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Adoption: A bittersweet option?

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hanyo
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28 Oct 2012, 1:24 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
My two cents in the poor cancer victim's hat: f**k 'em. She had her chance, and she blew it.


What chance? She was 17 and a virgin.

I don't understand how you can think that anyone that can't have their own kids is automatically a bad parent that doesn't deserve kids or that unwanted children are better off with abusive parents that don't want them or in orphanages.



Giftorcurse
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28 Oct 2012, 2:43 pm

...and I don't understand how a non-biological imitation of unconditional love (like that of adoptive parents) is better than biological superiority and dominance.

Let me put it this way: adoptive parents are inferior due to a combination of bad genetics and crippling neuroses. It's more like the kid adopted them.


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Giftorcurse
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28 Oct 2012, 3:26 pm

I had a dream once. It was grainy, hypersaturated, in black and white. There was an outline of a person, a girl. I could tell by the voice and the shape of her fingers. I knew that she was harmed psychologically by adoption. That's all I remember.


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Giftorcurse
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28 Oct 2012, 7:03 pm

^I don't know what to make of that.


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Giftorcurse
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30 Oct 2012, 5:15 pm

Can someone please prove me wrong? Can someone give me a shred of proof that love is not bound by genetics and nature?


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LKL
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31 Oct 2012, 5:17 am

Every year there are a dozen or so stories of pet owners running into burning buildings to rescue a beloved cat or dog. It is almost certain that the cat or dog is only /distantly/ related to the person risking their life.



blue_bean
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31 Oct 2012, 8:04 am

Giftorcurse wrote:
Anyway, the solution to pregnancy problems dujour is adoption. You want to know what adoption is? A business, and a sleazy one at that. And to all the adoptive parents out there that think they're doing the world a favor: think about why you wanted to adopt in the first place. You were weak. You had nothing to contribute to humanity. You're bums, nothings, scum. Why don't you all just give up and die?


Still have that silly teenage loathing for your (adoptive) parents I see?



Giftorcurse
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31 Oct 2012, 10:33 am

I'm not adopted. I'm just afraid of potential infertility.


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GGPViper
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31 Oct 2012, 11:24 am

Giftorcurse wrote:
Can someone please prove me wrong? Can someone give me a shred of proof that love is not bound by genetics and nature?

There is substantial evidence which suggests that adopted children suffer more abuse and maltreatment from parents than genetic children.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella_effect

A somewhat recent study, though, reaches the conclusion that parents make more positive investments in adopted children (preschool, private tutoring, summer school, cars,
rent, personal loans and time with sports), but that outcomes were more negative for adopted children (see page 187). The sample size isn't impressive, though.
http://kylegibson.squarespace.com/stora ... eholds.pdf



YippySkippy
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31 Oct 2012, 12:50 pm

Quote:
Can someone please prove me wrong? Can someone give me a shred of proof that love is not bound by genetics and nature?



My brother is adopted, and I'm not. He cares nothing for our parents in their old age, and very rarely visits them even though he lives close by. In our case, I would say it is the adopted child who has decided that love is bound by genetics.



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18 Nov 2012, 3:05 pm

LKL wrote:
Every year there are a dozen or so stories of pet owners running into burning buildings to rescue a beloved cat or dog. It is almost certain that the cat or dog is only /distantly/ related to the person risking their life.

Ah, how my heartstrings are pulled by your statement. Give up.


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18 Nov 2012, 3:21 pm

A bittersweet option aye . . . so it's a gift. Or is it a curse? Gift, curse, gift, curse, WHICH ONE IS IT?



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18 Nov 2012, 3:23 pm

For me, it's a f*****g curse if I ever saw one.


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LKL
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18 Nov 2012, 3:24 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
LKL wrote:
Every year there are a dozen or so stories of pet owners running into burning buildings to rescue a beloved cat or dog. It is almost certain that the cat or dog is only /distantly/ related to the person risking their life.

Ah, how my heartstrings are pulled by your statement. Give up.


You wanted evidence that love isn't bound by genetics. That's an example of love that isn't bound by genetics. What is the problem?



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18 Nov 2012, 3:26 pm

Love is all take, and no give. You find someone, wreck them, and move on.


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18 Nov 2012, 4:27 pm

Adoption is a beautiful thing.


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