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Sweetleaf
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27 Dec 2011, 9:49 am

Does anyone else get angry when people say this to you when you're already calm?......for instance yesterday we where opening presents for christmas and my moms boyfriend had the stereo up too loud when I first came down so I turned it down a bit. Then my sister wanted to put some CD in and maybe I sounded slightly annoyed but I simply said 'not too loud.' and she told me to calm down........well I was quite calm up until she told me to calm down then I got mad and went in my room until she came and apologized(well she apologized in her style which is 'oh I forgot that bothers you, why don't you come back out and open gifts with us.' or something to that effect.)

So yeah does anyone else have a hard time not exploding when someone tells you to calm down when you're not all that uncalm to begin with?



SylviaLynn
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27 Dec 2011, 9:55 am

Yes.


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Ames76
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27 Dec 2011, 11:56 am

Definitely!



Kalika
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27 Dec 2011, 12:01 pm

very much so!



Tequila
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27 Dec 2011, 12:02 pm

They're probably Scousers. I wouldn't worry about it, they say it all the time, to everyone. ;)



ghostar
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27 Dec 2011, 12:39 pm

Totally!

This happens at work when I am intensely interested in something and am trying to describe the details of the research finding to my supervisor. Only our group's programmer can seem to keep up with my brain. Thank goodness I have someone with which to bond at work! Sigh.



SylviaLynn
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27 Dec 2011, 12:41 pm

Apparently sometimes I sound intense. People think I'm angry when I'm not. Oh well. I just explain that I'm not angry.


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Joe90
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27 Dec 2011, 12:47 pm

I have a similar problem. When I've said something to defend myself and somebody else said, ''why is your voice raised?'' - when I clearly know it wasn't raised, I just said something in the same tone of voice as I do when I normally speak, which isn't normally loud for other people's liking.


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SylviaLynn
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27 Dec 2011, 12:49 pm

I can't always tell how I sound or how loud I am. I think it's the whole self-monitoring thing.


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ghostar
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27 Dec 2011, 1:01 pm

"Intense." This is a word I often hear from people when they are describing me.

The last man I dated actually thought I was capable of violence because of how animated I get when we watch action movies together. I was shocked to hear this from a mutual friend because I abhor violence. I am a buddhist for crying out loud. 8O



Who_Am_I
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27 Dec 2011, 6:25 pm

Yeah. I'd imagine that it would anger anyone.


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Sparx
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27 Dec 2011, 6:32 pm

I AM [email protected]#$%^&* CALM!



Sagroth
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27 Dec 2011, 6:34 pm

Sweetleaf and Sylvia, I am right there with you.

"Intimidating" is also a word I've heard thrown my way on this.


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27 Dec 2011, 10:31 pm

Yes it definitely makes me angrier. My mum did well tonight though, she usually shouts at me but tonight I had to dress all fancy and was meltdowning and she quietly helped me find an outfit to wear. That made me feel a lot calmer. :)



draelynn
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27 Dec 2011, 10:41 pm

I get that, usually when I'm actually interested in whatever is being discussed. I kind of lose volume control and, apparently, facial expression control. When I'm not holding the reins tight enough, it slips.