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Good/Great Books on Love & Dating Rules?

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RikersBeard
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04 Dec 2011, 2:01 pm

Quote:
I believe you are rewriting the rules as to what you would like women to do while dating you.


I'm really not. I'm only trying to help, so follow these rules at your own peril.


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spongy
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04 Dec 2011, 2:24 pm

Taupey wrote:
spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:
RikersBeard wrote:
You mentioned "The Rules" a quick google search found these "gems" which are apparently taken from the book.

Quote:
Rule 1: Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”

Rule 2: Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance)

Rule 3: Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

Rule 4: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

Rule 5: Don’t Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls

Rule 6: Always End Phone Calls First

Rule 7: Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday

Rule 8: Fill Up Your Time before the Date

Rule 11: Always End the Date First

Rule 12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day

Rule 13: Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week

Rule 14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date

Rule 15: Don’t Rush into Sex


I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems like good advice if you want to become an insufferable cow. This sort of thing might fly if it was used by a 20 year old who was fending off admirers left, right and centre (thinking about it most dating books are probably aimed at 18-35 year olds). In my opinion only rules #14 and #15 have any value whatsoever, and don't even get me started on rule #1... I mean how is that even helpful.

You might try looking for books targeted at your age group if you can find them. But if you want my humble advice, pick the guy you like the most :) become as friendly, caring and supportive towards him as you can be and be upfront about what you want from the relationship and where you want it to go. Just wing the rest. :)
So you are saying since I am an older woman and not fending off admirers left and right and centre, these rules or most of these rules would not apply to me. Interesting thing to say for someone who is supposed to be only 28 years old. It sounds like you are assuming more than you should be. You're very negative about it all too. Why is that? Can you elaborate and tell me exactly why most of these wouldn't apply?

RikersBeard wrote:
I'd be highly skeptical of contemporary dating books, in my experience they tend to tell you what you want to hear rather than offering good advice. For each one you find there will be at least one more that completely contradicts everything in it. Maybe look for things written before 1960 :P at least it was consistent.


Taupey wrote:
Can you give me some examples of what you're talking about so I know what to avoid?


I'm still waiting on and looking forwards to seeing examples of what you were talking about before.

The rules are considered to be a joke by most people.
As a matter of fact the writers are now divorced which should give you an idea on how much they knew about relationships.

As for advice read he is just not that into you to learn what kind of men you need to avoid(not that Ive read it or anything :lol: )?
What? Aren't you the same person who PMed me very recently and told me that I should leave WrongPlanet? Yes, I think you are.

I didn´t tell you to leave wrongplanet. I said that you were a very valuable member but you seemed to be under a lot of stress at the moment and a small break might be benefitial because you have been attacking several members that just tried to help you several times in the past 2 weeks.


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Taupey
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04 Dec 2011, 2:45 pm

spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:
spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:
RikersBeard wrote:
You mentioned "The Rules" a quick google search found these "gems" which are apparently taken from the book.

Quote:
Rule 1: Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”

Rule 2: Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance)

Rule 3: Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

Rule 4: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

Rule 5: Don’t Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls

Rule 6: Always End Phone Calls First

Rule 7: Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday

Rule 8: Fill Up Your Time before the Date

Rule 11: Always End the Date First

Rule 12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day

Rule 13: Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week

Rule 14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date

Rule 15: Don’t Rush into Sex


I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems like good advice if you want to become an insufferable cow. This sort of thing might fly if it was used by a 20 year old who was fending off admirers left, right and centre (thinking about it most dating books are probably aimed at 18-35 year olds). In my opinion only rules #14 and #15 have any value whatsoever, and don't even get me started on rule #1... I mean how is that even helpful.

You might try looking for books targeted at your age group if you can find them. But if you want my humble advice, pick the guy you like the most :) become as friendly, caring and supportive towards him as you can be and be upfront about what you want from the relationship and where you want it to go. Just wing the rest. :)
So you are saying since I am an older woman and not fending off admirers left and right and centre, these rules or most of these rules would not apply to me. Interesting thing to say for someone who is supposed to be only 28 years old. It sounds like you are assuming more than you should be. You're very negative about it all too. Why is that? Can you elaborate and tell me exactly why most of these wouldn't apply?

RikersBeard wrote:
I'd be highly skeptical of contemporary dating books, in my experience they tend to tell you what you want to hear rather than offering good advice. For each one you find there will be at least one more that completely contradicts everything in it. Maybe look for things written before 1960 :P at least it was consistent.


Taupey wrote:
Can you give me some examples of what you're talking about so I know what to avoid?


I'm still waiting on and looking forwards to seeing examples of what you were talking about before.

The rules are considered to be a joke by most people.
As a matter of fact the writers are now divorced which should give you an idea on how much they knew about relationships.

As for advice read he is just not that into you to learn what kind of men you need to avoid(not that Ive read it or anything :lol: )?
What? Aren't you the same person who PMed me very recently and told me that I should leave WrongPlanet? Yes, I think you are.

I didn´t tell you to leave wrongplanet. I said that you were a very valuable member but you seemed to be under a lot of stress at the moment and a small break might be benefitial because you have been attacking several members that just tried to help you several times in the past 2 weeks.


That was an extremely inappropriate condescending patronizing pm written for one purpose only - to make me feel bad about myself for standing up for myself and I'm going to be sending it to Alex and many others as well. You may fool some people around here but you are not fooling me with your little pretending to be concerned mind games. I was being harassed (not so unlike right now) and you know it and you also know by who. I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.


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Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.


spongy
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04 Dec 2011, 2:56 pm

Taupey wrote:

That was an extremely inappropriate condescending patronizing pm written for one purpose only - to make me feel bad about myself for standing up for myself and I'm going to be sending it to Alex and many others as well. You may fool some people around here but you are not fooling me with your little pretending to be concerned mind games. I was being harassed (not so unlike right now) and you know it and you also know by who. I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.

Feel free to resend it to whomever you wish.
Moog/hyperlexian/Cornflake are aware of the pm and thought that it was quite appropiate.

That pm only had the intention of making you aware that you seem to have changed quite a lot frequently and several members miss the nicer Taupey.


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RikersBeard
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04 Dec 2011, 2:57 pm

Quote:
I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.


Ooooooookay...

I think Spongy is on the money, you need a holiday.


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Taupey
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04 Dec 2011, 4:49 pm

spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:

That was an extremely inappropriate condescending patronizing pm written for one purpose only - to make me feel bad about myself for standing up for myself and I'm going to be sending it to Alex and many others as well. You may fool some people around here but you are not fooling me with your little pretending to be concerned mind games. I was being harassed (not so unlike right now) and you know it and you also know by who. I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.

Feel free to resend it to whomever you wish.
Moog/hyperlexian/Cornflake are aware of the pm and thought that it was quite appropiate.

That pm only had the intention of making you aware that you seem to have changed quite a lot frequently and several members miss the nicer Taupey.


The people I'm friends with have said nothing of the sort and they have actually been supportive to me about all of this. That pm was written for one purpose only and that's to make me feel like the problem is me when it's not. As you know already the problem is a psychopathic narcissist hacker who happens to be a professional published writer and journalist and who has been stalking me for the last two years and who pretends he's different people he's not on the websites I go to just to cause me trouble and upset me and make me feel bad about myself. He is a very sick man who plays very sick games. You know, I've already filed a report with IC3 which I believe is part of the FBI and Justice Department. Are you aware that people can get into serious trouble for filing false reports? They can and I'm dead serious. Other authorities have been contacted as well. I have witnesses, AT&T have witnessed him manipulating the WiFi signals on my blackberry. Tell me why you are so Hell bent on discrediting me and making me look bad? Why are you refusing to acknowledge what I am saying, no one else has except some of you moderators here? And I find that extremely peculiar behavior. I don't get this at other websites, they don't doubt what I have said. As a moderator, one would think you would be asking me questions about him and acting like you really should be, concerned about him? But yet you are so focused on discrediting me and what I am saying. Now that is strange behavior. I've never met Moog, Hyperlexian or Cornflake in real life but one would think if they really are who they say they are, they would be far more concerned about this guy who is stalking, harassing and bullying me instead of trying to discredit what I have said about this guy (for no apparent reason) and acting like and saying that I am the problem - that's of course if they are using their own mind to think about what is happening, what has been said and forming their own opinions instead allowing others to influence them with suggestions and leading them around by the nose. Some people are so eager to please others and therefore easily manipulated.

So now tell me, why are you trying to discount what I have said? Do you feel threatened by me being on this website and saying what I have? What are you so afraid of that has caused you to behave the way you are right now? You claim to care about me in your pm, Spongey, or whomever you really are. I don't think I have ever said one word to you in a comment on this website or that you have said one to me and I didn't even know you existed until I recieved the pm from you. How is it that you came to care about me? And if you really care about me so much, why is it that you keep carrying on the way you do and trying to cause arguments with me instead of leaving me alone. I believe we would all have a lot less problems around here if you didn't try so hard to create them. You do know by now that I am physically ill and arguing about anything with anyone makes me more ill but yet you keep on and on harassing me and starting arguments with me. Explain yourself please if you possibly can.


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Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
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You are very likely an Aspie.


Taupey
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04 Dec 2011, 4:55 pm

RikersBeard wrote:
Quote:
I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.


Ooooooookay...

I think Spongy is on the money, you need a holiday.
I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to spongy and it's not your business unless you are this spongy. But for some strange reason you have made it your business and I find it really peculiar that you would respond the way you have responded.


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Whatever you think you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. ~Goethe

Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.


spongy
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04 Dec 2011, 4:58 pm

Taupey wrote:
spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:

That was an extremely inappropriate condescending patronizing pm written for one purpose only - to make me feel bad about myself for standing up for myself and I'm going to be sending it to Alex and many others as well. You may fool some people around here but you are not fooling me with your little pretending to be concerned mind games. I was being harassed (not so unlike right now) and you know it and you also know by who. I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.

Feel free to resend it to whomever you wish.
Moog/hyperlexian/Cornflake are aware of the pm and thought that it was quite appropiate.

That pm only had the intention of making you aware that you seem to have changed quite a lot frequently and several members miss the nicer Taupey.


The people I'm friends with have said nothing of the sort and they have actually been supportive to me about all of this. That pm was written for one purpose only and that's to make me feel like the problem is me when it's not. As you know already the problem is a psychopathic narcissist hacker who happens to be a professional published writer and journalist and who has been stalking me for the last two years and who pretends he's different people he's not on the websites I go to just to cause me trouble and upset me and make me feel bad about myself. He is a very sick man who plays very sick games. You know, I've already filed a report with IC3 which I believe is part of the FBI and Justice Department. Are you aware that people can get into serious trouble for filing false reports? They can and I'm dead serious. Other authorities have been contacted as well. I have witnesses, AT&T have witnessed him manipulating the WiFi signals on my blackberry. Tell me why you are so Hell bent on discrediting me and making me look bad? Why are you refusing to acknowledge what I am saying, no one else has except some of you moderators here? And I find that extremely peculiar behavior. I don't get this at other websites, they don't doubt what I have said. As a moderator, one would think you would be asking me questions about him and acting like you really should be, concerned about him? But yet you are so focused on discrediting me and what I am saying. Now that is strange behavior. I've never met Moog, Hyperlexian or Cornflake in real life but one would think if they really are who they say they are, they would be far more concerned about this guy who is stalking, harassing and bullying me instead of trying to discredit what I have said about this guy (for no apparent reason) and acting like and saying that I am the problem - that's of course if they are using their own mind to think about what is happening, what has been said and forming their own opinions instead allowing others to influence them with suggestions and leading them around by the nose. Some people are so eager to please others and therefore easily manipulated.

So now tell me, why are you trying to discount what I have said? Do you feel threatened by me being on this website and saying what I have? What are you so afraid of that has caused you to behave the way you are right now? You claim to care about me in your pm, Spongey, or whomever you really are. I don't think I have ever said one word to you in a comment on this website or that you have said one to me and I didn't even know you existed until I recieved the pm from you. How is it that you came to care about me? And if you really care about me so much, why is it that you keep carrying on the way you do and trying to cause arguments with me instead of leaving me alone. I believe we would all have a lot less problems around here if you didn't try so hard to create them. You do know by now that I am physically ill and arguing about anything with anyone makes me more ill but yet you keep on and on harassing me and starting arguments with me. Explain yourself please if you possibly can.

Im not discrediting anything youve said.

However weve been approached by members that were very hurt about your false accusations because they are now concerned other people see them as fake as well... and we are trying to make sure you understand that calling someone out on the forum as fake(or even insinuating it) is against the rules

As for not having approached you before I happen to have very low self steem and Im allways concerned about members making fun of me/ignoring me if I approach them and things getting awkward... but I did find some of your posts very interesting and think you are doing a great job interacting with some of the younger members.


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Taupey
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04 Dec 2011, 6:41 pm

spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:
spongy wrote:
Taupey wrote:

That was an extremely inappropriate condescending patronizing pm written for one purpose only - to make me feel bad about myself for standing up for myself and I'm going to be sending it to Alex and many others as well. You may fool some people around here but you are not fooling me with your little pretending to be concerned mind games. I was being harassed (not so unlike right now) and you know it and you also know by who. I hope to God all of this comes out one day in the press and media. I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Because people really need to know the truth.

Feel free to resend it to whomever you wish.
Moog/hyperlexian/Cornflake are aware of the pm and thought that it was quite appropiate.

That pm only had the intention of making you aware that you seem to have changed quite a lot frequently and several members miss the nicer Taupey.


The people I'm friends with have said nothing of the sort and they have actually been supportive to me about all of this. That pm was written for one purpose only and that's to make me feel like the problem is me when it's not. As you know already the problem is a psychopathic narcissist hacker who happens to be a professional published writer and journalist and who has been stalking me for the last two years and who pretends he's different people he's not on the websites I go to just to cause me trouble and upset me and make me feel bad about myself. He is a very sick man who plays very sick games. You know, I've already filed a report with IC3 which I believe is part of the FBI and Justice Department. Are you aware that people can get into serious trouble for filing false reports? They can and I'm dead serious. Other authorities have been contacted as well. I have witnesses, AT&T have witnessed him manipulating the WiFi signals on my blackberry. Tell me why you are so Hell bent on discrediting me and making me look bad? Why are you refusing to acknowledge what I am saying, no one else has except some of you moderators here? And I find that extremely peculiar behavior. I don't get this at other websites, they don't doubt what I have said. As a moderator, one would think you would be asking me questions about him and acting like you really should be, concerned about him? But yet you are so focused on discrediting me and what I am saying. Now that is strange behavior. I've never met Moog, Hyperlexian or Cornflake in real life but one would think if they really are who they say they are, they would be far more concerned about this guy who is stalking, harassing and bullying me instead of trying to discredit what I have said about this guy (for no apparent reason) and acting like and saying that I am the problem - that's of course if they are using their own mind to think about what is happening, what has been said and forming their own opinions instead allowing others to influence them with suggestions and leading them around by the nose. Some people are so eager to please others and therefore easily manipulated.

So now tell me, why are you trying to discount what I have said? Do you feel threatened by me being on this website and saying what I have? What are you so afraid of that has caused you to behave the way you are right now? You claim to care about me in your pm, Spongey, or whomever you really are. I don't think I have ever said one word to you in a comment on this website or that you have said one to me and I didn't even know you existed until I recieved the pm from you. How is it that you came to care about me? And if you really care about me so much, why is it that you keep carrying on the way you do and trying to cause arguments with me instead of leaving me alone. I believe we would all have a lot less problems around here if you didn't try so hard to create them. You do know by now that I am physically ill and arguing about anything with anyone makes me more ill but yet you keep on and on harassing me and starting arguments with me. Explain yourself please if you possibly can.

Im not discrediting anything youve said.


Yes you have and you still are now discrediting what I have said and am saying. Things I have said have been discounted by moderators for no apparent reason recently and yes, that is beyond strange behavior especially when I get the opposite reaction on other websites and something other than what would be a normal reaction. If you got a strange reaction from someone you would question it, yourself, no doubt, most people do. And you are not answering my questions as to why this is being done here.

spongy wrote:
However weve been approached by members that were very hurt about your false accusations because they are now concerned other people see them as fake as well... and we are trying to make sure you understand that calling someone out on the forum as fake(or even insinuating it) is against the rules.


Oh because I questioned peculiar behavior as to why someone that who is supposed to be so young and beautiful and seem to have so much going for her, would consider me a threat and want to harass and bully me here on this website. Is that against the rules too? It was still wrong and it still happened to me so I have a legitimate compliant that hasn't been properly addressed and I have the right to ask and wonder and asked what are this person's reason for behaving badly towards me. And that's what you tried to discredit in the pm and are doing now in this thread.

spongy wrote:
As for not having approached you before I happen to have very low self steem and Im allways concerned about members making fun of me/ignoring me if I approach them and things getting awkward... but I did find some of your posts very interesting and think you are doing a great job interacting with some of the younger members.


It's obvious to me at this point in time that someone does not like it when I stand up to harassment and bullying here at WrongPlanet and that's what's going on here. And if you really did CARE about me like you CLAIM you do in the pm you sent me, you would of never tried to engage me into an argument in this thread like you have done today and are doing now. I believe you have done this to purposefully to get me stressed and upset because you know it will make me sicker than I already am. Your actions speak louder than your words. Therefore I believe you lied and it makes me wonder what else have you lied about? I'm still waiting for my questions to be answered.


_________________
Whatever you think you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. ~Goethe

Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.