Not sure what to make of an email correspondence
Lately I've been having email correspondences with a friend I made over the summer but who lives in a different city. I strongly suspect that he has AS, although when I told him about mine (not something I'd normally do, but I did here for several reasons) he said he'd never heard of it. That may be because he's a recent immigrant from China--I don't know that AS would be regularly diagnosed over there. On the other hand, some of what I might be interpreting as AS might just be cultural differences compounded with introversion.
Anyway, sometimes I wonder whether he doesn't want me emailing him. I get this sort of paranoia a lot, but in this case there have been a few things that I'm not sure what to make of. First, I am almost always the one emailing him--only once or twice has it been the other way around, and those were under special circumstances. Second, while I tend to ask questions in emails to keep the conversation going, he usually doesn't. Also, he tends to say rather, well, final things in emails. A while back he ended an email along the lines "good luck with your life." Much more recently he wished me good luck with school and ended by saying "I hope you have a happy Christmas." Now, we were discussing Christmas, and how our families celebrate (or don't celebrate it), but still, it's only mid-November. Does this mean he doesn't want to email with me for awhile and is just to polite to say it outright? I know that politeness is very important in some Asian cultures and that they will hesitate to directly disagree--which can cause a great deal of confusion for Westerners.
I did say in an email recently that I hoped that my emails weren't bothering him, mentioning that I worry because I'm always the one initiating conversations. He didn't really acknowledge that bit, although the first line of his replying email was "It's good to here from you."
However, we have Skyped a few times (always at my suggestion) and we've spoken for a long time. I've given him opportunities to politely leave (ex: the Skype session crashes and I ask if he needs to leave and do some homework) but he always refuses. Except for one case where people in his apartment were trying to sleep, it has always been me to end these conversations.
Does anyone know what to make of this? Should I assume he doesn't want to talk to me and email less, or not at all?
I get the sense that he is shy and socially awkward, and just may have some trouble initiating contact, as well as knowing how to be engaging in conversations. He could very well have undiagnosed AS. The fact that he responds to your emails should be a clue that he does want to keep this going. I'd say you don't have much to worry about.
_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder
My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
I wouldn't read too much into his politeness. I'm inclined to think of the "good luck with your life" as a general well-wish, not a farewell-let-us-never-speak-again thing.
I know this advice is a lot easier to dispense than it is to take, but try not to be so paranoid. If he does not enjoy talking to you, there are far easier ways to shut down correspondence, and engaging in lengthy Skype conversations certainly does not feel like one of them.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Upgraded to latest version of Outlook/deluge of email. |
03 Apr 2024, 1:46 pm |
How can i make new friends without failing (if possible) |
29 Feb 2024, 6:25 am |
People That Swear Make Better Friends & Are More Intelligent |
20 Mar 2024, 11:08 am |
An Ingenious New Process Could Make Computers 2x Faster—With |
20 Mar 2024, 1:35 pm |