Stroller advice/ suggestions PLEASE!! !

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LittleMama
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03 Mar 2012, 10:38 am

Thank you blondambition, but I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

I guess I will never understand why NT's get so angry and feel it is so unacceptable for a child who is 6 to be in a stroller. I just don't get why you all feel the need to pass judgement and tell us what we can and can't do.

In case anyone missed this point, the school district has pretty much decided that I must homeschool my kids. They refuse to help. They just want the money for the IEP services, but not to actually deliver the services delineated in the IEP. I have tried to get special sitters to come watch my 2 kids, but they have all been too scared to stay. Besides, I can't afford a sitter anyway. They charge over $20 an hour. So, I have no money, no help from the school, no sitters, no family and no friends to help. As I previously mentioned, I only have one working leg and I think I may have fractured that leg's toes. My husband works 24/7. Someone has to get groceries and medicine. How else am I supposed to get to the grocery store with 2 kids who are either bolting into traffic, freaking out screaming and throwing things from sensory overload, or beating their heads onto the grocery's hard floor tiles. Then, if I try to physically stop them, I get beat up more.

I stated in my original post that I knew this was a hot topic and I was seeking advice on stroller models, NOT looking for people's two cents on their position on this battle.

Please, would some NT out there explain to me why it's so vitally important to our society that I, personally, must be denied a stroller and be forced to live in an even deeper level of hell than I am currently in, just to win your approval? What does your approval get me? Food for my children - no. Medicine to help them - no. Someone to be physically here to help me - no. I get nothing. Absolutely nothing but your utterly useless and worthless so-called approval.

Don't you NT's get it? Your approval means nothing to us. We are impervious to your stupid peer pressure. I came here, to WrongPlanet, to find solace and compassion with my kindred spirits. Not to endure more NT bullying.

Steven Hawking is in a "stroller." I don't hear anyone going after him. He too is a genius whose physical body can't keep up with his brain. Do you judge him? How is my situation different? My children's bodies also can't keep up with their genius. Just because his disability is more easily visible, you seem to think it's OK for him to use a wheel chair. Just because my children are beautiful and don't appear to be physically handicapped doesn't make their disability any less real. It also doesn't make their disability any less of an impairment.

Stop trying to control us. Stop trying to bully and intimidate us. Just be glad that we're too anti-social and physically awkward to form a union that will rise up against you.



blondeambition
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03 Mar 2012, 11:17 am

I think that your situation is hard. You need more services than you are getting. That is for sure.

Just to clarify:

I'm not an NT, and my husband isn't either. I have just come to the decision that it is easier for everyone to try to "fit in" in public.

Also want to say that I've generally hired mother's helpers instead of nannies. (A mother's help doesn't take care of the kids by herself. She is there with you to follow your directions, sort of like a teacher's aide. They also charge less--anywhere from $ 8 to $ 12 here in Austin, depending upon qualifications.)

Additionally, I do confess to doing as much shopping on-line as possible. I haven't taken to ordering groceries on-line or having my medicines delivered in the mail, but I know that these are options for me where I live.

You also mentioned meds. What kinds of meds are your kids on, and are they seeing a pediatric psychiatrist or pediatric neurologist? This could be a big part of the problem. They could require medication adjustment. My kids (aged 7 and 4) are both on Prozac by day and Clonidine at night. (I'm also on Prozac for anxiety.) My sons are doing very well on these meds, but they may need to change doses as they grow. I do have a section on meds on my free website. (See the link below). The right meds can make everyone's life better--yours and theirs--and a lot of meds used are pretty cheap.

Finally, I would contact your local Autism Society, Autism Speaks group, and school district and find out from everyone about respite care and what services everyone else uses. You may not be getting all the services to which you are entitled.

And be shy about telling your parents, church, local charities, etc., about your situation and see if you can get some $ or services that way.

I do have a pretty good idea what you are going through--things have been tight around here financially at times and my husband is the cheapest man alive, but I inherited some money and made some investments that have worked out, and my parents have started helping out, too. I also cashed out my retirement last year.


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www.freevideosforautistickids.com is my website with hundreds of links and thousands of educational videos for kids, parents and educators. Son with high-functioning classic autism, aged 7, and son with OCD/Aspergers, aged 4. I love my boys!


MMJMOM
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03 Mar 2012, 12:24 pm

LittleMama wrote:
Thank you blondambition, but I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

I guess I will never understand why NT's get so angry and feel it is so unacceptable for a child who is 6 to be in a stroller. I just don't get why you all feel the need to pass judgement and tell us what we can and can't do.

In case anyone missed this point, the school district has pretty much decided that I must homeschool my kids. They refuse to help. They just want the money for the IEP services, but not to actually deliver the services delineated in the IEP. I have tried to get special sitters to come watch my 2 kids, but they have all been too scared to stay. Besides, I can't afford a sitter anyway. They charge over $20 an hour. So, I have no money, no help from the school, no sitters, no family and no friends to help. As I previously mentioned, I only have one working leg and I think I may have fractured that leg's toes. My husband works 24/7. Someone has to get groceries and medicine. How else am I supposed to get to the grocery store with 2 kids who are either bolting into traffic, freaking out screaming and throwing things from sensory overload, or beating their heads onto the grocery's hard floor tiles. Then, if I try to physically stop them, I get beat up more.

I stated in my original post that I knew this was a hot topic and I was seeking advice on stroller models, NOT looking for people's two cents on their position on this battle.

Please, would some NT out there explain to me why it's so vitally important to our society that I, personally, must be denied a stroller and be forced to live in an even deeper level of hell than I am currently in, just to win your approval? What does your approval get me? Food for my children - no. Medicine to help them - no. Someone to be physically here to help me - no. I get nothing. Absolutely nothing but your utterly useless and worthless so-called approval.

Don't you NT's get it? Your approval means nothing to us. We are impervious to your stupid peer pressure. I came here, to WrongPlanet, to find solace and compassion with my kindred spirits. Not to endure more NT bullying.

Steven Hawking is in a "stroller." I don't hear anyone going after him. He too is a genius whose physical body can't keep up with his brain. Do you judge him? How is my situation different? My children's bodies also can't keep up with their genius. Just because his disability is more easily visible, you seem to think it's OK for him to use a wheel chair. Just because my children are beautiful and don't appear to be physically handicapped doesn't make their disability any less real. It also doesn't make their disability any less of an impairment.

Stop trying to control us. Stop trying to bully and intimidate us. Just be glad that we're too anti-social and physically awkward to form a union that will rise up against you.


One thing I learned as a parent of a HF Aspergers son, is that unless people LIVE in my house, 24/7...they dont understand. First of all, what works for one kid doesnt mean it will work for another. Everyone comes with different background, financial constraints, emotional, etc...and you need to do what you need to do to get by, and keep your family safe, first and foremost.

You didnt ask for advice on how to break stroller habit, or judgment, and I am sorry you got some of that. Unfortunately you just have to let it go! I do it all the time, let it go...they dont live with you. They dont understand YOUR particular circumstances.

I allow my 6 1/2 year old son to use a chewie in public. Do we get stares? YES, do people comment? YES! do I care...NO! Id rather him chew a safe chewie then his shirt till its drenched, his zipper on his coat, the sleeves of his shirt till they get holes or his fingers, which he has gaged himeslf and thrown up doing or some other object that he can choke on. My 6 1/2 year old son likes to be in the stroller too. And I allow it, casue its safer. He will just bolt if the thought passes his mind, and Id rather him be in the carriage safe then lost in a store and god knows what else will happen. Is he always in a stroller? NO...but when the need arises I am thrilled to have it.

I have given up on caring about what others think or say. My son is big for his age, and acts like a 2yo sometimes. while he APPEARS typical to onlookers, he isnt. I get stares and looks about his behavior. People dont understand why this large boy is acting this way. What can you do? We have enough issues then to worry about what others think. Even others with kids who have autism or other disabilities.

Family and close friends dont get it, they dont live with us, so I dont expect strangers to get it.

I am NT and I have no issues with big kids in strollers. I have no issues with big kids chewing chewies, or being pushed in a shoopping cart, etc...we do waht we need to do to survive, keep our kids safe, etc.

I loved some of the wagons I saw, and look forward to getting one this summer that can accomidate my BIG boy and my 3yo. I could care less what anyone thinks about that! I know TYPICAL kids his age who like to sit and be pushed, and who tire easily, etc...so be it!

Good luck to you momma, hope that you find the stroller that will fit your needs. Hang in there you are doing the best for your kids.


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Dara, mom to my beautiful kids:
J- 8, diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD possible learning disability due to porcessing speed, born with a cleft lip and palate.
M- 5
M-, who would be 6 1/2, my forever angel baby
E- 1 year old!! !


LittleMama
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04 Mar 2012, 5:35 am

Thank you MMJMOM, your response was very inspiring and has given me more faith. That was very kind of you.
Blondambition, I do want to pubicly apologize to you. I did not mean for you, or anyone else in the universe, to interpret my rant as being towards you. I deliberately made sure to separate my response to you and my rant with double spacing. Obviously, that wasn't enough, and I apologize wholeheartedly if you felt slighted in any way, shape or form. In fact, you are a very kind person and I've noticed over the years that often times you are the only person to respond to someone's inquiry for help. You always seem to be willing to spend what little free time you have trying to help others. That is very noble and I sincerely hope you will accept my apology.

I want to apologize to anyone else I may have offended. I know you are all trying to be helpful, and not trying to add to anyone else's burdens. I know you are all mean well, and I am sorry that I overreacted. The fact that you are on this website means you have enough of your own problems to deal with. I appreciate you all taking your few spare moments of peace to respond and try to help others.

I hope you all accept my apologies. I am sorry.



blondeambition
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04 Mar 2012, 8:29 am

LittleMama wrote:
Thank you MMJMOM, your response was very inspiring and has given me more faith. That was very kind of you.
Blondambition, I do want to pubicly apologize to you. I did not mean for you, or anyone else in the universe, to interpret my rant as being towards you. I deliberately made sure to separate my response to you and my rant with double spacing. Obviously, that wasn't enough, and I apologize wholeheartedly if you felt slighted in any way, shape or form. In fact, you are a very kind person and I've noticed over the years that often times you are the only person to respond to someone's inquiry for help. You always seem to be willing to spend what little free time you have trying to help others. That is very noble and I sincerely hope you will accept my apology.

I want to apologize to anyone else I may have offended. I know you are all trying to be helpful, and not trying to add to anyone else's burdens. I know you are all mean well, and I am sorry that I overreacted. The fact that you are on this website means you have enough of your own problems to deal with. I appreciate you all taking your few spare moments of peace to respond and try to help others.

I hope you all accept my apologies. I am sorry.


Don't worry about it. I wish you the best.


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www.freevideosforautistickids.com is my website with hundreds of links and thousands of educational videos for kids, parents and educators. Son with high-functioning classic autism, aged 7, and son with OCD/Aspergers, aged 4. I love my boys!


liloleme
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04 Mar 2012, 12:47 pm

Most of us with Autistic kids get stared at no matter what....even without stroller, diapers, sucky, or chewy.....even sippy cups and bottles. Who cares, its what makes life livable and possible for us so screw society!
My daughter is nearly 7 and my son is 9. They both have chewies, my son used to also chew up his clothes and he does chew up the chewies that I buy but its ok....I just buy them three at a time and we have a couple different kinds he likes these best http://kidcompanions.com/. He takes the strings off sometimes because he says they get too wet but he does chew the edges off, as I said, its ok because he is old enough not to swallow them and he is more high functioning (Aspergers) so he knows better and he now throws away the pieces he chews off. The Chewease are good too, they are plastic tubes. The Kid Companions got my daughter to give up her Pacifier as her big teeth are coming it.

Ok so this is not about chewies. I know someone in the UK whos daughter not only has the hyper flexible joints like my daughter but her daughter is also a "runner". I thought my daughter was done with that but she did get angry with me this summer and run out into the street. I was still able to walk then but I had a cane so it was scary, we live on a very busy street. She also told us that she was going to work and my husband was distracted while I was taking a shower (this was when I could also still give myself a shower) and he was working on his grant proposal that he now knows is far less important that his daughter (we did not expect this she had not left the house for about two years). This happened a few months ago. She went outside, got her bike and went down the street....Im thankful for her Medical ID bracelet because as we were frantically looking for her a nice lady brought her home. I highly recommend the medical ID bracelets btw. My son forgot to wear his to the zoo with his grandparents and he got lost. He was so freaked out he was running around and circles (literally) and someone finally had to grab him and all he could say was "I want my Mommy" in English (we live in France and he is fluent but too freaked out to talk). Finally they got him to the security and they got him to say his name and called it out over the loud speakers. My in laws were freaked out too but whenever he takes off his bracelet to take a shower or whatever, I remind him "remember what happened when you didnt have it on".

I dont understand what "break the kid from the stroller means".....If the child is a runner or has muscle or joint issues this is for his or her protection not for Mom's convenience. There are a lot of Aspies that are in their early twenties here that can give out really great advice but there are some things like this that they just shouldnt give advice on because the DONT have kids and they really dont know what its like when you are in pain and you are trying to care for your kids and they are scaling shelves in the store or running into the street. Like last night my daughter was so tired she sat on my lap while I was in my wheel chair and it was very painful for me. I cant wait to get my electric wheel chair and her push chair so we can actually do things as a family and being pushed by my 9 year old Aspie who suddenly thinks that a isle in the grocery store is a race track is NOT fun :lol: ! We have already come up with a way to tether my daughters push chair to the front of the grocery cart so my husband can push both so my son can just walk and not have to push anyone.