Do you do this to avoid feeling rejection? Please post.

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CaptainTrips222
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14 Dec 2011, 12:51 pm

I do this, but never out of spite- just to protect myself. This usually applies to work situations.

When somebody always refuses to speak, or seems standoffish with me, I get so fed up with it I not only avert my eyes, but keep THEM out of my range of vision. It's like, if I can't see them being passive aggressive, I can't "feel" it. And I feel a lot better for it. Do you relate?



Radiofixr
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14 Dec 2011, 12:58 pm

I totally understand-I have people all the time ignore me and turn away so I get the idea they don't like me and I am in a depressed state about it someone may walk up to me and I get quiet and stop talking and go into myself because I think they are just coming up to me to build me up and then just tear me down for fun.


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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14 Dec 2011, 2:11 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
. . . but keep THEM out of my range of vision. It's like, if I can't see them being passive aggressive, I can't "feel" it. And I feel a lot better for it. Do you relate?

That actually seems like self-defense and being a little like a zen master. Shame it has to be necessary in a work environment but sometimes it is.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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14 Dec 2011, 2:16 pm

Radiofixr wrote:
. . . I get the idea they don't like me and I am in a depressed state about it someone may walk up to me and I get quiet and stop talking . . .

I do this, too. But I'm not giving the new person a chance, and they may be open to people who are different, positive, creative, etc.

It's kind of like that song, dance like no one's watching, love like you've never been hurt, etc, which is of course a heck of a lot easier said than done.



CaptainTrips222
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14 Dec 2011, 2:32 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
. . . but keep THEM out of my range of vision. It's like, if I can't see them being passive aggressive, I can't "feel" it. And I feel a lot better for it. Do you relate?

That actually seems like self-defense and being a little like a zen master. Shame it has to be necessary in a work environment but sometimes it is.


It comes to that, huh? Here's my next question:

Have you ever had to resort to that type of defense, only to have that person piss and moan about you behind your back, and even approach you to demand why you're doing it?



Radiofixr
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14 Dec 2011, 2:43 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
Radiofixr wrote:
. . . I get the idea they don't like me and I am in a depressed state about it someone may walk up to me and I get quiet and stop talking . . .

I do this, too. But I'm not giving the new person a chance, and they may be open to people who are different, positive, creative, etc.

It's kind of like that song, dance like no one's watching, love like you've never been hurt, etc, which is of course a heck of a lot easier said than done.

Unfortunately I was hurt and by another aspie and it makes it even more difficult to to follow that advice.


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izzeme
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14 Dec 2011, 6:23 pm

i sometimes try this, but it's largely ineffective since, even though i cannot see, i *know* the stance of that other person, having 180 degree vision also makes it hard to keep someone out of it...
another factor is that i can often 'feel' passive agression from someone i cannot see iven if i didn't see it before yet, so this technique is, in essence, close to useless



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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14 Dec 2011, 8:48 pm

Radiofixr wrote:
Unfortunately I was hurt and by another aspie and it makes it even more difficult to to follow that advice.
That is hard, and I don't really know what to say. I am sorry that happened.