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A small clarification about this section

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Francesmances
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12 Jul 2012, 1:30 am

.... I actually don't like this pejorative take on male gynecologists. That's like someone with cancer wanting to be diagnosed and treated by someone with cancer. Or someone with AS wanting to be diagnosed by someone with AS.



blue_mystic
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02 Aug 2012, 11:06 am

I'd like to say something here because I see the potential for conflicts in a forum where women are encouraged to be open and honest about female-specific issues and then certain men come along, take issue with it, and the whole thing devolves into a gender war (at worst) or the topic simply dies due to fear of reprisals for speaking openly. In fact, I have seen an example of this in a recent topic on this forum. The fact remains that women are held to different social and aesthetic standards than men, which makes for a divergent and often incomparable experience of Asperger's/autism that is often downplayed, underestimated, and invalidated by some men who simply cannot understand. There is nothing worse than sharing your own personal (and often painful) experiences and then being ridiculed or treated in a dismissive and callous fashion as a result of it. While I don't believe in censorship or restricting participating in any forum, I think there needs to be a much stricter code of conduct when it comes to this one in particular because it is specifically geared toward women and women are often the dumping ground for men's emotional baggage. If women cannot post their opinions and feelings freely in this forum without fear of negative judgement, then this forum serves no purpose at all.



mv
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06 Aug 2012, 9:03 am

blue_mystic wrote:
I'd like to say something here because I see the potential for conflicts in a forum where women are encouraged to be open and honest about female-specific issues and then certain men come along, take issue with it, and the whole thing devolves into a gender war (at worst) or the topic simply dies due to fear of reprisals for speaking openly. In fact, I have seen an example of this in a recent topic on this forum. The fact remains that women are held to different social and aesthetic standards than men, which makes for a divergent and often incomparable experience of Asperger's/autism that is often downplayed, underestimated, and invalidated by some men who simply cannot understand. There is nothing worse than sharing your own personal (and often painful) experiences and then being ridiculed or treated in a dismissive and callous fashion as a result of it. While I don't believe in censorship or restricting participating in any forum, I think there needs to be a much stricter code of conduct when it comes to this one in particular because it is specifically geared toward women and women are often the dumping ground for men's emotional baggage. If women cannot post their opinions and feelings freely in this forum without fear of negative judgement, then this forum serves no purpose at all.


Hear, hear!

And welcome, blue_mystic! Feel free to come sit by me.



b9
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06 Aug 2012, 10:08 am

i never post in the women's forum except to announce that i never post there.



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06 Aug 2012, 10:28 am

Well, the Haven and PPR have special rules, so it would make sense that this forum had them too.


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MayBitsu
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10 Oct 2012, 7:52 pm

They can be rude...and not responding socially correct....one of my 2 sons is .. yes... but i found him to be very sensitive as well.. just not understand why you and I are offended... I have had to explain to him over the years in detail so he would know...it is purely data to him at first..
It just does not compute at first in the mind of a business only HF autistic male ..
Now he is teaching me.. :D



Lavenders
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07 Mar 2013, 6:48 pm

Wow, no one has posted here since October?

well ok... Happy International Women's Day tomorrow!

I am going to try and force myself to go to the activities in my community. I need to get out from under all this social isolation I have been experiencing for the past year and a half or so.


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appletheclown
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02 May 2013, 7:54 pm

spongy wrote:
Angel_ryan wrote:
Some would consider it talking the high road if there were both separate male and female forms I mean we use different bathrooms don't we? If a male wants to troll the female thread I think we'd weed him out pretty quickly not only that I'd be surprised if he wasn't murdered. I think any guy that did created a profile to view it would get bored pretty fast even if he wasn't trolling. If the guys have their own form they have no right to complain. If anything It'd make wrong planet stand out more positively because yes women are considered a minority in the autism community and we are different in general, but the males who created/monitor the site would get that right?

Thats the thing. Guys dont have their own forum.

So making a forum only accessible to a certain gender and leaving the other gender out would make wp stand out in a bad way because its clear discrimination against males.

Again I cant do any changes so you should be contacting alex and see if he is willing to do it but considering what I just said and that he has ruled out the possibility of a male board I doubt it´ll happen.

Also this site is monitored by females as well(as pointed out on my previous response to deconstruction you can approach hyperlexian for any concerns related to female issues because she is a female).


As for nat4200 suggestion the software of this forum is pretty outdated because alex isnt keen on changing it. If he hasnt updated it to any of the more current/more advanced ones and this doesnt require much effort from him I dont think he´ll be willing to tweak the current software to implement the changes you are suggesting.
However feel free to approach him and see how he replies.


Honestly, I have been waiting to start a thread where women can insult me free of charge. Do I really have to do this? If women have a women's thread, at least make it women's only, there is no point in making a thread for women if I can post on it. I can now understand the frustration of all the females here. Sorry we guys are such meanies sometimes... (p.s. am I allowed to open a thread where I let women swear at me, I am sure it would relieve some tension?)


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appletheclown
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02 May 2013, 8:02 pm

blue_mystic wrote:
I'd like to say something here because I see the potential for conflicts in a forum where women are encouraged to be open and honest about female-specific issues and then certain men come along, take issue with it, and the whole thing devolves into a gender war (at worst) or the topic simply dies due to fear of reprisals for speaking openly. In fact, I have seen an example of this in a recent topic on this forum. The fact remains that women are held to different social and aesthetic standards than men, which makes for a divergent and often incomparable experience of Asperger's/autism that is often downplayed, underestimated, and invalidated by some men who simply cannot understand. There is nothing worse than sharing your own personal (and often painful) experiences and then being ridiculed or treated in a dismissive and callous fashion as a result of it. While I don't believe in censorship or restricting participating in any forum, I think there needs to be a much stricter code of conduct when it comes to this one in particular because it is specifically geared toward women and women are often the dumping ground for men's emotional baggage. If women cannot post their opinions and feelings freely in this forum without fear of negative judgement, then this forum serves no purpose at all.


I agree, feel free to dump your emotional baggage on me, I am your stress ball.


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03 May 2013, 4:28 am

appletheclown wrote:
spongy wrote:
Angel_ryan wrote:
Some would consider it talking the high road if there were both separate male and female forms I mean we use different bathrooms don't we? If a male wants to troll the female thread I think we'd weed him out pretty quickly not only that I'd be surprised if he wasn't murdered. I think any guy that did created a profile to view it would get bored pretty fast even if he wasn't trolling. If the guys have their own form they have no right to complain. If anything It'd make wrong planet stand out more positively because yes women are considered a minority in the autism community and we are different in general, but the males who created/monitor the site would get that right?

Thats the thing. Guys dont have their own forum.

So making a forum only accessible to a certain gender and leaving the other gender out would make wp stand out in a bad way because its clear discrimination against males.

Again I cant do any changes so you should be contacting alex and see if he is willing to do it but considering what I just said and that he has ruled out the possibility of a male board I doubt it´ll happen.

Also this site is monitored by females as well(as pointed out on my previous response to deconstruction you can approach hyperlexian for any concerns related to female issues because she is a female).


As for nat4200 suggestion the software of this forum is pretty outdated because alex isnt keen on changing it. If he hasnt updated it to any of the more current/more advanced ones and this doesnt require much effort from him I dont think he´ll be willing to tweak the current software to implement the changes you are suggesting.
However feel free to approach him and see how he replies.


Honestly, I have been waiting to start a thread where women can insult me free of charge. Do I really have to do this? If women have a women's thread, at least make it women's only, there is no point in making a thread for women if I can post on it. I can now understand the frustration of all the females here. Sorry we guys are such meanies sometimes... (p.s. am I allowed to open a thread where I let women swear at me, I am sure it would relieve some tension?)

If we could make a decission of this kind the males forum would have been reinstated a long time ago.
Sadly as it is it is beyond our reach to change some things on this forum( rules, sections and in this case access to sections).

I don´t know if it was in this particular thread but members pointed out that quite a lot of females come accross this forum by googleing.
If we were to restrict access google could no longer retrieve data from here so you´d no longer find this on the asperger women results.

As it is alex wants to keep every forum accesible to google excluding both adult sections and member section and he is the owner at the end of the day so its his call.

I see you went ahead with the thread creation, not sure how it ll help but so far it doesnt look too badly



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14 Oct 2013, 2:55 pm

The only advice i'd make is to women. Seeing as there is no respect from our male members on here and I'd go as far as to say it breaches on sexual harassment and threatening behaviour. If your going to do that then you ought to know who you're dealing with. CLARIFICATION- THIS IS A WOMENS TOPICAL FORUM, respected by the women who use it. Men come along in their hoardes to abuse this section so maybe the section shouldn't be used by anybody.

There's enough unnecessary slagging off on here as it is, without having more predators stalking female users.

I'm getting sick of it.



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21 Nov 2013, 11:11 pm

spongy wrote:
Apparently there have been some doubts about this so Im going to try to clear things for newcomers that may have similar issues.

This section is accessible to both males and females.

Its meant to be a place where females can feel free to discuss any issue they wish(as long as they are respecting the opposite gender which is a requirement on this site´s rules) and any male can give their input as long as they are trying to be helpfull/supportive.


I thought the clarification was going to be about how the whole concept of the forum was wack, because women should "feel free to be themselves" without ugly misogynistic attacks...oh, anywhere on the website. And that the idea of clearing away a little corner labeled as misogyny-free, while leaving the rest to be its delightful horrifying-about-women self, is itself kind of horrible.



MoCoffee
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30 Nov 2013, 10:01 am

It appears that this particular forum is not particularly helpful. The complaints that it is NOT a place where women can be comfortable posting has been ongoing since 2011 with no resolution. Perhaps it's time to retire it.


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17 Dec 2013, 11:16 pm

Or perhaps it's time to make the forum a place where women aren't under constant misogynistic assault.



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17 Dec 2013, 11:32 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
Or perhaps it's time to make the forum a place where women aren't under constant misogynistic assault.


This was stated at the very beginning but let me repeat it again:

There are several female moderators, several of them(puddingmouse, whoAmI, solvejg,schneekugel happen to be the currently active ones and I missed one of them when I listed them an hour ago)

If you ever feel uncomfortable at this or any other section you can drop a line to anyone around at the mod attention thread or you can privately contact any of the members listed above.

We cant keep up with every thread and we cant know what makes each member uncomfortable. Talking, instead of throwing out accusations is how we try to sort things here



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22 Dec 2013, 9:57 pm

It's more a place where women can go to particularly read advice about issues that affect them. If all the threads about menstruation, bras, miscarriage, sexual harassment (not that men don't get sexually harassed, but it is particularly a big problem for women), contraceptive pills, etc where in other forums, they would get lost amongst all the other threads and the replies wouldn't be as helpful. I think Alex's descriptions of each forum are playful, but the real purpose is a lot deeper for each one than the descriptions say.

Like spongy said, if the Women's forum in any way isn't a safe place for women to discuss these issues, I will be very open to doing something about it. But you need to tell me what the issue is specifically, first.


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