2002 werbert wrote:
The World’s greatest condiment is mustard, the spicy yellow sauce. Its golden goodness can transform even the most pungent slop into a delectable cuisine. Even though some foods are so rancid and disgusting that they cannot be helped by the miracle condiment, these are rarer than an easy English test and it is often that the fault lies with the texture of the offensive food. Mustard may be the closest thing o perfection on this dirty little planet we call home, but it cannot fix everything.
Mustard is a great blessing to humanity, indeed. However, most people are unaware of what a godsend it is because they think of it only as a mild-mannered sauce that sits in the refrigerator with its inferior friend, ketchup. This is merely a clever disguise. Given the chance, I am sure mustard could change the world as much as the printing press. For example, if the world’s pepper supply should ever run low, deli mustard would be a natural substitute.
I have been fortunate enough to have enjoyed the benefits of the golden spice for approximately nine years. Only once every few years did mustard fail to transform an otherwise dull dish into a mouthwatering delicacy. It has even worked its mystical magic on mashed potatoes. Once, I mistakenly purchased fish nuggets in the cafeteria, thinking it was chicken. Several dabs of mustard later, I reflected on what a delicious meal it was. As I mentioned earlier, there have been failures. The most recent was some sort of cranberry sauce and crumb mixture. It was in a TV dinner and it would not have been needed to be blessed by the yellow ambrosia if the crumbs on the bottom had not been there. However, the texture of the crumbs was simply too offensive to be helped by mustard.
Does anybody else love mustard?