Dating for introverts

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I decided I would see what was out there assuming that I don't have to go about dating using the extrovert pattern. This was set in motion by an observation I made the other day. Three NT's, who all hail from the same chuch, were chatting together like a bunch of noisey birds.

What I found was very encouraging, like this:
http://community.livejournal.com/intj_/85163.html

What I see as the cause of dispare is that your friends/family/coworkers want to know why you're single. The do this, telling you to get out, ask out, chat up, etc., to the point that you freak out. You get so focused on getting some that you become desparate for sex.

It really bugs them when you haven't ever had sex. They can't understand how you could go without; not like you have gone without though. Mind you, alot of them haven't gotten any in months or years. They're basically in the same position as you, but the focus is on the guy with the holy grail of virginity.

In the future, if anyone asks the v question, or a coworker my income, they are right in line for getting cold cocked.

The reason I've been single was that I didn't want to deal with a girlfriend. Presently, I'm open to having a girlfriend, but have been looking in the wrong places. Instead, I need to focus on meeting women that are more suitable for me and not the expectations of societly at large.

You make a very good point here.

But what is the best way to not aspi out in front of a nice lady. I already messed up on one – she let me sit next to her and aloud me to converse with her – now she is creeped out – she won’t even wave or say hi back. My best conversation skills for new people are asking questions which for some reason don’t get me past knowing the person. I struggle to not just talk about school, books and music. I’m also very awkward about talking to girls using coherent phrases. I know some of it is mere shyness, but once I’m no longer shy – well, aspi’s just kicks in. I wish I could talk like regular people.

Is it possible that you are believe you must win over the next girl you talk to?

Are you able to be friendly to the next female you encounter without worrying about whether she would want to go out with you?



What questions?

Even if you don't get to know more about the person, being in proximately will allow you both to become more familiar with the other's presence. But if it gets awkward, it may be best to say that you'll talk later and move on. If you encounter that person on another day you can greet them and see how they're doing.



If the person you're talking to share's your interest then these are great things to talk about. But limit any rants about school; it'll give the impression that you're not a happy person.




That doesn't happen when you talk to males?