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Ganondox
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26 Nov 2011, 12:18 pm

Does any else ever purposely defy conventions in public (ex. publically stimming, rambling about a special interest, not hiding a quirk about you, anything) when you feel there isn't going to be any major consequences, for what ever reasons?


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OliveOilMom
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26 Nov 2011, 12:21 pm

Just to p*ss them off? Yes

Because I can. yes

Because they unwittingly defy my social conventions all the time? Yes.

Just to see what they will do? Yes

Frances



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26 Nov 2011, 12:21 pm

Hi. I have defied 'conventions' even when thinking there WERE goinna be consequences. :)


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Meow101
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26 Nov 2011, 12:29 pm

Not really...I've been trying to "pass" as NT for so long that it's become second nature unless I'm really at ease with who I'm with, in which case I don't bother. My 14 year old daughter who also has AS, though, does deliberately defy social conventions all the time...I wish I were as brave as she is!

~Kate


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OliveOilMom
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26 Nov 2011, 12:30 pm

Oh, I pass as an NT. Easily. Just an eccentric NT. Where I'm from, eccentric is the norm. Mine are no stranger, and actually less strange, than many others.

Frances



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26 Nov 2011, 12:38 pm

Depends how strictly you define social norms. I'm not afraid to sit alone and ignore socializing in situations even when I'm pretty sure everyone judges me for it. I think they will judge me anyways, so might as well do what I want.



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26 Nov 2011, 12:43 pm

Most of the time, yes. Especially if I find myself in a church on Sunday mornings.



SkipNip
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26 Nov 2011, 12:43 pm

Sometimes. When it appears to be nothing but pretentious BS then I'll defy it out of principle.



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26 Nov 2011, 1:09 pm

Yes and no
I never ramble like i did as a kid in public
I don't have 'special interests anymore'

It's more like I have *social* 'special interests' where I am constantly deciphering the social world
at the same time i don't develop social skills and im the eternal 'social novice'


I dress like im marching to my own drum
at the same time the way I dress isn't deliberate but it's an attempt at finding the most comfortable clothing to wear as possible
Highly androgynous and i dont care wether people think im a lez, a tranny, etc, cause im neither


I'm the college crackpot..



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26 Nov 2011, 1:35 pm

Most of the time I try to just blend in, because I want to be left alone. I don't want to draw a lot of attention to myself. So I will only resist a convention or an expected behavior if I think it will get people to leave me alone. For instance I've learned to do all the "hello how are you" stuff and I will do that if it's job related or if I really like someone, but otherwise I tend to deliberately ignore people who try to engage me in it.



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26 Nov 2011, 2:01 pm

Yes because a lot of social conventions are just bloody ridiculous!

Personally if someone starts rambling to me about a special interest for example I think it is cute. They seem to be so into their subject and excited by it that I think it is a nice thing to see, so I let them ramble. I can wait to speak if I want to say anything, I don't have to speak straight away lol. Other people seem to find it annoying however. I really don't see why it has to be annoying other than in the sense that they seem to want to talk about what they want to talk about when they want to talk about it. Sometimes I think it is nicer to let people have their moment instead, it really doesn't hurt at the end of the day!

I know when I ramble it is because I am excited by something. Would it really hurt people to let me have my little bit of excitement? I mean really? There is a difference between someone who is ignoring a person to be deliberately rude and someone who gets a little over excited when they get a chance to talk about something that fascinates them. The former is annoying, the latter is a beautiful thing to see.

I once had a friend apologise for rambling on at me about mobile phones. They are not my particular fascination but he was so excited and chirpy and happy to be nattering on about it I said "don't worry about it, I find it cute" which I did. He wasn't being arrogant or deliberately rude he was just really into his subject! So I let him have his moment.

I used to have another internet friend who was diagnosed with Aspergers and whose specialist subject was music. I used to love listening to him ramble on about it and he made the most amazing sound tracks. Sometimes it is actually nice to hear other people talking. So I just listen and let them speak.

Yes ok, I fancied both of them, so I was more inclined to let them natter on, but I would rather sit and listen to them nattering about their area of interest than listen to a group NTs making small talk and gossip. That I am less patient with lol.

But to me some social conventions are idiotic, so I flout them!

Others that are in place to keep people safe or protect their rights as such, well that is different. Those I abide by.

And, yes, I know they have the right to speak but really patience is a virtue! If it is that important or urgent they are free to interrupt!



Last edited by bumble on 26 Nov 2011, 2:22 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Mummy_of_Peanut
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26 Nov 2011, 2:03 pm

I went to a parents' only mini performance at my daughter's singing workshop, today. When the kids started singing, she started to crawl about the floor and bang on the floor, like it was a drum. She always likes to be different and I thought 'OK, she's accompanying the pianist'. But, then she just crawled around like a dog and didn't sing a word. After 20 mins, she gave up and sat with us. Of course, we were really disappointed. At her show in June, she had done really well. She stood out from everyone else by a mile, but she tried very hard and got loads of compliments. I asked her why she did this today and she said that she didn't want everyone to look at her. 8O If she had done what she was supposed to be doing, the only people who would have been looking at her would have been her Daddy and I. As it was, everybody must have noticed her, so it totally backfired. I don't think I'll ever figure this girl out.


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