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minervx
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01 Jan 2012, 6:28 pm

i sort of think there are leagues in socializing,

my beliefs, very quickly written down and unedited.

1. we all have a limited amount of time and mental capacity, so we cannot be friends with every single person

2. if there are more people than you handle, you will ultimately have to select the most valuable people to you and reject the rest

3. if a person doesn't value themselves, then other people won't see them as a high value priority.

3a. confidence is valued, but only real confidence. having a lot of outward confidence, but your inner core has little substance, experience, accomplishment, and you arent fully convinced yourself of your high worth, then it will appear fake and people will see through it.

3b. confidence, for the most part, can't be flipped on like a light switch with motivational speeches and such, but built slowly through action.

4. of the giant pool of people you are around, some you prefer more because they can contribute more.

5. the more good qualities you have, the larger the pool of people will be.

6. not everyone is equal. some people are more advanced than other, in general and not by specific parameters. in terms of career, confidence, wealth, social ability, fitness, power/influence/prestige, physical attractiveness, talents/skill, and ability to maintain friendships/relationships, among many others.

6a. people with more of those qualities with a really high pool of people will have to reject a lot of people, who may not have those qualities. whereas people less accomplished and less socially skilled would not have that problem. as you improve socially, you go from being lucky to have anyone as your friend to being very selective. it's basic supply and demand.

6b. this is not to say people low on the social ladder, should ever tolerate abuse, manipulation or second class treatment.

7. we all have people above us, in those regards. and people below us in those regards.

7a. we should not be envious self-entitled or bitter in any way toward people above us. there will always be people better than us in terms of what social opportunities they have and what people are willing to do for them to be in their company. let's just be grateful of all the good we have.

7b. everyone has their own self interest. if someone doesn't want to be your or my friend, likely because they have better options and can't choose them all at once, then its their prerogative. it doesn't make them a jerk or a bad person.

8. refer to 3b. our journey to improve ourselves socially, is from the bottom of the to the top.



mad_monkey
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01 Jan 2012, 6:53 pm

Too complex, simply for me If idont like you I ain't a friend. But I also leave myself open to prove me wrong



Rob-N4RPS
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01 Jan 2012, 7:23 pm

Hello!

Acquaintances are one thing. Friendships are a completely different matter altogether.

Friendships are developed over time, and, for me, usually involve some sort of crisis situation that I have overcome with them together.

Happy New Year!

Rob



minervx
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01 Jan 2012, 9:30 pm

Rob-N4RPS wrote:
Hello!

Acquaintances are one thing. Friendships are a completely different matter altogether.

Friendships are developed over time, and, for me, usually involve some sort of crisis situation that I have overcome with them together.

Happy New Year!

Rob


you need a balance of both. some people, you can really have a lot to offer them and they have a lot to offer you, but you dont have the time