I feel like a genius, I feel like a doofus.

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13 Dec 2011, 5:50 am

People call me cute when I make simple mistakes or don't know what I'm doing then out of nowhere I'm telling them the origin of something random. They do tell me I'm intelligent. They fuss over my photography and paintings.
I still feel like they treat me like someone with special needs even if they don't like diagnostic labels.


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Ganondox
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13 Dec 2011, 6:27 am

Also, I think my apparent intellect is inversely related to the number of people around me at any given time.


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Verdandi
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13 Dec 2011, 6:32 am

I get treated like I'm very smart and very stupid at times, often by the same people. Sometimes it's because they don't like what I have to say, but sometimes it's because they see my cognitive weaknesses and generalize that to everything, or they see my cognitive strengths and generalize that to everything. Neither does me any good in the long run, although being told I am intelligent is good for the ego at times.



nirrti_rachelle
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13 Dec 2011, 8:03 am

I was previously working at Taco Bell at 35 years-old, even though I had a bachelor's degree and was one year into grad school. I felt like the worst person in the world. Here I was, smart enough to have earned a doggone college degree yet considered too "dumb" to do anything but fast food work with people who didn't even have high school diplomas. And my co-workers definately treated me accordingly.

I don't know how many times my peers have called me "dumb", "retarded", or "crazy" throughout my life as did my own mother. Anything good I did, they ignored. They selectively remembered only the things I did wrong. Doesn't do very much for the self esteem at all. I'm now at the point where I believe in myself and am proud of the things I can do rather than dwelling on what I can't. My brain works differently from other people but I see that as what makes me unique.


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Magnus_Rex
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13 Dec 2011, 8:17 am

I am still not sure if I am very intelligent or very stupid. I can learn anything at inhuman rates, but I can barely talk to strangers. I can figure out solutions to complex problems, but I have almost no lateral thinking. Fortunately, I have done well in every job I had and at school. But I still think I have not done all that well in life.



Sweetleaf
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13 Dec 2011, 10:46 am

Yeah that's kinda how I feel.......I know I'm more or less intelligent and people seem to think I'm an idiot, or totally out of my mind in which case they don't even acknowledge that I have valid things to say.


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Jack184
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01 Jun 2016, 6:53 am

I relate to this so much. One moment I'll feel reasonably intelligent, and the next I can't believe how stupid what I just said is. I guess in some ways, intelligence has always been how I define myself in the absence of any social or executive function skills, so it makes me feel pretty bad when I don't feel intelligent at all. It often feels like all the things I'm good at are useless. What's going to get you further in life: ability to hold a conversation, be organized, cope with changes in plan and avoid offending people, or understanding classical Latin and astrophysics? I'll give you a hint: speaking dead languages doesn't tend to do much for you in life (I still love Latin though).

Like I said, I can totally relate to what you just said.
Jack