Why are you still single ( one reason)

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AussieMatty
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01 Jun 2012, 4:03 am

Never ever put negative content of reasoning in here. This video applies to point of why we are still single.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMRStzVYL4Q[/youtube]



1000Knives
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01 Jun 2012, 4:59 pm

Well, because I see myself as inadequate, and thus think I would pretty much make any partner's life worse by being apart of their life, due to my problems. So even though they would potentially make me happy, I figure in the longrun, I'd make them unhappy, so I just don't pursue. I've failed too much in my life and don't want them to be apart of my series of failures.

I mean, I guess there are girls who would claim they'd love me as I am, but I myself don't believe it. I don't love me as I am, and so one day I hope to improve enough to do so. As validating or whatever as it'd be to have a female love me, it's not her job to be my confidence, fix my emotional problems with love or whatever, though I'd love that, but I realize it'd be selfish to want that.

So for the future, I see myself alone.



spacebrain
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01 Jun 2012, 5:29 pm

Lexa wrote:
metaldanielle wrote:
Omg This! I never had the words to describe it. This is my problem. I can't intiate anything. I always feel like I am intruding.


I find a good way to learn when this is actually intruding versus when it seems like intruding but isn't, is to exactly copy what someone else does, several times until it becomes a skill you no longer have to consciously employ. (It is a damned hard road but worth it, I think).

In a social situation, watch the person who everyone reacts well to. Watch how they approach another person they want to talk to, what they say/do first (wave or hand-shake or smile etc) then what they say first (do they start by asking a question about the other person?) and then how they proceed further in to the conversation (not saying a lot at first, smiling a lot, letting the conversation gradually get started like a car on an icy morning - be gentle!) 8).


I've done this so long it's become a bad habit. I ner took it to the next level your describing. Like if someone says "hi" I repeat hi back, if they say "hello" I say hello. It gets awkward when they say "what'r you working on" and I just repeat then stand there not even realizing it was a question. I also have a bad habit of just expecting platitudes, so when someone asks me a specific question I always have to get them to ask twice.



Cad
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05 Jun 2012, 8:54 pm

Until I find someone who's as crazy as me, who doesn't need my company all the time, who doesn't tell me what to do, who doesn't have to know why I do things or where I am all the time, and who understands that my art and music are my first loves and no human can ever give me the same emotional fulfillment, single I shall stay :)