard not the plain yellow
stuff.

I grew some mustard greens (I guess not the same plant) but the bugs ate them up.



werbert
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29 Sep 2006, 12:15 pm

TheMachine1 wrote:
I like to use spicy mustard not the plain yellow stuff.


Die, heretic scum! :evil: :evil: :evil:



TheMachine1
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29 Sep 2006, 12:21 pm

werbert wrote:
TheMachine1 wrote:
I like to use spicy mustard not the plain yellow stuff.


Die, heretic scum! :evil: :evil: :evil:


Well if the pastor at the Church of Garlic finds out I have been using any type of mustard
I may have to do 1000's hail Garlics.

Oh what about horse radish. I've tasted some stuff strong enough to kill a garlic plant.



werbert
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29 Sep 2006, 1:14 pm

Horse radish is acceptable, but honey mustard is an abomination.



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29 Sep 2006, 1:45 pm

I was thinking about joining your church...as mustard is indeed a taste explosion and works wonders to lubricate the salutatory glands,increase a weak pulse,clear the sinuses.and make the blandest foods
palatable(even kills the fishy taste of Tuna...not an easy task).....

but this business of removing horses radishes is an abomination....tis a slippery slope that will lead to gal bladder,pancrease and other such organs being removed from horses...please reconsider your stance on horses radishes...they belong in the horse not on the hotdog!! !


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sociable_hermit
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29 Sep 2006, 2:12 pm

I fear you are specialising too much, Right Reverend Werbert. A slight change in admissions policy to welcome all who enjoy a sizeable kick to the taste buds would be nice.

Blessed are those who savour:

Mustard
West Indian Hot Pepper Sauce
Chili sauces (esp. "Dave's Insanity Sauce" 8O )
Madras or Vindaloo paste
Horseradish sauce

Tolerance could also be extended to those who sample Lee & Perrin's Worcester Sauce on a regular basis.

P.S. When it comes to mustard, I like the wholegrain stuff :wink:


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Sedaka
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29 Sep 2006, 2:12 pm

your posts tickle me, werbert :D



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29 Sep 2006, 2:16 pm

werbert wrote:
Horse radish is acceptable, but honey mustard is an abomination.


what about wasabi? sushi...... /hmmmmmmmmmmmm



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29 Sep 2006, 3:44 pm

What is a Wassabi....I know it is hot but not what it is made of?Please inlighten me...

Sociable Hermit....All great religions are based on exclussion...we dont want to go to an over crowded heaven(the traffic,long lines at the shops....especially at Christmas...)I do think Worchester Sauce should be included as a minor diety....goes great in ramon noodles with a couple of eggs.


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29 Sep 2006, 4:37 pm

Mustard makes everything nicer. :wink:



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29 Sep 2006, 5:05 pm

werbert wrote:
2002 werbert wrote:
The World’s greatest condiment is mustard, the spicy yellow sauce. Its golden goodness can transform even the most pungent slop into a delectable cuisine. Even though some foods are so rancid and disgusting that they cannot be helped by the miracle condiment, these are rarer than an easy English test and it is often that the fault lies with the texture of the offensive food. Mustard may be the closest thing o perfection on this dirty little planet we call home, but it cannot fix everything.
Mustard is a great blessing to humanity, indeed. However, most people are unaware of what a godsend it is because they think of it only as a mild-mannered sauce that sits in the refrigerator with its inferior friend, ketchup. This is merely a clever disguise. Given the chance, I am sure mustard could change the world as much as the printing press. For example, if the world’s pepper supply should ever run low, deli mustard would be a natural substitute.
I have been fortunate enough to have enjoyed the benefits of the golden spice for approximately nine years. Only once every few years did mustard fail to transform an otherwise dull dish into a mouthwatering delicacy. It has even worked its mystical magic on mashed potatoes. Once, I mistakenly purchased fish nuggets in the cafeteria, thinking it was chicken. Several dabs of mustard later, I reflected on what a delicious meal it was. As I mentioned earlier, there have been failures. The most recent was some sort of cranberry sauce and crumb mixture. It was in a TV dinner and it would not have been needed to be blessed by the yellow ambrosia if the crumbs on the bottom had not been there. However, the texture of the crumbs was simply too offensive to be helped by mustard.


Does anybody else love mustard?


Rake Yohn doesn't. Watch the "Jackass" movie DVD, in the deleted scenes, and see how one man's hatred of mustard, and a conspiracy to confront him with this fear, puts a dent in Bam Margera's car. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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29 Sep 2006, 5:46 pm

Mustard is Satan. Garlic is God.



rpm2004
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29 Sep 2006, 5:57 pm

Yeah I love it and I put it on EVERYTHING!...except ice cream

My sig used to have the list of ingredients in "the yellow goodness"


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29 Sep 2006, 6:37 pm

honey mustard!


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29 Sep 2006, 6:50 pm

werbert wrote:
Horse radish is acceptable, but honey mustard is an abomination.


Well, maybe to you and your fellow Spicemustardans, but to the Suestard denomonation, it's considered quite holy. One must take differing interpretations of Mustardom int account.


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