Mr Nice Guys
Most females assume that guys are only after sex without any strings attached.
It could also be fair for males to assume that most modern women are feminists with power suits who want to be powerful man eaters like Margaret Thatcher or Oprah Winfrey and other strong powerful female leaders.
"Once a woman is made man's equal, she becomes his superior" - Margaret Thatcher
Last edited by SadAspie112 on 12 Dec 2011, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
i didn't mention sex, nor did i say anything about it bein men vs. women.
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Nice guys are pigeon holed as friends by most females they meet. The females see the guys as weak and they can manipulate and use the guys until either the guy gives up or another guy replaces him as a close male friend she can rely upon.
Females empowered by Margaret Thatcher and other man eating power driven women now have the upper hand over average nice guys.
Alpha males and bad guys tend to have a lot more success with dating females than the average non-Alpha male Nice guy. The so called Nice Guys can not compete against dominant Alpha males/Bad Boys.
An Alpha male is like a lion who gains mating rights over more females/lionesses and he continues to beats his challenges and maintains his dominance.
^^^pure nonsense.
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MXH
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Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
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Location: Here i stand and face the rain
Nice guys can easily be taken advantage of by others.
You know something, I learned this real bad in elementary school. I knew al the way through highschool that nobody really cared about me. They just wated something out of me. So I decided wether what they had to offer me was worth what they wanted from me. As bad as that sounds.
Nice guys can easily be taken advantage of by others.
naive men and women are equally at risk for being taken advantage of. men don't have the corner on that.
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(...)
I agree, Az29 doesn't look plain, she looks very pretty. But I believe her about being ignored by males. In my experience, guys overlook/ignore pretty girls all the time, and the girls they chase are often (though not always) less pretty than the girls they ignore, imo.
Isn't this a self contradiction?
No, because many men don't really go after pretty girls. They go after the popular ones, the ones that are considered conventionally attractive. To be that, you don't have to be pretty; you just need to be dressed up, confident, and to act like you know how great you are. A shy girl can be pretty, but if she is introverted and if she doesn't dress up, many guys will ignore her.
Women do this, too. They often chase after certain guys that are considered a prize (because of their high position in the social hierarchy), while ignoring guys who might be equally great, good looking, etc. just because they lack social skills.
So when I said guys focus too much on looks, I meant that they focus on a woman's image, and not her actual facial features or body, even if they think they do.
yes, deconstruction, that is a very common occurrence for both genders. i find that effect is especially noticeable with idols/stars. most of them are no better looking than many people that we all know in real life, but these familiar people aren't all spangled up and packaged with the best clothing/makeup/hair/PR that money can buy.
people who are outgoing and who promote themselves as good-looking catches will seems better looking than they are, whereas shy or reticent people with better features may be overlooked. confidence is a real tipping point. i've seen the difference in my own experiences. half my life ago i was probably objectively better looking but i have more of an effect on people now that i am more self-assured (though i have a long way to go, i am much changed).
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I want to have a male friend, badly. But they always turn me down.
Also this ^ In my experience guys never wanted to just be friends with me, it always led to them wanting more. When I would decline, stating that just friends was all I wanted that would be it they'd move on. I know it must be awful for guys to get their hopes up that some girl they are friendly with may agree to more then just friendship but what about the other side of that coin? What about us girls who think we've made a male friend only to find out all he wanted was to get in our pants? When we turn him down (after not leading him on) he stops speaking to us. I guess it sucks all around!
Well, it wasn't my experience. Guys never wanted to be friends with me because... Many of them want to be friends only with girls they are attracted to. Since guys generally treated me like I was invisible, there were no attempts at friendship (at least from their part). Many of them wanted to be friends with the girls they chased after.
I don't think I ever friend-zoned anybody and I was never friend-zoned myself.
It may feel that way, but just because he cuts off contact doesn't mean he doesn't care. Really, the more I care, the less I want to be around the person after I'm rejected. Aside from the raw hurt, there's also the probability that he is deeply embarrassed at misreading her.
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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
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It may feel that way, but just because he cuts off contact doesn't mean he doesn't care. Really, the more I care, the less I want to be around the person after I'm rejected. Aside from the raw hurt, there's also the probability that he is deeply embarrassed at misreading her.
whatever the reasons are, it can be an equally painful rejection for the person that wants to be friends.
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It may feel that way, but just because he cuts off contact doesn't mean he doesn't care. Really, the more I care, the less I want to be around the person after I'm rejected. Aside from the raw hurt, there's also the probability that he is deeply embarrassed at misreading her.
Again, this.
Though I kind of think that hyperlexian has a point too, so... the only real conclusion that I seem to be able to draw from this is that nothing sucks more than unrequited love.
Painful, I'm sure. I'm not so sure the pain is equal though.
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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse - The View
Painful, I'm sure. I'm not so sure the pain is equal though.
sometimes it is. it depends how much the friendship means to the person.
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You're probably right. I guess I've always invested more of myself into romantic relationships than friendships, but if someone is doing the opposite then yeah it probably would hurt just as much. I forget sometimes to try to remove the filter of my own experiences.
For real.
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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse - The View
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