As a guy how do I just be friends with a girl?

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I recently got a girls number for texting, someone I used to work with that I am friends with. I am worried that I might become infatuated with her. Most girls that I am friends with I end up liking. The last 2 girls I new semi well I just could not stop thinking about for weeks.

I only want to be friends with her, as someone who is a few years older than me (and getting a degree to be a social worker) i thought she could be someone I could talk to if i need to.

try not trying to slug her

How is that helpful or even supposed to be funny?

don't fantasize about having sex with her and don't make any physical advances. if she initiates a hug, that's okay. don't talk about how many kids you would like to eventually have and other such "trying the person on for size" questions.

Some men, usually ones who have not had much in the way of romantic relationships, are quick to develop fondness for a woman who is nice to them, and with whom they get along. The reason I believe this is is because, quite frankly, they are somewhat desperate.

They, for one reason or another, have not had much luck with relationships and have low (but not necessarily poor) standards in that they only require of a woman the criteria above to deem her relationship material. For some reason, these men fail to realize that in most instances, these women are not treating them any differently than they do anyone else.

My suggestion to you is, don't be afraid to have more standards. Believe it or not, if you just interact with women like they are people first, most women are going to be fairly nice to you, so you need to stop associating civility on her part with a potential girlfriend. Another reason why you shouldn't be so quick to make this association is, being friends with someone is entirely different than being in a relationship with them because they themselves might have different standards for a partner than they do for friends.

I am usually friends with a girl, and can tell right away if I like her. If I like her then after a few weeks she is all I can think about.

Your guys comments will hopefully help a little

Try to ignore her physical aspects as much as possible, and focus on doing things together. If you find yourself getting obsessed with her, identify this as soon as possible and immediately involve yourself in something else. Try to make it visual: if you find yourself wandering there, just visualize a red stop sign in front of your face...this will be a cue for you to switch your state of mind.

First, keep yourself from situations where your willpower is lower. Don't drink with her or hang out with her late at night when you're tired. When your willpower is low, it's much easier for unwanted feelings to creep in, or to do something awkward.

Second, if you start thinking about her constantly, think through where your feelings are coming from. Chances are, you're not actually infatuated with HER, you're infatuated with the IDEA of her--the thought of a girl wanting to spend time with you or being interested in you is powerful stuff. So if you find that your interest in her is not really interest in her, but interest in the thought of a girlfriend (and she's just a warm body that fits in that role), then keep that in mind, and it will help you to keep your infatuation in check.

Also, if you have other friends or family members you can talk to, let them know about the situation. They can keep tabs on you and help bring you back to reality if you become infatuated.

Finally, don't be afraid to pull back if you need to. If it's hard for you to be with this girl without being infatuated, pull back a little and take some time to clear your head. Take a few days to read a book, play a video game, watch tv--something solitary that relaxes you. Hopefully that will give you some perspective and keep you from stoking the fires of your infatuation.

Does that help?

Yes and no.
I couldn't stop thinking about a girl, and it made me feel awful how I had planned out that we would go to a movie (lion king 3d other people could go but if i knew the guy well i told them not to) and she said she couldn't cause she was doing laundry. I then turned to just watching netflix, reading, videogames, stopped going to class, sleeping a lot. Not just because of her, MW3 and skyrim came out soon after that

Are you seeing a counselor currently? It's troubling that you stopped going to class and started sleeping a lot after what happened with this girl--those are sometimes indicative of depression. A counselor might be able to help you process things with girls, and give you a better and more positive outlook on life

I knew a girl about two years ago who had the same sense of humor as me, and an uncannily similar way of looking at the world. We would finish our sentences sometimes, even. Plus, she was beautiful, stupefyingly so. I tried being just friends with her, and it worked for a few months, even after she shot me down, but I was so infatuated with her I would continually practice saying suave and intelligent-sounding things to her when I was alone, and I would fantasize about her finally seeing me in a different way. It was so overwhelming that I had to break it off.

I haven't had this problem since, but if what you're experiencing is even near this intense, I would hold off on interacting with her or any other attractive young women until you can get some perspective on your friendships with them. It might just come with time, it might take some serious soul-searching, or you might even need professional counseling, but eventually, you'll come to see women as fellow people instead of delicate and astounding objects of affection, and everything will be looking up from there on out.

If most girls you are friends with you end up liking, then what is it about all of them that you like so much? Just because they are a certain way as a friend doesn't mean they will be that way as a girlfriend.

Haha.

Here's one way to get into the friend zone instantly.

Both of you discuss your dating experiences and previous relationships.

This is stuff, at least early on, that only friends discuss and not daters.