How can a pessimist become an optimist?

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I am a very pessimistic person and this may be the reason why I have no friends.
I have noticed that other people dislike negativity. Most people seem to be so positive.
I see many optimistic aspies on here. Some are even optimistic about being AS.
I am also bipolar which makes me even more negative at times.

Becoming an optimist is impossible. You should never try as you'll always fail.

Joking aside, I could understand how your experiences in life have influenced your pessimism as they've influenced mine, too. I'm still largely pessimistic as there's a lot of unknowns and inexperience on my part, but what I've found to make me a bit more optimistic is picking a direction in life, making goals in that direction, making a plan to achieve those goals and pursue those goals with swift, relentless determination and do not allow yourself nor others to compromise you. When you've achieved those goals and proven yourself capable, you become a bit more optimistic and bold. Make more goals, pursue and achieve. Lather, rinse and repeat.

There are some good books that will help you to think positively. My favourite is by Paul McKenna and called change your life in 7 days. It's basically common sense but sometimes we need to be told in a straight forward way, there is no mystical rubbish. The most valuable thing I took from this book was about self fulfilling prophecies and taking control of your own life. I really recommend it.

People that know me as an adult sometimes tell me that I am a "born optimist." However, I am of the firm belief that there is no such thing. After all, as infants NT and AS alike, we all learn to cry before we laugh, and to wince before we smile. And it makes sense. Babies have to cry. It's their defense. It's their way of calling out for help in a world where they are unable to help themselves. If they didn't cry they would not survive. To become optimistic we have to break these helpless feelings, a feat sometimes easier said than done, though by no means impossible.

I find there is something encouraging about the idea that every inexplicable happy person you know is only so because they work hard to be there.

My dad suffered from anxiety. As a kid I remember on the way home from school he would tell me about every interesting and inspiring thought he had thought the day. To some it would seem like a garbled and weird conversation to be having with a 6-year-old, but as I got older, I realized that he was cheering himself up by looking for just a few wonderful and inspiring things in every-day life. They may seem tiny and insignificant, but the more you focus on just five little happy things, the happier you will feel.

Now that I am an adult I try to do the same every day. I pick a wonderful beautiful thing and try to capture it in some way (I like paintings and sculpting and poetry myself).

That certainly is an optimistic belief, lol. I also agree with it, too, but I do certainly believe that you can be predisposed to becoming an optimist or pessimist, just as you can be genetically predisposed to being depressive or happy. I also wouldn't be surprised if people who were born with "happiness genes" also tend to be more optimistic.

Optimistic aspies exist, but compared to NT's....I'd say we're a fairly pessimistic bunch.

Or more optimistically......a fairly realistic bunch.

Of course people dislike negativity....most modern westerners are life-long Ostriches. They bury their heads in the sand
at the mere hint of some ugliness and desperately grasp at any promise that suits their needs.

I think you would have to start little by little. Taking your occations and slowly seeing the positive out of them even if they are small. Are you currently seeing a therapists? I assume there must be exercises in seeing the positive. Every experiance we go through, even if its dark we learn something which can push towards a better future. Thats what I learned about my life. Everything that I've been through has shaped me in gaining better perspective in knowing what works good for me and what doesnt. Even the time when I was super depressed during a span of 8 months.

Some threads make me optimistic.

I agree. I think aspies tend to be a more pessimistic bunch because of negative life experiences. I think anybody who's had a consistently 'bad' past filled with disappointments and failures would be more likely to think ill of their future, but someone who's found friends, relationships and jobs without *too* much difficulty (That is, not much more difficulty than what's normal.) will be more optimistic, which is why most NTs tend to be more optimistic.

stop thinking in i cant and just do things and belive you can do things.

I think its a matter of accepting that you are locked in a system, there is no way out except death, and that is the only fact there is.

You have a choice and a head on your shoulders. Do as you will. The pressure of life meets the freedom of choice and you just gotta roll with it baby. I'm trying to roll with it.

Rollllllllll.

Actually its more like surfing. Surf your reality!

Keep pretending your happy and tell yourself you are, and some day you will find that your not lying

I have never been an optimistic thinker, even as a child. When I was roughly aged between 7 and 13 I went through a phase of complaining about everything, and thinking that everyone hated me and I always found myself whining, ''I'm left out!!'' even when I weren't. I just wish I enjoyed my childhood but instead I didn't, and now my young adult years has come so soon and now I miserably look back and would give anything to be a child again.

I am still a pessimistic thinker, but in a different way. I am convinced that I give off these ''I'm a daft twat'' vibes, and I am now also convinced that I have an aura around me what nobody can see literally but something about me subconsciously draws human eyes to me, that kind of thing. And it makes me feel really edgy because I don't like drawing everybody to me. It feels like I am being watched and can't do anything without somebody noticing me - even though I know I don't stare or gawp. All this makes me a severe pessimistic thinker because I wonder and worry about what is going to happen to me in the future. I am frightened to move on in my life because I am scared that this vibe I give off is that obvious and people will exploit it. Every moment of the day I feel that people are out to get me. I fear somebody is going to get me into trouble for not doing anything. I'm scared they are going to bring hanging back, because I know for sure that would be a great laugh for devious, conniving bastards to get everybody to believe that I did something wrong and deserve to be hanged. Yes, people are that nasty these days, especially towards people like me.

I am scared. I live in fear of people (apart from family and friends).

Optimism requires inspiration and passion.

I'd say I'm a pessimist but I'd call it a realist.