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Poet_Morpheus
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13 Nov 2011, 12:13 am

ok simple and sweet, I have a job at the local movie theatre. I get called into my manager's office on account of a co-worker complaining twice that I sexually harassed her by staring. I've got 4 other co-workers who will testify that I wasn't sexually harassing anyone. At most I stop and stare off in space occasionally because I have the tremors and seizures.

The layout of the building is a balcony with a consession stand under overlooking it, the ushers (me and the 4 other dudes) have to occasionally check the lobby area where the consession is.

I've already made clear that I had tremors and seizures to my manager and I asked for reasonable accomidations to be monitored somewhat, what else could I do to stop the reverse sexual harassment?

I've already started to just watch movies half my shift while the others rotate the break period. at most 3 ushers are there at a time, 2 on break and one theatre checking etc.

if you guys need anymore info on the situation ask.



MacDragard
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13 Nov 2011, 12:22 am

Sounds like a bunch of bullcrap to me. Sexual harassment for just looking at her the wrong way? I think she's the one who's crazy. But again, she may come from an abusive family or has been raped. I'd just be careful and be aware in the future.



Poet_Morpheus
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13 Nov 2011, 12:26 am

i've let it slide the first 2 times next time i'm calling bs and the managers wouldn't say who she was to begin with. and yea they are all full of themselves too.



Lene
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13 Nov 2011, 7:03 am

Poet_Morpheus wrote:
i've let it slide the first 2 times next time i'm calling bs and the managers wouldn't say who she was to begin with..


That sucks :( So you can't even avoid them in future because you don't know who they are...

Also, 'staring' is kind of a lame reason to shop someone in to the manager...

I agree, you should call bs and demand that they either tell you who the hell it is that has a problem (beause clearly you're harrassing so many people, its hard to keep track :roll: ) or stop calling you in and let you do your job. If they fire you over it, get a lawyer.

For your own safety, try and stare into space looking at a wall if you can (I know it's hard to remember).



DoodleDoo
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13 Nov 2011, 8:23 pm

I have seen stuff like this before, this may not be applicable to this situation at all and this is strictly my opinion. Just some guesses about this situation

Sometimes groups of young NT girls can be extraordinarily heartless and cruel to anyone who is a little different. Of coarse they have great ease with divining subtleties of emotions and are very deft with manipulation of the emotions of others. This does not mean they will treat others with kindness. Using sexual harassment as a means to be cruel to others who are different is nothing new. When they are in there click and they think no one else is listening the backstabbing or backbiting can build and build. I suppose you could call this a form of bullying, they get others to do the bullying for them, sometime through what appears as legal means.

An extreme example of this would be the Salem Witch Trails, the root perpetrators of all this madness were three teenage girls. So this kind of thing is nothing new.

One way to stop them cold is if someone were to call them out on this. This is something you cannot do on your own. You need an ally, a NT who is aware of what they are up to and advise you and speak-out against this at key moments.

To me this seems like you are being told you are doing something wrong yet they will not tell you what it is. They will not let you know who is offended by staring so you can avoid looking at them so they will not be offended, to me this is setting you up to fail, they will not allow you the means to correct your behavior. This smacks of an intentionally created hostile work environment, perhaps for all parties involved.

There is another way to look at this, If you do not need this job, your still living at home and at worst they can you who cares. You can try things to fix the situation.
You can take this above your boss, the chain of command thing, hell go to the top with your problem. This kind of approach has its risks and you may make some mistakes along the way, but you will learn a lot in the process and at worst you get canned so what. I would rather get canned fighting than laying there getting beaten doing nothing.

Life is often not fair and this can be a lesson as far as how important understanding social stuff is, work place politics and the necessity of making some friends is.



Poet_Morpheus
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13 Nov 2011, 9:31 pm

DoodleDoo wrote:
I have seen stuff like this before, this may not be applicable to this situation at all and this is strictly my opinion. Just some guesses about this situation

Sometimes groups of young NT girls can be extraordinarily heartless and cruel to anyone who is a little different. Of coarse they have great ease with divining subtleties of emotions and are very deft with manipulation of the emotions of others. This does not mean they will treat others with kindness. Using sexual harassment as a means to be cruel to others who are different is nothing new. When they are in there click and they think no one else is listening the backstabbing or backbiting can build and build. I suppose you could call this a form of bullying, they get others to do the bullying for them, sometime through what appears as legal means.

An extreme example of this would be the Salem Witch Trails, the root perpetrators of all this madness were three teenage girls. So this kind of thing is nothing new.

One way to stop them cold is if someone were to call them out on this. This is something you cannot do on your own. You need an ally, a NT who is aware of what they are up to and advise you and speak-out against this at key moments.

To me this seems like you are being told you are doing something wrong yet they will not tell you what it is. They will not let you know who is offended by staring so you can avoid looking at them so they will not be offended, to me this is setting you up to fail, they will not allow you the means to correct your behavior. This smacks of an intentionally created hostile work environment, perhaps for all parties involved.

There is another way to look at this, If you do not need this job, your still living at home and at worst they can you who cares. You can try things to fix the situation.
You can take this above your boss, the chain of command thing, hell go to the top with your problem. This kind of approach has its risks and you may make some mistakes along the way, but you will learn a lot in the process and at worst you get canned so what. I would rather get canned fighting than laying there getting beaten doing nothing.

Life is often not fair and this can be a lesson as far as how important understanding social stuff is, work place politics and the necessity of making some friends is.


it problably is the click stuff cause everyone except me and one girl are still in high school.
And this is my first job actually so yea I need it for my resume. The manager that pulled me aside is the owner of the threatre's son.



Dione
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23 Nov 2011, 4:18 pm

Clearly this girl has not confronted you about it personally. Sexual harassment is defined as someone making some form of sexual advance on someone, the person being harassed tells the perpetrator to stop, and the advances continue. Therefore, legally, unless she has confronted you about it before, it is not legally sexual harassment.