Your jokes falling on NT's deaf ears

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I'm recently diagnosed and I've always wondered why NT never got my jokes when they were meant to be conveying irony or sarcasm. They would always return a comment in line with me just having made a serious statement.

It's because my voice doesn't permit me to tell a joke that conveys irony or sarcasm so I cannot do it, this for me is especially frustrating as my sense of humour centres around irony and I've always had a completely undeserved reputation as being miserable due to the AS when in fact I'm completely the opposite.

Ant others have this problem? I have the 'too low monotone AS voice' as opposed to the 'too loud AS voice'

Yeah I have the low monotone voice.

I'm more on the over-expressive side. But there's nothing wrong with a low monotone, it's all about figuring out how to use it to your advantage. There's a value to an understated, deadpan delivery. You can for example throw in some absurdity to balance it out. Just look at Steven Wright. Dude's hilarious, and his low monotone voice is a big part of what makes his style of comedy work.

I was in a convenience store recently and I said to the cashier "Looks like you've got a tip jar going there." and I pointed to the 'take a penny, leave a penny box" and it was filled with silver coins. He had no idea what I was talking about.

I also use to do stand up comedy, and I'd bomb sometimes because my jokes wouldn't make sense to anyone except me.

I think I have more the opposite problem, people think I'm being sarcastic or joking when I'm not. But it happens in writing as much as it does in person so I think it's something about the content of what I'm saying, more than it is my tone of voice.

Constantly.

You can't fight a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. I've had the same problem. Oh well, I don't get their jokes either.

I have known several people who can tell a joke or story without cracking a smile. It's a totally deadpan delivery. And the audience is rolling on the floor. The comedian never cracks a smile even so. Amazing.

I can joke, and when I do I give a friendly smile to give out another clue that I'm joking. But I don't normally joke because of the fear that people might take it literally. Sometimes I joke about situations, but not to a person. For example:-

(A joke about a situation - this is the type I find easier)
Friend: Oh wherever we stand we keep getting in someone's way
Me (smiling and laughing): Well let's go to the desert, then we will be in nobody's way. Except for a camel, then he might get the hump!
(Friend laughs)

(But I don't tend to joke in this sort of way)
Friend: I haven't been at work since last Tuesday
Me: Why, you been skiving?

OR

Friend: My bus ticket is all wet and ripped.....
Me: What you been doing? Chewing it?

For some reason, I always fear the person might take it literally for some reason and get offended. It's part of social phobia I think. But people always give a jokey sort of comment when somebody says something. I hear it all the time, so in reality those last 2 jokes I wrote are socially acceptable, since what the friend is saying is more to do with small talk, and with small talk you can concoct up a joke (well at least that's what I experience from other people).

I also have that problem as well and I used to take it very seriously.

Redacted

I always think I'm hilarious. Anyone who doesn't is just missing the joke.

My voice is both too monotone and too loud. I can't do sarcasm at all, though to be honest, the massive presence of it on this website (and the Internet in general) has made me sick of it, so I generally prefer giving sincere responses to things.

And it's not just NTs that fail to understand my jokes - my sense of humor appears to be hit-or-miss with everyone regardless of neurological wiring.

My jokes often used to fail.......I think it was the mind-blindness, i.e. if it was funny to me then I'd automatically think they'd like it too. But a lot of my humour was quite dark and sardonic, and you have to pick your audience with that kind of stuff. Most people don't seem to like it. Also it took me a long time to realise that humour is usually quite simple, e.g. just using a funny word is often all it takes.....I was always trying to be way too clever, and would just become obscure and lose my audience.

I've noticed other people's jokes don't always hit the spot.....best thing to do is grin at them and say "what are you on about?" - thus filling the icy vacuum created by the failed gag. Sometimes failing to pick up on the warm overture of a joke is a signal that the joker isn't accepted.....if somebody doesn't like you then your jokes won't amuse them so easily, and they will be more ready to take offense.

I've often felt the same fear as Joe90 about those little "put-down" jokes......teasing can be quite dangerous.....even when the "insult" is impossibly far-fetched, I've known people look offended. Though I've got away with it a lot too. I think it's important to keep trying. It's a force for good in friendships when it works (reassures people that it's OK to step out of the ultra-polite zone, maybe lays the ground for criticism without tears, brings people closer together). If you get it wrong, you can always apologise. I often add "just kidding" to the end of it, or "I don't mean it....your nose isn't really big" if I'm in any doubt about the way it's going down. I remember being in a conversation with somebody where we were both ribbing each other for ages, it was fun, and neither of us were at all offended. But I don't take that kind of risk lightly, and even at the time I was wondering how safe my comments were. Also I knew a guy who had such a session with his partner, and he said it was good at first but then some of the digs got too personal, and it turned into a serious blazing row.