In trouble for a remark that was interpreted the wrong way

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Yep. I asked a serious question to a customer, and the customer said I was being rude. Now, my boss says I will be fired if I get another complaint....any suggestions? I am so sick of people misinterpreting me

Your not alone, i was called into my boss's office today and he told me a co-worker complained that i was following them around, among other things. I told them my side of the story, and i explained to my bosses about my AS. And that all i wanted to do was become friends with this person and that i was unaware she was uncomfortable with me, but because of my AS i told them i have difficulties when it comes to social interactions with girls or any social setting with people . So because of her misinterpreting my actions she thinks i'm stalking her and i'm not, and i was told not have any further interaction with this person. So now my boss told me they have to investigate this situation, and it could either lead to corrective action or termination for me, if your curious to where i work its Target six years running.

For your situation, i would say next time try to tell the customer your not trying to be rude or offensive and your helping as best you can. And try to explain to your Human Resource person or boss about it so that they can try to understand and help.

I would stop talking to the customers and only answer their questions they ask you. I am not sure what kind of job you have so I don't know if this advice would help.

To the person who offended a customer, frankly, I think you're doing quite well if people misinterpret you as 'rude' so rarely that when it happens you post a question on WP about it! I agree that you're best off speaking when you're spoken to. If you need to ask questions to find out what the customer wants, just ask your manager's help to make a list of what are and are not appropriate questions, then learn them by rote. Then stick to the script for a long, long time and don't depart from it until you are sure you have nailed the right approach.

If you do this, you will (a) show your manager you are keen to learn and (b) keep out of trouble in future and (c) hopefully - in a fair world - save your job.

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To the person in trouble for following a young woman when it is not welcome, this is always called 'stalking', whether you realised or intended it or not. It is not appropriate to 'blame' AS - no matter how much you think it is the reason for your error. Not-stalking is simply a piece of social behaviour everybody - regardless of their situation - needs to learn, in the same way as not-stealing is, or appropriate personal hygiene is. Your best bet now is to take responsibility for your action as a big social gaffe (error or mistake), apologise without reservation to the young woman (you will probably have to do this in a supervised situation), avoid blaming anything or anybody other than yourself, swallow your pride and just wear it.

Stalking harms other people because it makes them afraid. In some places, stalking is illegal and could cause your arrest, or the registering of an apprehended violence order and the like. It is not a slight matter. Meanwhile, you are giving AS people a bad name by aligning behaviour that harms others with the syndrome. Please don't do that in future.

Sometimes, too, people make false accusations. There is nothing you can do about this, unfortunately, unless you are strong and well enough resourced to fight it publicly. Mud still tends to stick. You are better off doing whatever it takes (within the law and the boundaries of appropriate, non-threatening behaviour) to make the accusation go away. A lesson in real life - not pretty, but there it is.

I think that calling it "stalking" depends on a few things. If the person is only following someone around at work, and not outside of the office, is it really stalking? Stalking is something that is invasive of another person's privacy as well as something that creates fear, and I think that at work, we generally tend to have less privacy than at home or otherwise out in the world. Also, if the following behavior isn't causing fear, but merely discomfort in certain limited situations, it's more an issue of poor social boundaries in the workplace than "stalking". Just my take, with the limited information given.

If you are Aspie and unsure about any work situation dealing with customers or fellow workers, it's best to not do or say anything. If you have an NT friend/co-worker/boss you can trust, ask them about the situation. Unfortunately, it's often easy for Aspies to appear rude, or for our behavior to appear to be "stalking."