Trapped in a cage feeling?

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DemonAbyss10
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10 Jan 2012, 12:38 pm

Well, yeah I know I myself rarely ask for advice on here and am usually found giving advice instead, figured that I might as well post something here for once.

Has anyone else here have had that 'wild animial/monster trapped in a cage' feeling and how have you handled it? I know it isn't depression or anxiety in my case simply because it has always been with me. It is more of a something trying to break out and wanting to wreak havok type of feeling and that my self-imposed restraints have been breaking. Lets just say its a side of me that I cannot let out and express itself, lots of bad s**t will happen, not anxiety about it because I know it will happen due to it happening before. It is also accompanied by a different yet similar feeling of just my mind and personality in general wanting to break free of the 'physical' self.

So yeah, here I am with no idea what to do and whatnot and asking for advice...


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Ann2011
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10 Jan 2012, 1:18 pm

I've gotten that feeling; like something dangerous inside is trying to break free. This has resulted in some very destructive behavior. I don't know what advice to offer, except maybe to try to distract yourself, but I know the feeling can go on for days. Maybe go for a long fast walk and burn up your energy.



mv
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10 Jan 2012, 1:21 pm

Can you throw disposable, breakable s**t against the wall, with minimal consequences? Would you find that cathartic at all?



ghostar
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10 Jan 2012, 1:43 pm

I have always lived with that same feeling. Even right now as I stand at my desk in my work cubicle, I feel like a tiger pacing back and forth in a cage just waiting for someone...anyone to get close enough for me to tear their head off.

I have always tried to channel this feeling into physical exercise or self-medicating behaviours. The former being, obviously, far healthier.

I have noticed that it gets worse when I don't give myself enough down time i.e. time alone. If I let my work and personal life get too busy, then it seems like the dark side of me gets stronger.

It is almost like she (my dark side) sits inside me waiting for the "good" me to get too tired to keep her in her corner any longer and then she pounces. It never ends well.

Anyway, I would recommend wearing yourself out physically if you have the time. Go running, play tennis with one of those ball-throwing machines, jump up and down...whatever you can do to get the energy out of you.



misteryb
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10 Jan 2012, 1:50 pm

I have times when that feeling takes over too.. or maybe my version of it... often it's led to me being self destructive... I don't know how to handle it except I find that if I'm involved with some project I don't feel it while engaged... but then it comes back after or during breaks...I often find I have to have a 'blow out' to get back on track though.. drink... or even sex...if I can get it or drugs in the past.... none of this is recommended, there must be a better way to handle this feeling. I think it builds when I can't express myself around people and gets worse, like a self imposed cage. Thinking about it now, maybe I ought to tell people how I am feeling more... but I'm afraid that if I do that it will ruin everything. Hmmm.



Ellendra
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10 Jan 2012, 3:30 pm

Yes, I get that feeling. I usually deal with it by beating the living snot out of a punching bag, although sometimes video games help, too.



DemonAbyss10
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10 Jan 2012, 4:01 pm

ghostar wrote:
I have always lived with that same feeling. Even right now as I stand at my desk in my work cubicle, I feel like a tiger pacing back and forth in a cage just waiting for someone...anyone to get close enough for me to tear their head off.

I have always tried to channel this feeling into physical exercise or self-medicating behaviours. The former being, obviously, far healthier.

I have noticed that it gets worse when I don't give myself enough down time i.e. time alone. If I let my work and personal life get too busy, then it seems like the dark side of me gets stronger.

It is almost like she (my dark side) sits inside me waiting for the "good" me to get too tired to keep her in her corner any longer and then she pounces. It never ends well.

Anyway, I would recommend wearing yourself out physically if you have the time. Go running, play tennis with one of those ball-throwing machines, jump up and down...whatever you can do to get the energy out of you.


That is the thing. Physical activity hasn't done squat. This also tends to be a summer thing for me, first time Ive gotten like this in winter, which means Hypersensitivity to cold isn't fun. It can delay the inevitable but I truly only feel even remotely at peace after a huge lashing out. The only one that really worked was the LARPing group. Beating the s**t out of people with a padded PVC pipe-weapon helped alot. Too bad the group split up and that I have no time freed up to bother with finding another one. (Distance is a big issue for me)

As for another persons comment. I don't break stuff due to the cost of replacing stuff (considering i have many expensive things/collectables...)

I do think that its just pent-up violent tendencies instead of too much energy to sum it up as best as I can.


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ghostar
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10 Jan 2012, 4:19 pm

What does LARP stand for?



Ann2011
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10 Jan 2012, 4:21 pm

What about anger management counselling?

I love the padded PVC pipe idea!



Dunnyveg
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10 Jan 2012, 4:36 pm

I normally don't often feel like a caged animal anymore. I too think it is a function of us not taking care of ourselves, particularly giving ourselves plenty of downtime.

This feeling is one reason I moved out to the wide open spaces. Now, about the only time I feel like an animal in a cage is when my girlfriend insists I go shopping with her. I wind up pacing back and forth in the store like a caged animal, until she tells me I'm making her nervous. Then I find myself looking over her shoulder, which makes her even more nervous.

As far as exercise goes, I took that approach when I was younger and did a lot of damage to my joints. Exercise worked for me, but at a high price.



DemonAbyss10
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10 Jan 2012, 6:18 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
What about anger management counselling?

I love the padded PVC pipe idea!


The weird thing is I can't really call it anger, more like just wanting to cause chaos and wreck stuff for Chaos/Destructions sake.

but yeah You can make many different weapons out of that. You can also make a shield out of it but I prefer the classic wooden shield with a padded rim. We had people running around in homemade chainmail, platemail, leather armor and whatnot. Usually Chainmail though.




@ghostar : LARP = Live Action Roleplay


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DemonAbyss10
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10 Jan 2012, 6:19 pm

DemonAbyss10 wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
What about anger management counselling?

I love the padded PVC pipe idea!


The weird thing is I can't really call it anger, more like just wanting to cause chaos and wreck stuff for Chaos/Destructions sake.

but yeah You can make many different weapons out of that. You can also make a shield out of it but I prefer the classic wooden shield with a padded rim. We had people running around in homemade chainmail, platemail, leather armor and whatnot. Usually Chainmail though.


@ Dunnyveg : I was thinking on it for a little bit, think boredom might be the source, but I have already done everything I can actually do that is interesting. There really isn't much round here (would be a lot more if it were late spring-early fall though).

@ghostar : LARP = Live Action Roleplay


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