I feel like a genius, I feel like a doofus.
I am told both. I am told I am very intelligent. I study a lot of science, and I write a lot, etc. I am really into environmental science, and raccoons. I make it a hobby of mine to create bags, jewelry and stuff from plastic bags, and other articles of trash.
I am also treated as if I am developmentally disabled. I am forgetful, and I am always yelled at for it. I do not get good grades in school, mainly because of my memory. And it is hard for me to understand many concepts. i cannot even salve a rubix cube while following video instruction for petes sake!! !
why am I so dumb?
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Aspie score: 164/200
NT score: 60/200
You are very likely an Aspie!
AQ: 36
Iceveela, I can only speak for myself, but I'm given to understand that what you are describing is pretty typical. AS isn't high abilities but very uneven abilities. It is also the case that many aspies lack executive functioning skills (skills to get organized and work on many things at once). At least this describes me, and sounds as if it describes you too.
What I do is work almost exclusively on those things I'm good at, and leave the rest for others. People still think I'm weird and all, but at the same time, they recognize and respect what I am able to do.
Let me ask you one now: Where do you go to take the tests whose scores I see? Is that something on the Internet?
People with Asperger's have a above average to high intelligence.
I'll amaze people unexpectedly sometimes with my ideas and sometimes I'll do something really stupid. I only got average to above average grades in school, it depended on the subject. My way of thinking doesn't suit the norm, maybe that's why people get confused sometimes *shrugs*
I'm very smart, but I do amazingly stupid stuff all the time. If someone witnesses you doing something stupid it helps if you figure out how to make it look like you did it on purpose to be funny, then people just think your a clown.
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You're not dumb, it just sounds like you are very good at some things and not others, which is perfectly normal - in fact, it's better than normal, most people are just average at everything.
If you forget things, get one of those little pocket diaries so you can just write things down. Memory is a funny thing - you can remember some things in great detail after just one time, but some things just won't stick no matter how hard you try.
At school, you are forced to do things you are not good at (which is good, but difficult) but after school, you can pick and choose and do something you excel at - it sounds like you would be a great environmental scientist. Unfortunately, school is a system that many people don't fit in with and those people are the ones that usually do the best after school.
I had a boss while I was doing menial labour who said to his girlfriend (who later told my girlfriend who then told me) "Dan is too smart to be doing this kind of work but too stupid to do anything about it".
My older brother used to always tell me "You're smart but you're also dumb at the same time".
And my best male friend told me, concerning my taking up music quickly and knowing how I wanted songs to sound in my head but before I could even play them on a guitar with my hands that I was "one of those stupid geniuses".
Add to this my school report card which almost ALWAYS included the word "conscientious" followed by "but needs to apply himself more" no matter who the teacher was and my parents would say "You're smart but you're lazy".
All this kind of stuff was just the norm and it never really bothered me through life and I just accepted and wore the label of being lazy and, like Bart Simpson, an "underachiever and proud of it". It became how I saw myself and probably influenced my attitude towards even things I was good at and did enjoy doing. But once I found out about ASD's and how in a way people misjudge and mischaracterise us I did have this period of self pity. How different would my life have been if people knew about HFA in small towns in Australia in the 1990's?
When it comes to accepting your limitations and embracing what you're good at or enjoy my advice to people is stolen from Bruce Lee;
Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, add what is essentially your own.
swbluto
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I was looking at my neuropsych report last night and was reminded that there were two sub-test scores (WAIS) in the 99.5th percentile and two down in the "brain damaged" range. So, uneven functioning makes sense.
My short-term memory is terrible, and outside of a special-interest project my organizational ability is also pretty bad.
I was lucky that people generally perceived me as smart-but-lazy ("doesn't apply self" like others have said) in school, since the truth was not really that good.
You probably aren't but rather have a brain that is strong and weak in ways that are unusual compared to normal, which makes it hard for a lot of other people to relate to. (ASD people are known to tend to have uneven abilities.)
Yep sounds like me as well
Some things are incredibly easy I will simply fly through complex designs and systems. I can't comprehnd how or why some people have problems with them.
But some of the simplest things I will never get straight in my head,...or I think in way too much detail about the ramifications of one little thing done wrong , I think way downstream of the one little mistake done and how it effects the whole system.
yes my avatar is pretty much me in a nutshell, some people don't even know what my real name is.... lol
@ Ganondox, not a clown ! rather a jester imo
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btbnnyr
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jojobean
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I have the same thing going on
what I am good at I am very good at like art, poetry, painting, fiber art, creatively crazy unorthidox solutions to problems
I been told that I am a creative savant...and I can learn most types of art in a much shorter time than most others, except those that require physical strength of the hands, like using a pottery wheel. I actually have very nimble hands from using sign language, but they are not very strong.
what I am bad at, I am phenomily bad at...like ....if you havent noticed........spelling, and math and executive functioning.
I am totally impaired when it comes to math...ppl start rattling off numbers to me and I just get mental whiplash.
and exectutive functioning is my worst hang up. I am just flat disabled when it comes to executive functioning
but we are like that, what we are good at, we are very good at, and what we are bad at, we a just plain terrible.
There is no such thing as moderation in the ASD mind. One extreme or the other.
Jojo
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All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin
I like your question.
The answer is both, and it depends on the context. I feel like a genius when I am at home (no social deficits showing when I am alone), or when we had exams, or when certain topic pops out.
On the other hand, in certain situations I feel like an idiot - like, when I get ''blocked'' on counter in a store. Often, when I go out to do normal, everyday thing, I feel like a kid in a world of grown ups. Not in a merry-go-lucky romanticized kind of way, but in a confusing kind of way. Many thing other do normally, like on auto-pilot. I do in a way a child does when it's given directions.
I was in a bank yesterday, to pay my phone bill, and it was like this ''Hello, I have, I have to pay this bill. It's, it's... ... ... (pause) it's 35dollars (around 120 kunas actually, but I don't want to add confusion). So, it felt really awkward.
But now, I am able to laugh it off... after all, I am able to pay my bills so, I don't care how awkwardly I pull it out.
People call me cute when I make simple mistakes or don't know what I'm doing then out of nowhere I'm telling them the origin of something random. They do tell me I'm intelligent. They fuss over my photography and paintings.
I still feel like they treat me like someone with special needs even if they don't like diagnostic labels.
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