Why are you still single ( one reason)

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Thanks.



Yep. I have not had a boyfriend for the past 7 years. I have dated plenty, but none of my dates have worked out well enough to become boyfriend material for one reason or another, but it typically is because I know what I'm looking for in a life partner and I have yet to find it. Hence, I am single due mostly to my standards.



Indeed.

Having the past that I have, when I feel I am under attack, even if it is "just someone else's meager view on the Internet," I might not allow that to stand depending on exactly how strong such an attack is and the circumstances surrounding it. This thread is all about people exposing their underbelly and admitting to something that might already be a sore spot for them. Trying to analyze them, be judgmental and assuming, and trying to "fix" someone that hasn't asked for it is a cheap shot, and it's unfortunately quite easy for others to get caught up in such mess, even when they mean no ill intent. It's lynch mob mentality, and I WILL put my foot down on it.

In your previous post you sounded defending the guys (" you know absolutely nothing about any of them." -->your words, or were you referring to unmentioned guys), you know in my previous post I was attacking them , not you, does my criticize of them annoy you?

by maligning her judgement and questioning her standards, I can see how that would get annoying

yea, but i couldn't help but to ask her standards.

She said she's single because she has standards, then she mentioned all those guys, so I wondered what are her standards and still wondering.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 May 2012, 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

And oh, Nicole, stop referring us as bastard, shall you?

*listening*

Ok, good Nicole.

Do you understand that these statements are directly attacking me and my ability to pick guys?


I am defending my choice to date them in the first place, which is what you are attacking. They may have turned out not to my liking for whatever reason, but you are not questioning my ability to dump them, but my ability to pick them to begin with. You do not know anything about them, and by presuming that you do, you are presuming that I made poor choices to begin with.


You didn't ask me what my standards were. Instead you used terminology and phrasing that you have already judged my standards to be wanting in some form or fashion.

You are attacking my standards for picking guys, yet everything in my original post references my standards for breaking up with them. When I called you on it, you proceeded to again extrapolate your own conjured reasons as to how those circumstance came about as a means of justifying your stance.


If you stop being so presumptuous and attacking, I'll stop calling you names.

Cool. I'll try not to do that in future then unless it's somewhere appropriate like an advice thread.

Fine, points taken, lemme sleep now.

Ah - just looked at myself on a video. Now I know why I'm single. My chin is ugly, my skin is pale in an unhealthy way, my lips barely move when I'm talking, my hair's a mess and I look like I'm a skinny thirteen-year-old.

At least hair and paleness are pretty easily alterable. If they're things about yourself you'd even want to change?
Have you ever practiced facial expressions / talking in a mirror? I did this for a long time when I was into acting and I found it really improved how I emoted with my face. It took practice but I come across as much more natural and personable than I used to. Maybe that could help?

I'm sorry if you're feeling like you are physically unattractive, I know that is not a nice feeling to have.

I have a limited social circle and I tend to keep my guard up because of an emotionally abusive ex girlfriend.

I figure that getting my mental health in better shape is a necessary pre-requisite. Having your sanity depend on other people is always so f'ed up in the end. Maybe when I don't feel those desperate, awful feelings will be the right time to consider it. Maybe there's too much mental damage at this point, though. Not sure that I'm capable of trusting humans that way again.

I'll wager you in a paleness contest. I've only met 4 people in my life paler than me, and they've all been striking red heads. Except for my face, which since I'm so pale, I get sunburned just driving in my car to and from work and I get wind burned easily during the winter, so my face is almost always red - 'Red' was the nickname I once had at a summer camp I worked.

No one will avoid you because of your chin. (Not that I know what your chin looks like - just that only an extremely giant/weird/malformed would put potential partners off while anything less wouldn't even be noticed).

I (and many others, I'm sure) happen to love pale skin. Paler the better.

Also going along with the pale...skinny weediness (is that an English-ism?) = good.

Edit: I'm not saying the above things because I'm trying to invalidate their existence as things you feel/think, or to try to suggest that there must be some other worse reason you are single - but because I wanted to let you know that at least someone out there finds some of those things you consider to be bad about yourself to actually be good

My reason for being single: closed off from the world, isolated in my apartment; without a natural social group like housemates/dorm-mates/co-workers/fellow students to go places and meet people with; put on weight from comfort-eating and staying inside changing me from tall and skinny to tall and medium-sized/lumpy-ish; an altogether too strident and vocal personality etc.



[Edited because AS FREAKING USUAL I express half a thought and keep the other half in my mind, rendering my statement completely different to how I intended. Grr. Can I also just say how stupendously, excessively it pleased me that when I hold the down arrow key to get to the end of my comment, the cursor goes to the start of each line AND ALSO FINALLY TO AFTER THE LAST LETTER OF MY COMMENT so I don't have to also switch to using the right arrow key. Makes me so happy. So happy. I'm weird.]

Last edited by Lexa on 01 Jun 2012, 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

You have attractive facial features. But you need a shorter hair-cut, I don't think many women are attracted to hair that length.

I'm reactive.
I never initiate conversations or even social gestures such as eye contact. I assume most people think I don't want to be bothered by them, this is only half true if they seem atypical, as I enjoy strange conversations.