Meetups

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See this is something I often find hard to get through to other people. Having no friends is horrible, seeing everybody else around you going out, having fun, even online I see people interacting, having little in jokes etc from knowing each other so well even if they live far apart. It's a real kick in the old self esteem when you wonder what the hell is so bad / wrong with you that nobody wants to be your friend.

^^ Some of the WP still puzzle me honestly, many members here claim that they don't care of not having friends or some social life. Honestly, they sound more like anti-social people (no offense) than people with inborn bad social skills ( big difference). Or those members already have friends so they don't realize what they are talking about, a fish doesn't know what's drought is because it's always in water ;p.


Some members theorized earlier why members here don't talk much about friends/socialization issues : http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt181928.html , but I am not very convinced.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 Dec 2011, 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Why do you even care about how I interact IRL? ;p

I completely know how horrible it feels. I used to be *so* immature and socially inept. I would go up to people at school and even college, and ask them, "Will you be my friend?" or later on, "Do you want my number?". I'm still not great at reading between the lines and only understand what people say weeks later, even months.

With me, it's all about manipulating my emotions. I used to be very emotional and creeped/freaked people out. Then I managed to cut them out - it happened within a few days. It made me very numb, but I ended up learning more about social interaction because I was more in reality than in my own emotional mess. I also decided I would be nice to myself and let myself be "selfish", which gradually built up my own confidence. Because I eventually came to a balance where I felt content with myself, enough so that I could make myself happy...I managed not to appear so bad. I get strangers coming up to talk to me all the time, I just seem very approachable now.

In order to analyse you!

I am not rich, barely average, so don't waste your time in analyzing me

I like analysing people. How can anyone know how to help you when they can't see how you interact with people?

I want to be your friend, Boo. But it's not likely we'll ever meet.

I won't say there's no aspies in town here, but they're all hermits then because I never see them. And most likely way younger.

I'm in contact with only one person from my childhood, and I suspect she may be on the spectrum (more mildly than myself if so). It's really hard to find the girls I used to know because it's a small town and they go bugger off to college through the ends of the earth, meet some guy from kookamunga, and then go move to kookamunga and that's it, you never hear from them again. For the most part I'm really not interested in trying to find the boys I used to know, because with few exceptions (mostly standard indifference), they were all mean to me. Maybe they grew up but on the other hand, they're terrible people and probably always will have that terrible streak in them.

Don't you mean asocial rather than anti-social? Anti-social behaviour in the UK and Australia generally tends to mean more making other people's lives a misery and being a dickhead than just not having many friends.

In that sense that's the case with a lot of the threads on this forum asking for help with certain social situations.

Perhaps you could start a support group in your local area or meet up group for people on the spectrum and meet at a community hall?

Indeed.

Im resigned to not having friends and find it less painful to 'not care' and create a full life for myself that is 'friend free', than to care about getting friends and get repeatedly hurt and rejected. I had a best friend in the past for 10 years but she wrote me a 7 page letter detailing all the things I did which annoyed her and how she had only been friends with me out of 'christian charity' and how much she didnt like me, and that pretty much decided me never to try and have a friend again. i expect some other people who dont care about having friends also do so for 'self protective' reasons.

If that friend really didn't care, she wouldn't have gone to the effort of writing 7 pages about it.

What is it with people who say they don't care? Even perfectly intelligent people I know will say they don't care about something and it's blatent that they do, or they wouldn't say it, or be pissed off/upset about it.

Ah, by this I would have meant asocial then; people who choose to not be social and don't want (and don't even have the need) much to be in the company of others.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 15 Dec 2011, 3:15 am, edited 1 time in total.