I feel like I have no place in this world.

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SadAspie112
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08 Dec 2011, 1:29 am

I feel like I have no place in this world. I have extreme social phobia, extreme social anxiety and socially isolated. I feel like a victim who has been persecuted by society. I am losing hope that my life may turn around for the better in the future.

Are there any other Aspies out there who are in a similar situation as me?



Chronos
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08 Dec 2011, 2:42 am

SadAspie112 wrote:
I feel like I have no place in this world. I have extreme social phobia, extreme social anxiety and socially isolated. I feel like a victim who has been persecuted by society. I am losing hope that my life may turn around for the better in the future.

Are there any other Aspies out there who are in a similar situation as me?


What is the root of your social phobia?



Teredia
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08 Dec 2011, 2:55 am

I have been in that possition in life before i know its no easy feat to get out of. I know if you're stuck in one location it can cause it to make it worse.
I found having a total change on seenary or a sea change helped me, (my personal story), i moved back to my home country and found that the nice hot humid tropical enviroment helped me get back on track as well as all myc hildhood friends were here and accepted me for who i am, cause i have never changed since i was a child =)



lotuspuppy
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08 Dec 2011, 2:59 am

I had social phobia in high school. I would panic in social situations, and remember taking clonezepam so I could get through my graduation party without screaming. I spent many years erasing it. I feel it's largely gone now, and I haven't had a panic attack in years. I am still miserable, but that's a different story.

BTW, eat plenty of food. I am most susceptible to panicky conditions when I am hungry.



pete1061
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08 Dec 2011, 3:20 am

I frequently feel the same way. It can be a real challenge to keep from slipping into the abyss of loneliness.
Even though us aspies can be socially challenged, we are still human, and part of being human is a need for contact with others. We need that just as much as we need air & water. We're a social species, like it or not.

I find that I have to push myself to get out and be in regular with some kind of at least a small social group.
There lies the challenging part, finding a group in which you feel comfortable, a group what is accepting of your aspie quirkiness. One you have found a group of similar interest or like mind, regular contact is needed to build bonds.

I don't know you sadaspie, but I suggest exploring a few different kinds of settings. It will be hard. There will be the constant urge to flee. But you have to ask yourself what is harder, facing a fear, or living in painful loneliness.

At least remember that there others like you out there, you are not totally alone in spirit.


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SadAspie112
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08 Dec 2011, 3:22 am

Chronos wrote:
SadAspie112 wrote:
I feel like I have no place in this world. I have extreme social phobia, extreme social anxiety and socially isolated. I feel like a victim who has been persecuted by society. I am losing hope that my life may turn around for the better in the future.

Are there any other Aspies out there who are in a similar situation as me?


What is the root of your social phobia?


i developed social phobia in my childhood and it has lasted my entire life. i was bullied, harassed and intimidated and made to feel like a social outcast for no reason at all. i am an adult now and i have extreme social, extreme social anxiety and i hate interacting with strangers.

the bullying and harassment stopped years ago but i have become more socially isolated and the social phobia and anxiety have become worse over time.



questor
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08 Dec 2011, 3:58 am

I also have difficulties dealing with social situations. I am basically a hermit--by choice, as dealing with social situations is too uncomfortable, and too unpleasant for me. I am able to handle errands okay, but I rarely attend any social functions.

As for finding a "place" for yourself, you must find or make that "place" for yourself. I have managed to do that, by now living alone. I control the temperature here, and the noise types and levels--TV and radio--so my social and sound sensitivity are more managable now. I get to eat what I want, when I want, without having to put up with criticism about my dietary habits. I get along better with my relatives now that we don't live together. Their unmeetable expectations of me drove us all crazy, but the separate living situation has made things much better. I do the stuff I want to do, when I want to do it, and don't do stuff I really don't want to do unless it is really necessary.

So, make your own life style "place". Don't rely on others to make you happy, or at least feel okay. They can't do that for you. You have to manage that on your own. Because of my Asperger's Syndrome, and the problems it has caused with dealing with others, and with my other health issues, I have suffered with life long depression. Although I don't feel happy, now that I live alone, I feel "okay" most of the time, and I am glad to be there. It sure beats being depressed most of the time.

What you need to do is start "tweaking" the different aspects of your life to gradually improve your situation. It's kind of like fiddling with the dials of a radio to get better reception of the station you are listening to. In this case the station is your mood situation. Try to eliminate, or at least cut down on stuff that upsets you, and try to increase the stuff that makes you feel better.

One of the other posters mentioned that being too hungry makes them get upset more easily. This happens to me too, and everyone else. It is at least partly based on low blood sugar caused by not eating. You also short change your brain on nutrients and bio mood chemicals when you go too long between meals, so you will get upset more easily. It can even make you act somewhat crazy at times, so do eat.

I have proof of the craziness from not eating. Many years ago one of my uncles passed away. My mother, sister and I were to go to the viewing, stay overnight at a motel there, and then attend the funeral. It turns out that my sister, who drove us the long distance to get there, was dieting. She had no breakfast before leaving and no lunch when we got there. Then, it was very late at night when we wanted to have dinner after the viewing, and after visiting with some relatives, and most of the local eateries were closed. My sister drove us around for quite a while before we found an open place to eat. Because she had skipped two meals, and was late for the third one, she was getting extremely nuts, and nasty, too. After she took us back to the motel, she--our driver--got even crazier and meaner, and went home, leaving me and my mother with no transportation to attend the funeral, or go to visit my newly widowed aunt, or to get home. Fortunately, some other relatives were staying at the motel and helped us get around while we were there. Another relative who lived in the town next to ours, was also at the funeral, and she brought us home afterwards. (It was her father who had passed away). Everyone was shocked by my sister's crazy and nasty behavior. Needless to say, we didn't rely on my sister for long journeys after that. This happened just a short time before I got my driver's license and my first car, so I wasn't able to do the driving myself that time. After that, I did the long distance driving for my mother.

So, take care of yourself, including about eating, and tweak your life style to make things better, and you will eventually feel better. And remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau



Chronos
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08 Dec 2011, 4:03 am

SadAspie112 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspie112 wrote:
I feel like I have no place in this world. I have extreme social phobia, extreme social anxiety and socially isolated. I feel like a victim who has been persecuted by society. I am losing hope that my life may turn around for the better in the future.

Are there any other Aspies out there who are in a similar situation as me?


What is the root of your social phobia?


i developed social phobia in my childhood and it has lasted my entire life. i was bullied, harassed and intimidated and made to feel like a social outcast for no reason at all. i am an adult now and i have extreme social, extreme social anxiety and i hate interacting with strangers.

the bullying and harassment stopped years ago but i have become more socially isolated and the social phobia and anxiety have become worse over time.


Most people do not know you are not their equal until you tell them.



Joe90
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08 Dec 2011, 3:17 pm

I have social phobia and an anxiety disorder. I worry about absolutely everything. I am a pessimistic thinker - always thinking something unexplainably awful is about to happen to me, and I'm also constantly feeling awkward all the time. By that I mean, I never know where to stand in a shop (I always get in the way), when to cross the road (just in case a car suddenly zooms round the corner), whether to wait or to go when getting off or on a crowded bus (because if I wait I feel I am holding up the queue, if I go I feel I am pushing in), whether to look at somebody as they pass in the street (because if I do they will stare back at me, if I don't they might be confident and want me to look and so will look at me more), and if I walk into a shop to see my friend who works at the till I never know what to do if she is dealing with loads of customers (I don't like to shout her name across the shop in case she might not hear but everyone else will and they might look at me and think, ''who's she shouting to?'', and I don't like to stand there awkwardly next to the till in case she hasn't seen me and might be very busy and will result in me just standing there like a lemon for ages, and I never know when to walk away because she might just see me walk out the door and think I have gone funny or something (because just because most people ''go funny'' at silly things they seem to think I go funny at silly things, which I don't.)

Yep - ''Awkward'' is my middle name. But all that is because of lack of confidence and self-esteem, but if I forced myself to become confident, I know I would just end up making a fool of myself. I do fear rejection and embarrassment. And it is a phobia.


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