Hi , I have asperger and I want to kill myself

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faysal
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29 Dec 2011, 11:54 am

Thx for all your warm replies , it really helped me , I appreciate it ..for me I just couldn't stand of who I am . I hate myself so so much and despise it and I can't see any point of my life , I thought seriously of killing myself but I don't think I can do it and I won't . I changed my attitude . I used to suffer so it's not a problem for me , maybe one day things will change ..I hope :(



Sparx
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29 Dec 2011, 1:21 pm

I hope you find the help you need, and learn to love yourself. As it's been said, you're not alone, and we do care. I care.



PhoenixArte
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29 Dec 2011, 2:11 pm

Faysal - I am so glad to read your post from today. You may have a long way to go to learn to love yourself, but it can be done. Please seek professional help if it is available to you. Or find another trusted adult who you admire and like. Hang in there and keep us posted. There are many like you with a great deal of self-hatred who have learned that they ARE worthy of love, who are good, who have a lot to offer, and who have also learned to turn off the negative self-talk and realize they are truly wonderful! Just the fact that you reached out to those here tell me you are on the right path. Believe in yourself - you are wonderful - full of wonder and positive potential!


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heritage
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29 Dec 2011, 11:32 pm

You need to stay with the world because the world needs more people like us, and we all need each other. Please use this place as a resource, as a way to discuss your pain and please also find a professional, they help a lot more than you know. I recently just started to see a therapist myself and it's helped me greatly already. They don't judge and are a wonderful sounding board for all of the thoughts that you think are crazy. They help you to understand yourself and your role in this world, and I assure you that you have one.

If you need someone to talk to, we're all here, but message me. I'd be happy to listen and to help how I can.

<3 from a fellow Aspie.



Ozzer
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30 Dec 2011, 12:32 am

faysal,
I have been in a very similar situation to you. I am 27 now and was just diagnosed as an aspie a few weeks ago. My parents always knew there was something different about me but they would push me (by whatever means necessary) to do things there way. I tried to fake my way through but in my early 20s I just couldn't pretend to have things together any longer. My parents told me to move back home for awhile. I did and they kicked me out the next day. I had nowhere to go and no one to help me. I felt completely alone and worthless. I landed myself in the hospital multiple times for attempted suicide. I thought I would never get through that and at the time I didn't really want to. However, I did. I kept pushing even when I really didn't want to. I stumbled across a wonderful person who thinks similar to me and is very patient and loving. I finally found a fabulous therapist and now with the Aspie diagnosis a lot more things make sense. The point is I made it. Everyday isn't perfect. I still struggle sometimes but I am very grateful that I kept going. Now when I look around my life I know that I proved my parents wrong. I didn't need fixing. I am not worthless. I just needed time and help.

Please do everything you can to take care of yourself. Like so many others have voiced, I am here if you need me. Message me whenever you want and I will get back to you as soon as I see it.



freesia
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30 Dec 2011, 9:36 am

Faysal,
I have been reading the replies to your post and am so glad to see what wonderful, decent people have replied to you. You can rely on these people to help and listen to you. Dont give up. Keep trying.



Verinda
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30 Dec 2011, 7:14 pm

Hi Faysal,
I'm so glad to read your post. You'll be ok if you keep communicating. You will find that there really are a lot of good caring people out there who really want to help you.

Keep strong xx



faysal
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31 Dec 2011, 9:10 am

Thank you friends , as I told you I canceled my decision , I won't kill myself and I will try to not even think about it even this seems very deffecult , what makes me very upset and depressed is there is no support for aspie people , I live in Algeria not in US , we don't have even a national center of autism ! ! Even if I seek a proffessional to help me , I won't find one . You can imagine how very bad it is to deal with Asperger's by your own , I started dealing with it years ago and I just couldn't continue , I gave up . When I was thinking seriously of killing myself I was wondering how it will feels when I don't exist .. I mean how would I feel when I am disappeared ,I know it's weird but this was my thought



PhoenixArte
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31 Dec 2011, 1:01 pm

Faysal - You bring up a complication. Thank you for sharing what country you live in. I'm sorry you don't know where to turn there; you are right, it would be much easier here in the U.S.

Still - are there doctors who might be sympathetic? Parents of friends? Teachers? You will have to feel complete trust, of course. Go slowly. Who diagnosed you? Perhaps that person would be sympathetic or could connect you with someone? I am just "thinking out loud" here, of course, in an effort to help you find someone.

Also, keep up with us. You have many people here who ask you to message them privately. Take advantage of this - you might make some wonderful friendships. I'm new on this website and don't get on much during the day (usually only once a day or less), so I haven't figured out everything, like how messages work. But you can send me a private message, too. I'm a mom and not Aspie, but my daughter is on the spectrum. She was diagnosed in August, so I'm just learning about this world. If I can be a mom-type listener, I will be.

If you are an Aspie in Algeria, I am sure there are others out there, too. I hope you can find them.

I send warm wishes to you.


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Mother to teenage bi-polar (stable) daughter
Mother to teenage PDD-NOS daughter, newly diagnosed
Wife to DH
Self, depression (treated)
living in the country with 3 cats, 1 dog, 2 horses, 15 chickens


RandyMeeksPsychoFan
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31 Dec 2011, 2:09 pm

I feel the same way. :(



CockneyRebel
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01 Jan 2012, 2:21 am

I felt the same way when I was your age. You should get some help.


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